How are you?  

Monday, 25 May 2009

Hey guys, its been so long.... I have been the definition of BUSY..... just look into ur dictionary, and this is what you will see:

1busy           Listen to the pronunciation of 1busy
Inflected Form(s):
busi·er; busi·est
Middle English bisy, from Old English bisig; akin to Middle Dutch & Middle Low German besich busy
before 12th century

Thank God for Memorial Day holiday..... I am in Miami with my boyfriend and some of our friends..... enjoying the beautiful south beach and picnic

Just wanted to say hello and to find out how u guys are..... I will come back and update on what i have been up to, even though my life now is all about work and work......

Thanks Danny Bagucci for checking up on us.....

My mum was in town two weeks ago and there was DRAMA!!!! thankfully not mine this time around... i promise to come back and spill

Have a beautiful week and for those in the US....Happy Memorial Day

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Pride and costs more than lilies...  

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

I listened to you all and saw Black's point of view. I finally caved in when I realised that this was a make-up or break-up situation. So I approached Black and we got everything out on the table. CG telling DJ helped A LOT. Thanks babe! However the uneasiness in our relationship had set in. We had hit that relationship wall where the honeymoon was over and the rose tinted glasses had come off.

What I quickly came to realise is that my man is not easy nor is he cheap to win back. I thought parading around in sexy lingerie might get a rise (excuse the pun) and be the end of it...the only thing he did was get up and say he had to work early. Note to self: when Black is really mad sex in whatever form will be ignored. Ouch! Attempt 1 shot down.

2nd attempt: Dinner.... The easiest way through to a man's heart is food right?
I came home early from work and went straight to his apartment. I was wearing the tightest dress, highest heels, cleavage popping and was able to make from scratch and serve up his favourite meal (peanut pumpkin leaves, roast potatoes, beef stew and chocolate mousse). He came home wolfed everything down, kissed me on the flipping forehead, said thank you, took his lap top and a tower of files to his office.

Never say die I say so attempt No.3 was already forming in my head as I washed the dishes: Call outside forces. Yep I called his friends and sisters, if anyone knew where his head was at it was them. His sisters were totally unsympathetic they all said he was pouting, throwing a hissy fit and should be left to his own devices. Another week of half speak, no eye contact, excruciating silence or polite talk and most importantly no sex and kisses on the cheek/forehead were going to kill me. 3 weeks of this and I was already fed up. His friends were no help either they said and I quote "B, I dont know what you did but he is pissed". Which meant that he was still driving down angry boulevard and was still no where near forgiveness avenue.

Attempt No.4
I decided that men when they mess up they send flowers and a card to your job right? So I went to the florist near Black's work and tried to find the appropriate flowers for a man. Do you bloggers know what a full bouquet of lilies cost? It aint cheap that's all I'm saying. I went back to my office and waited by my phone. That was 1pm. At 4.30pm I got an email message saying. "Thanks. Black". Erm WTF??? I was furious and as I went around picking up my things to get out of the office I was swearing under my breath resolved that he was not going to get a 5th attempt. Thanks??

2days pass. No text messages, no phone calls, no emails. Day 3 I was sitting on my bedroom floor @ 11pm drinking a glass of wine, staring at my defunct stripper pole, feeling extremely sad, lonely and incredibly horny. Then I started crying. CRYING PEOPLE. Never cried over a man in my bleeding life and there I was blubbering....I was paralytic with sadness. I crawled into my bed with my box of kleenex and blubbered myself to sleep. I remember waking up, feeling really warm and this heavy thing around me. I looked at the time and it was 3am. Feeling the heaviness surrounding me I realised in my sleep haze it was an arm firmly placed around my mid section. With the light from my phone I checked to see I was not hallucinating. There my baby lay, in all his chocolate goodness. I could have sat there watching him breathe in and out forever if he hadn't opened one eye squinting "Oi for goodness sake go to sleep its late". You know what bloggers snuggled up to my man on a cold Melbourne winters night, the rain pelting the windows and the wind howling I didn't think about sex or who was right or wrong. I just thought how nice it was to have this and how I had missed it. I might be a convert to all this mushy love stuff after all....

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...............and the truth shall set you free, or NOT???????  

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

CG: hey baby, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?

DJ: yea sure, where do u wanna go?

CG: nowhere, i was thinking more like my place, i will cook and u just bring the wine...

DJ: (sounding like he was trying to hold back a giggle) u? cook? really? what do u want from me? or what happened cuz the only time i see u in the kitchen is when you want to get the takeout menus.....

See, i am a really good cook, but i HATE cooking. I dont remember the last time i used my stove. DJ is the cook and he loves it so y bother?
I told him i was in the mood to cook and was going to surprise him, and oh what a surprise he got!
I left work early on monday to go food shopping. I decided to go African and make him pounded yam and vegetable soup, (like my mum's) with all those assorted meat and co. That was one of his fave delicacies and i needed to feed this man in readiness of the talk that was going to take place after.

Let me rewind and tell you what brought this on. I decided to take up my neighbour's persistent invite to their church, yea city girl went to church... thats story for another day, and how i wish i didnt go that sunday. The pastor decided to preach on "Restitution". Out of all the topics talked on in church, this was one i really couldnt stand cuz i dont really understand it. Why go back and restitute when you will only end up hurting more people. The pastor gave examples of blessings we were not receiving cuz we have not restituted our sins. It touched me and i decided to do some restitution of my own, hence the call i made to my boyfriend when i got home from church.

He came over for dinner and ate so much he could barely get up. In our months of dating, i'd only cooked once before monday and he loved it then so i had no worries about him not liking my food. He praised my cooking and asked if i could even make him a pot of the vegetable. Since i knew what was still ahead, i agreed instantly......which took him by surprise cuz he was expecting a hell no! that was the beginning of surprises.
So baby, do u wanna go watch CSI Miami? (his fave tv show), its starting. We moved to the couch and cuddled up. Then i started.......... i found myself spilling the australia semi-fling to him word for word, even the fleeing away scene. The only pauses i took was to take some wine for more courage. When i was done, he said "thats OK. so can we see how Horatio will solve this case"?

Bloggers, i was stunned. He didnt move away from me, he even pulled me closer and continued watching TV. I asked him if he had any questions or comments and he said NO.
That was monday, we have not talked about it again, and his attitude has not changed. Is this the calm before the storm? or has he truly forgiven me cuz all ive been doing since then is apologise. He's told me to stop apologising.
I wish i didnt come clean but all thats keeping me going are:

1. I did it to solve the tension black and BG have going on. Now the truth is out, he doesnt have to feel like hes betraying his friend

2. Restitution sets free

3. I want a honest relationship and i will want DJ to be honest with me too

Now all i am going to do is wait for the storm cuz i really dont think he's ok with his girlfriend semi-cheating on him..... Thats my week so far bloggers, how has yours been?

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Black its not me....its not you...its Us....  

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

I was almost certain that CG had taken the fun with her. It was so quiet in my apartment I could almost hear every sound that my surrounding neighbours made. The twins had moved out of Black's apartment in the city to the suburbs nearer to our parents and a good hour drive away from me. Black had so much work on his plate he hardly was ever around and almost always half asleep or not speaking when he was around.

So you can imagine the joy my little heart experienced when my sister Kiki (half of the crazy twins) came over on Saturday night to hang out. Kiki is the responsible and sensible one mostly when she's not being influenced by Lila. Anyway after 2 more glasses of the third bottle of wine Kiki blurted out "I'm seeing this guy,I really like him, don't lecture me about sex please. My issue is that he has more bedroom experience than I and I want to improve my game before I sleep with him. I need tips."

I knew Kiki was sexually conservative to an extent. When CG, Lila, Skittles and I were talking of sexual positions we enjoyed she left the room so embarrassed. I'm a firm believer in knowing what you are getting into and researching the hell out of a topic to get the most out of the learning experience. I brought my assorted things in my sex box from underneath the dungeons of my bed. Without missing a beat or blinking an eye lid at the fact that I kept a sex box underneath my bed Kiki simply brought out her marker and was taking notes and stapled together the photocopied pages I gave her to make into a booklet as a reference guide. So I found myself bonding with my little sister on a Saturday night finding out what positions she knew, liked, disliked, was good at and needed to work on. By 11pm she was pretty sure she had everything she needed and I called her a cab to take her home. On her way out Black arrived from a boys night out not giving me any time to clear up the box. The minute he walked in and saw the box I explained to him about Kiki and from nowhere he got so mad. I knew he was very protective of her but combine concern and a tipsy get foolish drama.

