Bond Girls lessons in Wedding Etiquette...  

Sunday, 1 February 2009

One of my female friends Audrey got engaged last year to her boyfriend of 5 years and they were supposed to be joined in marital bliss this past Saturday. Alas they canceled the wedding two weeks ago. The story goes that Audrey refused to down size the wedding even though her Fiancee Rueben could no longer afford half of her extravagant demands. I was actually quite touched (slang=hurt) that Ru as I call him was denying his bride the day of her dreams until I heard the requests. So he could no longer afford to transport the bridal party and V.I.P guests in chauffeur driven Rolls Royce and instead had organised the bridal party to ride in HIS 300C Chyrsler and the V.I.P driven in his friends assorted luxury cars (all black). Instead of having the Park Hyatt Hotel cater he wanted to get his client's brothers catering company which serves to exclusive clients anyway for a lesser price. Furthermore instead of his guest each getting an inscribed watch for the men and bracelets for the women he organised a free weekend spa for the ladies and grand prix tickets for the men again via the courtesy of his client's. The things that remained the same were the number of people invited, the dress (although he got his suit at discount), the number of brides maids and grooms men.

Audrey aka bridezilla called me moaning and crying that her wedding was not going to be the same blah blah blah. I'm sorry but I had no sympathy for her people. Ru could have postponed the wedding all together because of the financial climate we are in and instead he decided to use his connections to get a cost effective wedding and HER issue is she can't claim her wedding was the most expensive amongst all her friends? My other issue with this women was that she had a wedding register now unlike your normal register this woman organised her wedding register to have a his and hers thing. The ladies had to buy gifts for her and the male guests had to buy gifts for the groom. Now I looked at Ru's register and was envious of Black because Ru was not asking for expensive things. This chick goes and registers half of her gifts at Tiffany's and Swarovsky! Do I look like I have money to buy YOU a dining set or even glasses at either of those places? In any case I ended up buying her a glass set swiped on my credit card (I refuse to name the amount all I can say is I could have bought a pair of Jimmy Choo's). Now this woman also requested we send the gifts by a certain date to her mother's house as they would not be accepting gifts at the church or reception.

In any case the wedding did not go ahead so I called her to ask for my gift back and she point blank refuses saying it was given as a gift. I told her yes that it was given as a gift ...a wedding gift...her ass was not married was she? Because she did not have a bleeding wedding. Meanwhile back at the ranch...Ru has already returned all his gifts back with a note of apology and an invitation to his house for dinner. Anyway