Black: Seriously? WTF? She's like 24 why would you show her those things? You should be teaching her about abstaining for goodness sake.
BG: Abstaining in which house? Do you see hypocrite on my forehead ehn? I have a stripper pole in the middle of my bedroom mate!
Black: Oh now you are making a mockery out of this. All I'm saying is if she was my little sister I would not be bringing the handcuffs and lubrication out & talking about rodeo positions...
BG: But she's not your sister & she did not come in here asking for my judgment. She wanted tips. If little things Ive learned like being able to get honey off a banana without leaving bite marks can be used to help her head game so be it.
Black: BG be serious for two seconds please. You and CG run around on your sexual mature revolution tip and promote things like booty calls, one night stands and sexing like a man but pushing this on to Ki...ah mehn..come on now!
BG: Sorry where the FCUK did we just go in this convo? Are we not just discussing the morality of giving a 24yr old woman sex tips? Then you go say CG and I are what? Are you insinuating we are promiscuous...what the hell Black?
Black: I'm going to bed, this is escalating into something else...
BG: Going to bed where? You want to pontificate about morals and then you as unwed to me as you are want to climb into my bed and sleep in my sheets? Then feel up on me in the middle of the night? Not tonight Papi! Either you explain that shit you just said or get to stepping.
Black: seriously?
BG: Is Ashton Kutcher here I look like I'm joking heh?
Black: Look all I'm saying is your attitude and CG's attitude to sex and relationships are different to Kiki's. I mean come on you and CG think its funny that she realised she loved her boyfriend after nearly having a one night stand with a guy with a small dick. That shit is not right!
BG: Again I do not see the correlation here Black. She came here asking to get some notes on my sexual experience...experience might I add Mr. High and mighty, Mr. Can-I-have-a-pole-dance-tonight-please that YOU have greatly benefited from.
Black: This is not about us this is about you giving tips to a girl who before this was happy being oblivious to BG's sex 101 class
BG: Eh? anh you have jokes ehe? Ah my friend be careful of this road you are persisting on traveling on....mssscheeeeew. This is about you Black and whatever crap you have been holding onto.

Anyway we went on like this for another hour until we touched upon the real issue of the matter. Black has a guilty conscience DJ being his friend and CG's BF he feels like he's lying to his friend when DJ and him talk. He also was not happy with my so called part in allowing CG to go on dates while she was here (he says allow like I can stop a grown woman like CG). So Bloggers for the last two weeks I do not know where this relationship of mine has been. We are barely civil to each other right now and fighting about what I no longer know. Help...

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Its been so long........... Jay's Story  

Monday, 6 April 2009

Apology for going MIA on blogging..... its been a crazy few weeks or even months...

So Australia was fun despite the tons of work i had to handle. I already gisted u guys about Jay, the handsome dude i met at a bar on a boring night...
After we had dinner that thursday evening, we started talking everyday. He always knew the right things to say. He would come down to the centre for lunch, and the days i couldnt leave my desk, we will have lunch in the office. I was getting used to his constant calls and attention. This made me ignore my boyfriend D.J and i blamed it on time difference and work. I dont know why i never told Jay i was in a relationship, i guess its cuz he never asked. He always said the right things and i noticed i was getting carried away. I had promised myself i was not going to cheat on DJ but the temptations were too crazy.

Three days before i was scheduled to leave Melbourne, my boss emailed me and said i had to stay an extra three weeks to supervise the opening of our new office in Melbourne. I was really happy cuz it meant more time with BG and Jay. I felt a little guilty for leaving DJ for so long, but its for work, i had no choice. D.J asked if he should come down for a week since he could fit that in but i refused vehemently saying it was too expensive and i was going to be very busy. Gosh i was in lust with Jay. After a movie night at BG's house, he asked if i wanted to go have midnight drink with him and despite my home gurl's warning, i went with him and we ended up at his apartment. One thing led to another and we started kissing and i guess i had too much to drink cuz we ended in his bedroom

He started undressing me slowly, taking off my black skinny jeans, exposing the midnight blue lacy boy shorts i wore under. I told him he had to take off his shirt too. fast forward to us being semi nude... i was in my bra and shorts and he had on his boxers. At first, i thought it was the alcohol that was messing with my sight and making me miss the huge bulge thats supposed to be in his boxers. He took it off anf alas! what did i see? the tiniest d*** a girl could ever see, and yes its supposed to be erect...........

I ran out of the apartment as fast as i could with the words, im sorry ive got a boyfriend i am in love with......... I jumped into the nearest taxi i could get, leaving him calling after me with such aggressiveness and desperation.....
I could have cheated on D.J, afterall, our relationship is still kinda new but one thing City girl won't do, is f*** a guy with a tiny d***.........

Two weeks later, i got to JFK, flew into my baby's arms and told him for the very first time, that i loved him.............

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Bond Girl getting serious about Skittles  

Thursday, 26 March 2009

I promised this post for Tigeress who wanted some more insight into my friend Skittles situation. Just a reminder where I introduced her in my last post

I love Skittles she's fun, vivacious, loves colour and life to the fullest. The only area that I wish she would change is her man situation. She has been living with her man TT for 5years. He shows no sign of commitment (he still introduces her to peeps as his "boo thang" )...yeah uh huh...she's 28 years old and does not need a 30 year old referring to her in juvenile terms

You might know a guy like Skittles boyfriend he is in no way a bad guy. He is quite sweet, loving, respectful, appreciative and attentive as far as boyfriend's go. The sticking point in their relationship is his inability to show commitment that moves the relationship forward. In all relationship's you always come to a point in deciding whether you can no longer be where you are at or whether you continue on to the next stage. Stagnant relationships make for unhappy people. It doesn't even apply to just boyfriend and girlfriend relationships, it also applies to friends, ex's, jobs etc. In this case Skittle's and TT have been together for 11 years in total. After 5 years they came to the point of moving in together. Now they are in this stagnant place where she wants marriage and he wants to hold off for a while longer. When she presses him for how much longer she will have to wait he shrugs, is silent or gets angry and tells her to stop nagging him.

Everyone from my mother, her mother to CG, me and to Black himself have told her to put her foot down and request that he put the ring on it. Skittles greatest reason for hesitation was being unsure of TT's response. If she did say its the ring or the end she honestly felt that he would turn around and surprise her by ending the relationship. However she could not go forward and she could not go backward. While she was here, Skittles mind was clearly elsewhere. After bugging her for days finally she admitted to what was worrying her. She was pregnant and had just found out before traveling .You can imagine my shock. CG nearly choked on her wine and Black looked up at the ceiling. Anyway she had already decided to keep the baby and wanted to tell TT the good news. She was very optimistic that this was a sign and it would be the push their relationship needed. When she returned home this week she told TT the news and he went ballistic. He Accused her of trying to trap him (after 11yrs she tries to trap you now?...erm ok)and forcing him into marriage so soon (soon? the man is 30, they own the home they live in and he has a regular high income). I'm sure TT is just freaked out and needs time to comprehend this new development but their situation got me thinking. What was once an issue about choice or decision is now about responsibility and obligation...two words that can kill romance so quick that you will get dizzy.

Like I said although this is a relationship problem this can occur in anyone's relationship. If you are in a job that no longer makes you happy or a friend that no longer provides you with the friendship you require or want you feel suffocated in no man's land waiting for to something to change the situation. If you have an ex that you go back and forth with and always seem to return to the same place again that going nowhere situation will always leave you unhappy, unsure and dissatisfied. Don't let something decide for you what you HAVE to do, make the choice and decide what you WANT and NEED to do.

One of the most eye opening books is Iyanla Vanzant's book In the meantime. Ms Vanzant speak the truth by pointing out that a lot of us are "In the meantime" i.e “When you are not happy where you are and you are not quite sure if you want to leave or how to leave, you are in the meantime.”

People in the meantime:
• You know what is wrong with your ex-lover yet still get drawn in with his/her issues
• You are crying for no apparent reason, and you do not want anyone to know you are crying.
• You have been fired or laid off.
• You are separated or recently divorced.
• You haven’t had any dates in the last nine months.
• You are not married but have been sharing toothpaste and closet space and still aren’t sure this is what you want to be doing.
• You are not married, do not share toothpaste, and have given up on dating.

And here is what is probably going through your mind:
Don't know why I can't go. Don't know why I should stay. Don't know where I'm going. Don't know how I am going to get there, wherever there is.

Well Bond Girl likes to keep it light in her posts but this one is serious and close to her heart so what does Blogville think? Am I right is it best to make the hard decision to let go before something happens and its made for you?

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Bond Girl S'pecially for you...  

Monday, 16 March 2009

Having not seen Black this whole week it was kind of a thrill to be able to call him to make plans about our weekend rendezvous. We both normally finish quite late on a Friday but I actually managed to leave work by midday (when I’m on a mission I can finish a pile of work so quickly it will make my own head spin) and Black had shuffled his day around to be able to leave by 6pm. By 1pm I was at Crown Spa Complex getting myself waxed, plucked, manicured, pedicured, scrubbed, painted, massaged and lathered up with vanilla mousse lotion. By 2.30pm I thought what the heck lets fix the hair while I’m at it. I drove to my hairdresser who was actually more than accommodating seeing that I had no appointment to shampoo, straighten and highlight my bob cut (yes I was one of the black girls who jumped on the Rihanna bob cut and no I don‘t have a big forehead but I rock that fringe/bangs). By 4pm I was driving back to the hotel scattering rose petals, ordering champagne on ice for our arrival later, asking for scented candles, making sure I had brought the massage oil kit (shout out to the twins for my xmas gift).

By 5.55pm I was standing in front of my car waiting for Black in front of his office complex. I was feeling a little vulnerable and paranoid especially since I was wearing a trench coat and the best lingerie ensemble CG’s money could buy courtesy of Victoria Secret (Shout out to the ladies in Crown Plaza who in 20 minutes found me the above piece* and who got me the free entry to the Crown Spa Complex- it pays to smile and be nice!).

By the time we were entering the lobby of the hotel I was feeling so tired and exhausted. My early morning starts and very late finishes were catching up with me but I was happy I was getting some time out. Our hotel suite was on the 16th floor and at the 4th floor Black jokingly said “ Ok now show me what you got little mama” …he didn’t expect me to flash him of course but I did…lol…by his wide eyes and open mouth it looked like he approved. Unfortunately for him on the 5th floor another couple got on the elevator with us. Having seen a glimpse of the goodies he kept poking me (with his finger get your mind out of the gutter Shona!) saying “baby if we get off here and take the stairs it will be quicker”. Um yeah right…in these heels? The man was crazy…I told him to stop poking me otherwise his finger would be the only thing poking me that weekend. He immediately stopped but when we got to the 16th floor he grabbed my hand and rushed out of the elevator heading left (our suite was on the right). “Eh Eh….you don’t even know where you are going!” I said to him. Impatiently he snapped at me…”So bloody well tell me then”. Excuse me? Blogville I stopped dead in my tracks, hands on my hips, head doing its exorcist turn, foot tapping “Eh? What did you just say?”. Never seen a man apologise so quickly …stumbling and stuttering over words…lmao.

Needless to say that once we were inside the room (he didn’t even take stock of the petals, candles and champagne….after all the work…) In between removing the trench coat and kissing I was asking him “So baby you like the room?” he answered distracted.. “Yeah beautiful, yep great…lovely…baby what kind of trench coat is this? It has buttons and was it necessary to button all of them?”.
*roll eyes* clearly the vanilla scented candles had no relevance at that point. The last thing I remember was him lifting me and placing me on the bed. Now blogville before you judge let me point out that this week I have been getting a maximum of 4hours of sleep, running around work and hosting CG….so I didn’t mean to fall asleep while my man was kissing on my neck…I really didn’t. When I did wake up, I could sense he was watching me. Cocking one eye open, I saw him lounging in a chair facing me, with this unimpressed look on his face… I sneaked a loom at the bedside table clock praying I hadn’t fallen asleep for to long…it read 10pm (I had been out for 3hrs) I smiled sheepishly at him. He stared me down and said “ Now that you are rested…you better bring you’re A game…I’m expecting Cirque du Soliel type moves in this room tonight”. I would have laughed but the dead pan look on his face was telling me to play it safe. Please tell me I’m not the only one to ever do this? LOL, I did make it up to him…I did but he is still grumbling about this. Especially because CG keeps pretending to fall asleep during conversations with him and saying “Dang sorry…did I fall sleep?”. NOT HELPING CG…NOT HELPING AT ALL!

I promised Tigeress to write a post about my friend Skittles who is going through some drama's with her man. Tigeress next post will be it ok? Hopefully her drinking session with CG had her thinking about other things over the the hangover's they have been nursing...just looking at them I can see the debauchery written on their face....makes me wonder what they got up to.....hmmm well I need to leave this office Monday is almost over. Have a great week everyone!

*Disclaimer...that is not me in the picture...that is the lingerie CG bought for me.

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Bonding time to find out that the grass is not always greener  

Wednesday, 11 March 2009

The grass is always greener on the other side but that's just mostly because you spend most of your time looking at someone else water their garden than do anything with yours. Black is my garden...the one area of my life EVERYONE tells me that is perfect or that I am so lucky to have. Let me say that he is great but he has his flaws just as much as anyone else and if you were to ask CG she says that she could never date Black because he's too involved in a relationship (she likes her space, her distance). Now Teni thought she needed Black because he was the right fit for her and fast forward to now I see her looking happier, healthier and more sane with Jack than I have ever seen her. Her mother has glowing reports of how she has changed so much...she still gives me withering glances when she see's me out and about but honestly you can tell there is a different person in there...her heart is not in the evil looks as The devil maybe losing his number one draft pick...

Anyway so on to what got me started on this post. My good friend Skittles flew down early from Sydney to hang with CG and I during the upcoming L'Oreal Fashion Festival next week. I love Skittles she's fun, vivacious, loves colour and life to the fullest. The only area that I wish she would change is her man situation. She has been living with her man TT for 5years. He shows no sign of commitment (he still introduces her to peeps as his "boo thang" )...yeah uh huh...she's 28 years old and does not need a 30 year old referring to her in juvenile terms. Anyway she was going on about how Black was perfect blah blah so I would not understand her situation. When I tell people Black and I fight..they get this puzzled look and normally ask "about what? Why you gotta stress him girl?". So I decided that as much as I love my baby I am going to list his faults and mine as well...because hell I'm not perfect either..

First off he's always in my family issues from the jump off. Even when I first met him as a teen I was having family issues and he wanted to be the counselor extraordinaire. Sometimes I just want him to let me handle it or not handle it. On the flip side I need to let go and let people in more but I get scared that if I become too reliant on a man to solve my problems then I will be useless if the man were to leave.

He trusts way too much and I would say he's a bit naive when it comes to girls. Girls will seriously be trying to set up a one night situation and he won't see it coming until too late. Look at the Teni situation, he believed her lies way too much and couldn't see that she was romantically infatuated with him. I on the other hand don't trust anybody until you have given me reason to. I am a hard nut to crack...I believe the worst before I believe the best.

He's a workaholic...he's cut down a lot recently though. His last Blackberry died a tragic death because I was talking to him about something important at dinner and he was busy replying a work email. I snatched it off him and dunked it in the restaurant's fish tank next to the huge lobster. From this you can see I have a temper and I'm impulsive right? LOL...I did replace it with my own money though..*sheepishly grins?*

He is always late...Oh lawd I have tried everything to train this man to be early. I have promised sexual, work and domestic favours. He still is late. It does not help that I am always early for everything I do. So if he is late by 15mins it means I have been waiting for 30mins because I was there 15mins earlier.

He is impatient. If he wants something he wants it now. If he waits for something then its really important.

When I get mad I don't pause to think or try and calm myself down. I will cut you first and think about it later....just joking but you get it right? It is only through knowing people like CG and Black who have calmed me down a lot that 60% of my encounters with people have been deescalated because I took a step back.

Ok those are some of the faults if I continued I might not have a boyfriend at the end of What about you guys what are your faults?

On a separate note: This Friday & Saturday night I really have to take some time to chill with Black I have been neglecting him so much since CG came and what makes it worse is that he's been busy with work and so have I. I think I have seen him once in the last 5 days, spoken to him twice and emailed him the rest of time. You can't conduct a relationship via email can you? CG is taking me shopping (Victoria's Secret...her treat..yay) and giving us her hotel room to use... so hopefully I can pick up some sexy pieces and try and make it up to him. I'm thinking though that if I work my butt off this week by Friday I can leave work early...I will go cliche, wear lingerie under a trench coat (pray there are no gusts of wind), pick him up from work and go direct to the hotel where I can pamper him. Good idea? Does anyone realise that being in a relationship you work harder at it than when you were single and looking for a man? Seriously when I was single and mingling the effort I put in was not anywhere near the effort I put in keeping this relationship going. When I say work I do not mean it as a chore, I enjoy juggling my work, friends, family and him and it is a big ask but fun too because it fills my days.

Hope you are all good! Shout out to the regulars for showing love on this blog...we read although we may not always write on your blogs! (Bumight, Tigeress, Danny B, Temite, Shona aka Mai sexy, Miss DM, Haddasah, Nefertiti, Buttercup, Afrobabe, Toluwa) Stay well xxxx

** SIRIUS** babe I was so sure I had listed you shout out to SIRIUS and Qube Word Smith and Mike!

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Fighting Temptations..............  

Friday, 6 March 2009

Its been a long ass week......... im so glad its friday night cuz ive major plans...... im taking melbourne by we r hitting the clubs tonight. shoot, ive to get dressed now!

Lets rewind..........i was so nervous and excited all through the long haul flight. I was finally seeing my girl, my sidekick, my one and only (ok i have to be nice so she can feed me). I opted to stay with her despite the company booking me into a room at Crown towers and its so annoying, i dont have the cash option so i still have the hotel key. Maybe if BG decides to hook me up with a casual fling, it may be

Work has been crazy. Please the next time i talk about an upcoming out of town project, pls snap me out of it. I am saying NO to out of state projects for at least one year. From packing (with the unpredictable Australian weather), to the stupid ass customs..... Quick story, i paid $250 to fix my Brazillian virgin hair (the stupid weave cost me so much money to buy ) cuz i decided i had to look trendy for my work/vacation. Feeling good with myself, i walked through customs after claiming my luggage and lo and behold! i found myself taken to a room for a quick search. Apparently, customs have now caught on to the possibility of drugs being smuggled under our “fake hair”. I was so pissed, cant even explain to you guys....

Tuesday evening, i went for dinner and drinks with BG at a place called Ondergrounds ...... and wait for it......... i met a guy! Tall, white and cute with blue eyes. just like i like them.... I know, you dont have to tell me, i have a man that loves me...bla, bla bla!!!!!
Anyway, i sat at the bar with BG and ordered some signature cocktails, i requested for my usual appletini and the bar dude told us the drinks were on this guy, lets call him Jay. Let me confess here that i can be a huge flirt and in a new town, i brought my A game!!!! He looked so handsome with his polo shirt, dark jeans and some gorgeous looking shoes.. I winked at him and mouthed thanks. Taking that as his cue, he walks over and started talking in that aussie accent: the good one! my knees started shaking. see a casual fling staring right in front of me. Oh my! i need help. BG took over as she realised i had started stuttering. Dont blame me, i was lusting with no boundaries. He introduced himself to us and asked if it was ok he joined us with his friend....... Drama! Friend comes over and guess who?????? wait.......... erm.......... BG's ex! I had heard so much about the effer and seen pictures and we are supposed to hate him so u can imagine the complication. It was shocking. BG's ex excused himself almost immediately but left Jay. Hallelujah! I really dont remember how we got through the night, i think i had over 7 drinks and was on the verge of getting drunk. He is so fun to talk to. I told him i was on a work assignment and he asked for my address and number. I dont know why i gave him. Guess i couldnt resist his blue eyes.... Why am i a sucker for casual flings with white guys????????? Ok, im not saying abything is going to happen between us but hey, ive got like 3 weeks to go, who knows what wil happen. Anyway i digress

This morning, i got a bouquet of flowers at work, which apparently went round the whole offices cuz they were trying to figure out who CG was..... (note im an external consultant, i think i should have told him no one really knew my name) and the card that came with it read " dinner tomorrow?"
He called me later in the afternoon and i had to say yes. In the words of BG, let him keep u company while ur here, so u'd appreciate D.J when u get back to NY......
I have not told Black, he's gonna freak and be upset, i think! Im a big girl, i can handle myself.... and he better not be reading this post cuz BG will be in trouble for her

I see Jay as a good distraction and who knows? maybe we could use my empty room at Crown Towers. Right now, im going to focus on what to wear for dinner tomorrow.

P:s- pls note, i DO NOT condone any form of cheating in a i am not cheating on D.J.... I am just making friends with Jay, who knows when i will need him in future.........

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Black is in love with a stripper....LONG POST ALERT!  

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

So Friday, 7am, running around in my black lace, cherry Laperla underwear was not my idea of being cool, calm , collected and organised for CG‘s arrival. HOWEVER if someone had not insisted on first thing in the morning nookie and had STUCK to the promise of “baby it will only be a quickie…15mins tops” I would NOT be jumping from foot to foot trying to fit into a pair of jeans, touch up the weave, do my make up, find my car keys and find the right pair of heels. Anyway finally fitting into the jeans and heels to match I was nearly on my way to the airport when Black who was lying on my bed looking oh so rested and casual cleared his throat and pointed at the lack of coverage on the top half of my body. I was wearing just my bra …quickly delving back into the wardrobe I found a white, tight singlet, chucked on my oversized wrap around sunglasses and ran out of the apartment at top speed to pick up CG and the twins. I was able to get to the airport in 45 minutes when it should have taken me double that in the horrific traffic only to find out that CG and the twins were held up in customs. An hour later they emerge looking hella pissed pushing their luggage with this air of “Just get us out of here”. Once we had all kissed each other hello and piled into my car, which had a ticket for being parked over time in the short term parking (thanks parking attendants at Tullamarine airport) CG pointed to her weave which looked a bit ruffled and said “ Do you see your customs people acting like they are the CIA in my hair?” Apparently…WARNING to black female, weave wearers of the world customs have now caught on to the possibility of drugs being smuggled under our “fake hair” a point which CG had to debate with them for 15mins because as she puts it… “its my real hair because I paid for it”.
Saturday afternoon I took CG with me to my pole dancing class (its good for toning….and some other stuff that I have forgotten about right now) and walking back from class to my car CG see’s this sex store and drags me in there. I was still shocked by half the appliances up front when I realised CG had disappeared and could see her bum wiggling in the air right down the back of the shop. She finally straightens up with a portable stripper pole in one hand and purse in the other with a determined look. I started to shake my head because I knew that stripper pole was not being bought for her as a memento on her trip. Ignoring my refusals and excuses she paid for it and I looked sheepish and embarrassed as the cashier rang up the price (those interested…a portable pole goes for $50AUD). Carrying that pole to my car and then to my apartment I looked mortified at the stares we were getting…CG on the other hand looked at me and said “Oh what? Now you're embarrassed? You take pole dancing classes and you have no pole at home….how do you expect to excel or maintain….don’t be half arsed about it now. Some of these heifers wished they could do a split while hanging upside down on a pole…you got skills baby…SKILLS!”. Needless to say the shine in black’s eyes and the sudden skip to his step was impossible to notice. He has never offered so quickly to put up anything. I bought a beautiful full length mirror last week that took me 3 days of nagging to get him to finally hang up for me….the stripper pole took him all of 30mins to have it up. Just to wipe the smile off his face I reminded him that as CG was staying with me any pole dancing would have to be done after she leaves (of course that’s not true but it sure as hell stopped him from whistling “I am in love with a stripper”). That very same night we went to a well known Gentleman’s club to “witness a practical demonstration” as CG put it…again Black was happy as pie…You can see why he and CG are good friends right? ************************************************************************************
I honestly thought CG would have some time to chill with me during the week days but her job is a lot more hectic than I gave her credit for. Being a fashion consultant to a department stores is harder than to individual clients because you need to recommend fashion pieces that the department stores clientele will be able to purchase but also happens to maintain and at times elevate the department stores style reputation as well. I spent a whole hour with CG at work and instantly craved my office where my phone rings every 15 minutes, my files although high never intimidate me, my lunch hour is exactly an hour, never is it subject to change without notice and where clients and work colleagues do not barge into my office unannounced and stressed to the max! Although I have to wonder how she keeps her mind focused when you have half naked male models being paraded in front of you so that you can view the new Peter Alexander pajama wear for ‘09 or why her assistants just look down right sexy…
No fair huh? Sorry its been a long post but thought I should update you guys because Eish the coming weekend’s and weeks are looking a tad busy…. I have not even had time to question the twins properly…but I will do my best to update you all…xxx

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She's leaving on a jet plane to come and put back the F U in FUN!  

Thursday, 26 February 2009

I have to love blogville...the minute I mentioned big news you all ran to marriage and pregnancy. I feel kind of bad letting you all down with the news that there is no marriage or babies on the way! Unfortunately the news I have is reunion related...bigger than a Destiny's Child Reunion! Now you all know bloggers that CG and I have not seen each other since we were young kids but have managed to maintain a friendship across the seas and due to CG's work schedule which has never ever coincided with my holiday plans and vice versa we have always managed to miss opportunities to meet up. In the mean time though our parents, siblings, friends and in my case boyfriend have managed to rack up enough frequent flyer miles to visit the other. CG's brother stayed with me for 6 months 2 years ago when he schooled here, her parents and mine have gone on two cruises together, When Black left Australia to work in the States first person he looked up was CG.

Tomorrow though its all going to change. Tomorrow my girl CG is flying in. I have my place hoovered, dusted, stocked with food and alcohol like I am preparing for war. AND that's what it is... war on Melbourne nightlife! CG AND BG in the same city again....what you know bout FUN? She's packed her designer what not's and is currently in the air somewhere ready to land @ 7am. Granted she is coming to do some work for department store Myer for a month but her work schedule will be quite light compared to the minimum 16 hour days she pulls when she's in the States or Europe. When she told me about it last week I thought she was joking...a whole month..CG and I? Ooooh lawd....let the fun begin! Black is already rescheduling dates we had planned and organising boys nights out...he knows the drill! Yes, she is coming with the twins and leaving her man behind for a month. However she needs the break, I think she is a bit concerned about the whole MOVING IN with her man thing. I hope she doesn't tie up my phone line with her phone sex habits over

Now you have heard me mention Kiki and Lila my twin sisters. They are both 24, feisty, stubborn, outrageous, downright crazy, out spoken and daring. However they are also loving, compassionate, loyal, fashionable, smart and creative. These girls make me go crazy sometimes but I love them..truly I do...just not this week. The girls both finished degrees in Finance/Accounting. When they finished the degrees they told my parents they did not want to come home because they were interested in doing their masters. Mr parents happy their children were suggesting further education readily agreed sending them money to extend their visa's, school fees and living expenses. Over Xmas and New Year I knew they were kinda off their game because damn the holiday season was tame for them. No boys calling up, hanging huge parties or even drinking sessions. Even Lila's man Terence who was home for the holidays wasn't seen! Both of them just chilled at my apartment, hung out with family, caught up with few friends and went to the gym. THAT is unusual behaviour for my sisters....there was not one huge party they JUST HAD to go to AND there was no sneaking out and returning @ dawn. Very weird....

When they returned to NY...ish hit the fan. Lila was found out that she hadn't been to school in months nor had she been working. While Kiki had quit school and started to work to cover their living expenses. Now here comes my suspicion and I know my sisters read this hopefully they will read this and have the courage to tell me WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG?? Something went down with Lila's man because he has not been mentioned in months. I saw the fool at a club the other week dancing with these girls and I asked Lila what he was a)still doing in Australia and b) why he was grinding and gyrating with a bunch of girls drunk off his face? All of a sudden she had somewhere to be. This was strange because if you think Black and I are inseparable Lila and her man Terence are..sorry I mean were like a married couple. Although Terence is not my favourite person they seemed to be going the distance after 3 years together. Black tried to talk to him to see what was up and was RUDELY told that "until he marries into the family it aint none of his business". He lucky I was holding Black back... I asked CG to investigate and Lila damn near bit her head off telling her to mind her own business, CG just gave her this look like "who do you think you are speaking to?". Although Lila apologized she still didn't spill the beans. I don't know whats up but I KNOW something is up and I WILL get to the bottom of it. I know Kiki is covering up for Lila...I know it because she is the only one who returned the school fee money back to my parents. Lila on the other hand has been very quiet on the subject when normally her ass is so vocal on everything else!

In the mean time I am off the wall crazy happy my girl is coming home and although I would have preferred better circumstances I am glad the twins are coming as well. Hopefully being around CG, Black and I will give them the confidence to say something and then when all is said and done maybe we can put back that F U in FUN....

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Questions answered by Black & BG...LONG POST ALERT  

Friday, 20 February 2009

Shona Vixen batter up...
a)What song reminds you of Black and makes you want to go and rip his clothes off?(This is a song you'll hear on your i-pod on ur way to work or something and you'll be like I'm doing him tonite!'
Black has a cd which has a triple threat on it and he normally plays it when I’m mad at him. Like yesterday I was angry at him and driving from work just about 15mins from his house, he pop’s in the triple threat Cd. It starts with Tyrese’s…On top of me, Usher‘s nice and slow, then Janet‘s Would you mind. (Those jams are my ish, I see fire when I hear them...worse if I am tipsy!) By the time Usher was singing “it‘s 7 O‘clock on the dot I‘m in my drop top cruising the streets” I was like pull over you drive, can’t even bleeding concentrate! Even then he was lucky he was not molested in the ride up to his apartment (those elevators if they had camera’s)….damn, I’m so weak…the Devil knows my first name I tell you!

b)Would you ever go back to Zambia?

I have been “advised” by Black that Zambia is our holiday destination/ emergency evacuation country when Zim or the Miz as he calls it is “under pressure”. So I would be living in Zim…. He misses his hang out joint “the Keg” I think its called.

Do you agree that the Vic Falls belongs to Zimbabwe? is to tick K off as….
I zip my mouth on this one, K and I are going shopping Saturday...over to Black:
As a young man H-Town was my play ground, St Georges boy for life and Borrowdale was my hood. So ssssshhhhh but K knows that the best views are on our side, tourism is only down because of Uncle Bob however the falls belong to Zimbabwe…we lease the rest. LOL. When she see’s I have posted this heads will roll…I officially blame you Shona! Queen BG is zipping her mouth she might lose K as her drinking buddy

a)What BG's sexiest outfit (i know all are sexy..i trust my girl) BUT what's the one that makes you want to tear it off??...LOL..
She has this purple halter neck, backless dress, form fitting, knee length she wears with these Black sky high gladiator heels. The best part of the dress is the back and not only for the obvious reasons (my baby was truly blessed in the Beyonce department). The dress is backless you can see her small tattoo of Africa on her left shoulder.

Next Batter up is Bumtight...

my questions is :
1. how long have u been dating black?
When I was 16 (the first time I met him), we dated for 4 years. Now we have been dating for 4 or 5 months I think…LOL, Black’s eyeballing me …like I need to know the exact date….mssccheeewww
2. your last biggest fight. when? what was it about?
Our last biggest fight was this week, last night to be exact. Black admitted he was wrong. It’s to do with my sisters who want to move back to Australia (they are currently living in New York). My mother won’t let them come stay with her because they have not been attending uni and generally taking the piss out of their education. So our parents said fine work if you are not in school. They were not finding jobs just partying. Now they are broke, jobless, rent is due, their lease is up and they expect to be bailed out. They were just here for Xmas and knew all this was going down and never said anything to anyone. I can’t let them stay with me because there is not enough room for them long term…but BLACK goes and tells the girls its ok they can stay in his spare room AND then said he will sort out their rent issues this month. I think its ridiculous those two were messing about and now they are being bailed out. Eish this deserves a whole post on its own. Black is just a soft touch. Me not so easy.

Disclaimer from Black: I am hoping B does not see this when I post it she was completely in the wrong but I let her think she’s right because date night is tonight….I need her in the right mood.

Miss Temite step to the plate...
Question for Black - Do you have any Brothers? Seriously! Cuz I wouldnt mind moveing to Australia or Zambia, even Antartica sef. I must have a channel bag and a man who loves me to o. and do you seriously have any faults? Seriously!
LOL. Temite I was told about you. Alas I am the only boy in the family but I do happen to have a lot of male cousins to make up for it. B always says that if things don’t work out with us she has a back up plan in the form of my cousins. So maybe you can ask her who she is eyeing…possibly at the same time passing on the info to me?

Questions for you Bondy boo - Are you in need of another little sister? I know you have the twins but.... Cuz I woudnt mind being adopted! seriously.
Ah the twins are a handful Temi! Especially this week, they are so in trouble with me its not funny. I am thinking of disowning them so you have a very good chance this week of being adopted…..mssssccccheeeew….at least you are behaved those two give me blood pressure.

Next the regal Nefertiti...

So my questions are:
* How old are you? 26
* How did you meet CG?
City girl and I met when we were 5 years old, our fathers worked for the same mining company in Zambia (ZCCM). Our families have always been joined to the hip so to speak and we were best friends until we were separated at age 7. I moved to Australia, and CG moved back to Nigeria. Then she moved to the UK and finally she now resides in the Big Apple.
* Why did you decide to live in australia?
It was my father’s decision after his contract with the mining company ended as it was being privatised . My father then decided to change professions and come to Australia and study law taking us with him.

* Where is Black from?
He’s Zambian/Zimbabwean. His mother is Zambian and his father is Zimbabwean. They first lived in Bulawayo for a few years and then to Harare. Then his father was offered a position by his company to work here in Australia.

Our Alpha male, the man amongst the beauties... Danny Bagucci

1. for Black -- what, when or where did he finally realize you were the one?
Well, Danny this is probably going to give her a big head but honestly I fell in love with her because she surprises me. When girls or guys meet her they think she cracks the whip hard and lets face it a bit of a bitch. What they don’t realise is that when you get into her heart she graces you with such unconditional love and support that you feel so comfortable being just you with her. She has a small, tight circle of friends spread out all over the world who she would die or kill for. That is no joke either. I guess I just love the duality in her, that is she can be like an angel from heaven to her loved ones but cross her path and even the Devil gets scared of riding with her. I realised she’s the one for me last year while I was in New York actually. I knew I loved her but didn’t know I could not live without her until we were apart. Sounds really sad but God knows its true.

2. Do you ever think about heading back to Africa eventually on a long term basis??
Madam and I share this dream in particular. I always say that “from the red soil we came, from the red soil we shall return for our souls reside in Africa though our bodies travel the world”. Its imperative that the African diaspora realises and really follows through with its legacy of building a greater Africa. Ok I have to stop there B is shaking her head at me in that don’t you get started on your call to progress on her blog,

Last but surely not blogger...2Hawt
your job sounds really did you get into it?
I am a legal researcher, interesting at times boring at others. City Girl’s job as a fashion stylist/consultant/ advisor is more glamorous and pays WAY better than mine…the only time that I have ever seen a Jimmy Choo is when she sent a pair for my birthday last year. I got into my job because my father is a lawyer and I grew up loving the law and always researching, reading, debating, politics. So the legal field just felt right for me. Although I am qualified to practise law, I do not…the only 2 lawyers I trust and think that have a soul are Black and my father.

What do you do for fun?

Swimming in the summer is my ish. I could live at the beach and it’s a good thing my parents have a beach house. I love watching football (fav team Manchester United). I love reading, writing, blogging, going out for dinners, SHOPPING!!! Especially shoes…the higher the better! I’m not a club girl but used to be…I only miss it now for the sake of dancing. Case in point last week I dragged Black to the club in order to hear that new JT song. I love going to museums, art gallery openings, poetry and jazz nights.

That's it folks see you next the mean time if you are going to be naughty be nice as well....

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The Valentine's weekend  

Sunday, 15 February 2009

Hey guys, did you have fun yesterday? In the spirit of love, i decided to finally talk to my brother. I invited him for a Valentine's day dinner at my house with my boyfriend, D.J (im realising this is the first time im mentioning his alias) and i told him he could bring a date.
I realized it was time i embraced his coming out, even though i had to find out at a bar, and try to mend things between us. Did i tell u guys i stopped picking up his calls, i refused to see him. He tried to get to me through D.J but i just couldnt handle talking to him.

Anyway, D.J cooked and four of us sat down to dinner. I must say that man can cook! My brother came with his date, and from what he said, they had been dating for 3 weeks. They seemed happy and i guess i'd just have to get used to seeing my lil brother with a man......... gosh!!!!!!!!!!!
Thankfully, dinner went well, i got hair tips from my brother's boyfriend (doesnt even sound right) and a date to go shopping with him. I must say, i have nothing against gays.... i have a close friend here thats gay. Guess its cuz i never saw this coming, hence the shock. We all got along well and im so glad for BG, Black and D.J's support through it all.

After dinner, it was time for D.J and i's proper valentine celebration. I like my baby so much, he got me a tiffany necklace that ive been lusting after, a personalized build a bear hello kitty and yep, no Vals day is complete without a cake for me....... Thankfully, i got him what i can see he appreciated.... 3 different Wii games (what is it with men and their toys!), and an initialized bracelet..... And no, im not telling u what went on at night.
He was romantic all weekend and took me for an early breakfast today. He kept telling me how much he loved me, but i can bring myself to still say it....... i think im ready to say it back.... how do i say it back? im glad he's been understanding so far.... though the moving in issue is still hanging in the air

Have a great week guys and as BG said, something huge is in the air..... so wait for it

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Black don't do Valentine's Day  

Thursday, 12 February 2009

Its funny that of all the things that Black would choose not to celebrate Valentine's Day is the last one that most people would guess. He has a serious dislike for it. Me I'm easy either V day or yay V day don't really care. All day today people have been asking me "What are you and Black doing?, So is Black planning something big?". Then see their faces change in shock when I roll my eyes and say in a monotone voice, "We are doing nothing, Black is planning nothing because he does not celebrate Valentines Day". Somehow no one believes me. Everyone see's me as the hard Biatch who has probably told Black to not plan anything but seriously Blogville it's not me! You might ask why this man is not big on Valentines Day well according to Black he loves me every other day so what is he meant to do on the 14th of me to death? His reasoning not mine. So if you guys were expecting a mushy lovey dovey love fest featuring Black and I'm sorry to disappoint, the only thing extra I'm getting is in the boudoir.... Maybe City Girl might have something going on...I pray she does because otherwise there will only be dry gist here for you guys...

Random side track
: Erm where have I been apparently Chris Brown did a Bobby Brown on the Barbados princess? Wait a second I need to tell Black because he is in love with that girl even with her big forehead! ....Alright I'm back....Um yeah Chris Brown if you meet Black anywhere in the near future my advice is Run It Run IT!

Fire news
: Ok back to the post and this life of ours. Black and I are hosting a Bush Fire party to raise funds for our friends who have lost their homes in the bush fires. It is really sad, Black's secretary lost her home and still came into work the next day because she didn't want to let him down. So much love goes to SIRIUS who came to see if we were still alive! Thanks SIRIUS babe!!!!!!!!!

I'm asking all our peoples to ask me any question you have ever wanted to know about Me, my life, Black (I might even get him to answer some questions) for the next post and the post after that BIG NEWS PEOPLE....BIG NEWS!!! And no you can not ask what the big news is going to be....LOL

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Bond Girls lessons in Wedding Etiquette...  

Sunday, 1 February 2009

One of my female friends Audrey got engaged last year to her boyfriend of 5 years and they were supposed to be joined in marital bliss this past Saturday. Alas they canceled the wedding two weeks ago. The story goes that Audrey refused to down size the wedding even though her Fiancee Rueben could no longer afford half of her extravagant demands. I was actually quite touched (slang=hurt) that Ru as I call him was denying his bride the day of her dreams until I heard the requests. So he could no longer afford to transport the bridal party and V.I.P guests in chauffeur driven Rolls Royce and instead had organised the bridal party to ride in HIS 300C Chyrsler and the V.I.P driven in his friends assorted luxury cars (all black). Instead of having the Park Hyatt Hotel cater he wanted to get his client's brothers catering company which serves to exclusive clients anyway for a lesser price. Furthermore instead of his guest each getting an inscribed watch for the men and bracelets for the women he organised a free weekend spa for the ladies and grand prix tickets for the men again via the courtesy of his client's. The things that remained the same were the number of people invited, the dress (although he got his suit at discount), the number of brides maids and grooms men.

Audrey aka bridezilla called me moaning and crying that her wedding was not going to be the same blah blah blah. I'm sorry but I had no sympathy for her people. Ru could have postponed the wedding all together because of the financial climate we are in and instead he decided to use his connections to get a cost effective wedding and HER issue is she can't claim her wedding was the most expensive amongst all her friends? My other issue with this women was that she had a wedding register now unlike your normal register this woman organised her wedding register to have a his and hers thing. The ladies had to buy gifts for her and the male guests had to buy gifts for the groom. Now I looked at Ru's register and was envious of Black because Ru was not asking for expensive things. This chick goes and registers half of her gifts at Tiffany's and Swarovsky! Do I look like I have money to buy YOU a dining set or even glasses at either of those places? In any case I ended up buying her a glass set swiped on my credit card (I refuse to name the amount all I can say is I could have bought a pair of Jimmy Choo's). Now this woman also requested we send the gifts by a certain date to her mother's house as they would not be accepting gifts at the church or reception.

In any case the wedding did not go ahead so I called her to ask for my gift back and she point blank refuses saying it was given as a gift. I told her yes that it was given as a gift ...a wedding gift...her ass was not married was she? Because she did not have a bleeding wedding. Meanwhile back at the ranch...Ru has already returned all his gifts back with a note of apology and an invitation to his house for dinner. Anyway rather than fighting with Audrey I took Black with me and went to her mother's house to collect my gift and while I was there collected two other friends gifts who had also called to get their gifts back. Her own mother said that she was not telling her daughter that she was returning the gifts because she was too materialistic and would not return those gifts on her own.

Anyway knowing that she was in the wrong Audrey starts talking a whole bunch of nonsense at a party that Black and I were both at about how I and those friends who had gone to get their gifts back had stole her wedding gifts. I confronted her and told her that if she thought a crime of theft had occurred she should contact the police rather than spreading rumours about people. I also told her stupid ass I would sue her for slander because we were at a party where not only Black had clients but I had people who I worked with there and would not stand for my character to be assassinated.

My question to blogville what is wedding etiquette when it comes to gifts and weddings that either don't go ahead or end so soon after the celebration. May I also point out I unlike a lot of other people did not ask her for the return of the engagement gift she received from me last year.

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Sex with an Ex  

Thursday, 29 January 2009

I hate Thursdays....... Ok, i hate every week day i have to come to work even though i love my job, is that weird???????? I got in to work early today because it's freaking awards season in hollywood and thats our busiest times even though i never get to go to the stupid awards........ gosh i work my big ass off and my boss cant even slip me a ticket to the Grammys or something... Wishes!!!!!
Anyway in retaliation, its 10:40am and im going to use company time to blog......
I have been a follower of sex with an ex and i can boldly tell you it has not brought me any good. So im going to lay it down for anybody who is in such situation, DESIST!!! I have read many articles and talked about it with my friends. I hope after you read the extract below, you will learn that the only bad thing besides being dumped is to have sex with your ex

Sex with the ex is a topic that we could discuss for ages. We know that it’s destructive, and yet we imbibe in it anyway. It’s a train wreck waiting to happen and yet we can’t help ourselves. You feel that you are mature, and you can handle post relationship sex. You promise yourself that you won’t get all caught up and get your emotions entangled in it, even though you know that you will anyway.For some, sex with the ex is mainly used to hold on to him in a vain attempt that he might come to his senses and decide to work on the relationship versus bailing out. We do this to try and salvage the relationship, or what little is left of it. You have to keep in mind that using sex to control and have ties to him is kind of like a small bandaid over a huge gash. The bandaid won’t hold, and blood will pour out anyway. Conversely, the sex isn’t going to be enough to hold together a failing/failed relationship. It is human nature to want to hang on, and I don’t blame you, but you have to learn to let go. That is the only way you can ever move on.Perhaps you two have awesome chemistry, and he is the best lover you have ever had. That doesn’t mean however, that he is going to be the best lover you will EVER have. Stop limiting yourself. You just have to be willing, ready and able in your next relationship/fling to unleash your inner vixen. It’s all uphill from there! By staying with him, and having sex with him, you are actually limiting your horizons and your potential. It’s already been established that he is a loser…so why don’t you just try and move on to bigger and better things instead of hanging around the biggest loser?

You might have just fallen into becoming his booty call as a natural transition. You acknowledge that the relationship is dunzo, but there is no one else to have sex with, and you are petrified of a dry spell. He already knows your likes and dislikes and you don’t want to go through the trouble of re-training another dick guy. Get. Over. It. Life is not all about sex. A few weeks without getting any wouldn’t kill you. However, if you feel that it will, my suggestion is to head to your nearest XXX store and invest in the Rabbit (i love me the rabbits) and good batteries. Although not a permanent solution, it will help you over the hump, and keep you from falling into bed with him.

You might be from the school of thought that any contact with him is better than no contact at all. But the contact you are having with him could wind up hurting you a lot more than if you had just made a clean break. For starters, the sex isn’t the same, and he is still a free agent. Do you want him to get his way, have his cake and eat it too? If he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, then he doesn’t deserve you…in any capacity. Not as a friend, and definitely not as a booty call. Capishe?

Stop being a pansy and make a clean break. Stop taking his calls, his text messages and his idiotic attempts to get back in your good graces. You are done, over, kaput ~ recognize it and move on. Although it’s hard, you have to associate him for the time being as your enemy, and cut him off completely. That way, you can move through the stages of loss and achieve closure

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Bond Girl not married one guessed pregnancy?  

Thursday, 22 January 2009

The shoes....the shoes....and again...the shoes...if he's really sorry...LOL

I can settle for Chanel...Chanel on sale but Chanel still more!

Before you all get up in arms about my disappearance blame Black peoples. Shona and Nefertiti stop rolling your was his fault...Temite seriously it was his fault. Why am I trying to prove to you people? I can see Sirius, Toluwa, Danny and even Buttercup just shaking their heads like whatever...So I didn't get married, nor was I in DC which hurts me more than you will ever know! I'm surprised no one said pregnancy K? Thanks for stepping in for me I refuse to tell people how we know each other then I know someone one day will stumble upon this and immediately know who CG, Black and me are.

But seriously I have missed you all! I went on holidays and normally holidays means unlimited blog time but this time around Black BANNED me from facebook and blogging. I was only allowed to access my emails once a day which is hard when you have a blackberry peoples but I had to restrain myself because Black threatened to take that away from me as well. He was all up in arms about a tiny incident after new years. I fainted three times. Once when we were at dinner in a very nice restaurant along the pier. I was mortified because I had worn a very sexy black LBD that CG had got for me for Xmas and had chosen to forgo underwear (I would like to say this was for the aesthetic of the dress but really it was about easy access...*cheeky grin*. Second time at my mothers and third at the after Xmas sales. Anyway Mr-over protective-you might-be ill-lets call 911, forced me to see the doctor the next day who just said it's because of stress, not eating properly blah blah. My mother also tagged along because she said "It might be serious" which in African mother speak is code for "you might be pregnant and I don't trust you to tell me". I tell you I was praying like I have never prayed in my life because unbeknown to Black and my mother my monthly visitor had failed to arrive for at least 2 months prior even though reservations were made (reservations= back pain,pms, cramps, tenderness...sorry overload!)

Anyway I was found to be seriously stressed, a little burnt out emotionally and just fatigued. Black felt so guilty because my doctor who has been my doctor since my family moved here asked "Is there anything that you were worried about in the last few months?". My mother was looking quizzically at me like "yes tell us now" and poor Black's face was so guilty. My poor baby! I did tell him though that the Teni thing, work, having my sisters around, my bad eating habits ALL contributed it wasn't just the Teni issue on its own. He still didn't believe me though and got me drum roll.....see Chanel bag picture (people calm yourselves on sale at some silly price, I still couldn't afford it at the sale price but some people make more money than me!)...yep...he bought it as an I'm sorry for not listening to you gift. Now see the picture of the shoes? I tried to push for those as well to see how sorry he really was but he claimed his bank balance was not THAT sorry. Lmao. For now I could only take a picture of the shoes. You should have seen the snooty sales clerk, she came up to me, looked me up and down, smiled at Black and said to him even though I was standing in front of him all 5'5 OF ME.. "Excuse me sir, may you please inform the lady we do not allow pictures to be taken of our merchandise at this establishment". I looked her up and down, side stepped her, snapped the picture and brushed past her as I walked out with Black shaking his head. What was she going to do? I WISH she would have stopped me! I swear those ladies at Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Burberry. You name any high class store in Melbourne where they have security guards at the door the sales girls think they are the second coming of Mary. I'm like please chick we catch the same train after work. I see you on platform one waiting for the 5.25pm express like everyone else, you don't roll in a phantom so please act the way your salary and position demands when anybody comes into the store....with courtesy. You can be as rude to me as you like when you own the store or when you are making millions and are only filling in as a volunteer!

Anyway the big news of 2009 besides President Obama and Michelle, Buttercup and Chari (CG told me about that and I was like what! I told CG though if we were still single we might follow suit..hahaha,just jokes. Strictly dickly over here.). Ok back to the news Teni is dating jack Black's shady friend Jack!!! Black went to dinner with Jack to reconcile (I opted to stay home rather than be there sending out negative vibes). Apparently they met at some Xmas office party and hit it off. The world is coming to an end I tell you. Hide the knives Melbourne if this precious couple come to your dinner parties. Those are two unstable people who need therapy before entering relationships with like minded crazy people. I heard a rumour a long while back that Jack beats his girlfriends but if he thinks he is going to beat Teni its going to go down like that scene in the Colour Purple, where Whoopi Goldberg's character advises the guy who plays Oprah's husband to beat her to keep her in line and the guy ends up getting beat down and Oprah goes back defiant with a black eye to Whoopi and says "You told Harpo to beat me"....LOL classic moment and can see it happening with Jack and Teni. Anyway La familia its so good to be back, I've missed all of you....till next time

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Missed me? City girl in the building!!!!!!!!!  

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

I feel really special....... the whole SOS appeal thing.... I am great, BG is fine, or so i think! i kid, she's great. Ive been really busy, and guess what?????????? im in Washington!!!!!!!!!! gonna be part of history!!!!!! this is going to be a brief post cuz im on my way to shake my booty with the girls in one of DC's hottest clubs.
Thanks to K for holding this place down. we need to meet, wanna come to NY, or should i make my procrastinated Melbourne trip?????? Don't mind her, i didnt sound so serious on the phone. Im really sweet, i pinky swear! lol..

How r u guys doing here? Nothing exciting has been happening with me, oh yea the new doorman in my apt buiding apparently has a crush on me. I think, or how do i explain his hostility to my male visitors, especially boyfie. Last week, he came to my door and asked if i needed help on anything. i thought that was really random.
I have decided to run the marathon next year so i am starting training as soon as i get back to NY on thursday. Going to hit the gym like there's no tomorrow.
Whats new with you guys????? i need to do my blog rounds. I always read your blogs, i just never comment, but now ive suddenly become opinionated so y'all r going to be hearing from me.
On another major issue......... Guess what Boyfie said over the weekend...........wait for it........... we should move in together!!!!! Ha! Help! This dude is going to fast for me. I am beginning to suspect. As a commitment-phobe like me, im starting to get cold feet!!!

I have to go now... and yea i look so hot in my LBD.... wished i could take a pic..........there r so many fine brothas here this week, all for Obama... if ur looking for husband, come to DC asap......its like they released men from some male heaven or something...

Take care and i'd sure to say hi to usher tonight cuz a lil' bird says i may be partying with him... keyword being may............xoxo

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Erm... S.O.S ..City Girl and Bond Girl...where art thou??  

Monday, 19 January 2009

Ok so Bond Girl I got a bit ahead of myself when you asked me to manage your blog while you were away. I wished everyone happy new year and all that jazz on you guys behalf but never bothered to ask where you guys were going.... I was well chuffed you asked me and forgot to ask about the details.

When our paths crossed because you and I were blogging in the lunch room that day I did learn that you are big on privacy and mystery... but this is one where even I am baffled. All the girls on my level the little gossipers they are keep asking "where has BG taken Black? No eye candy during lunch punishes the rest of us" LMAO

Now City Girl I don't know you too well and have only spoken on the phone with you a few times and even now its hard to get a hold of you...but you also are a girl of privacy and mystery (To be honest when you called the other day to ask when I was updating the blog you kind of scared me...I felt like saying yes mam" lol

Bond girl I visited your bar... Bond Bar, Red Velvet and even traveled the hour to to 4125 and you were not to be seen. Even Clement the french bar guy who always mixes your drinks no matter how busy it is asked me where you were and he NEVER speaks to me....LOL ....AND Black is not around either because I got about 4 or 5 emails from the girls on his floor who miss their Starbucks and Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the morning that he used to bring them. Poor children look like they are going through caffeine and sugar withdrawals when I see them going into the building. So I suspect you are together right?

Wherever you are I hope you are at least reading blogs because here are the rumours circulating round Sin City aka Melbrizzy about where you could possibly be....

A) you have eloped and are on an exclusive extended honeymoon
B) After being away from each other over the xmas period you have been "catching up" and have lost all sense of time
C)You are in the States with City Girl....reunion??
D) This one was from Black's secretary....that you have gone to DC to watch Barack get his crown because of the way you love that man it seems impossible you would be in Australia (I think she's lying and knows where you guys are though)
E)You both have some serious time off and are keeping a seriously low profile

So guys where could the sexy and sassy Bond Girl and her V. hot man Black be? I know City Girl is probably in her office working like a slave....

Put us out of our misery and come back.... Eish china by the way I saw your cousin and her connections...they running around Bond Bar like they are celebrities and own it.... God help us bringing the classiness of the place down I tells ya....some of her girls are just GWASH to the nth degree (naija peeps GWASH= RAZZ)

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New Blog member, New Year.....will be back soon...  

Saturday, 10 January 2009

Happy New Year to all...still on a break but introducing fellow blogger K... as a guest this year...welcome on board family! She will sometimes be answering some of our comments and stuff this year as City Girl and I are a bit busy... will update soon peoples but wishing you all happy new year if K has not done so on our behalf!

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Happy New year and all the good stuff  

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Sorry ive been, life, sex, men have all been stressful. Hope you guys had a great hoilday. I sure did! Thanx ShonaVixen for checking up on us. I enjoyed teasing Bond Girl's man endlessly on when he will bring out a lil'box from Tiffany..... the best for my girl and hey, im not saying he's gonna propose soon BG........dont get all excited...lmao

The ex is still lurking around, God help me! (not my ex, refer to my last post). She seems to be hanging out at every bar i go with boyfie. Two days before Christmas, guess who walked up to me at Macys? yep, the evil Ex........ she saw BG's man with me and she had the look of, oh! she's cheating and ive caught her...... I was not wrong! Boyfie called me like 10mins after i saw her and couldnt stop laughing. he said im cheating on him with a guy who could only afford to take me to macys..... lol! Of course he knew i was with Black....... Please beg this girl to leave me alone. I hate drama!!!

I met the in-laws...... how frightening. Christmas dinner was at their place and i was so scared of meeting them cuz he's their only son and his mother loves him so much. It went well. I got them presents, took a home baked chocolate cake (which i proudly made) and we had so much fun. His sisters love me and his mum has not stopped calling me since then. Halleluyah! im in.......

Other than that, my life's been dry. My sex life's going great, sorry BG, i had to add that........ at least he got back in time for New years! my phone's at peace... horny children!!!
Work's has crazy as ever with interns coming in from Fashion Institute: spoilt kids who think they know everything. I am actually fond of the girl that was posted to me. She reminds me of me when i was 19........ ambitious, flirty and determined. Speaking of interns, there's one that keeps flirty with me. he's 20 and Puerto rican. Gosh he's cute!!!! my personal eye candy at work!

How did your holidays go?

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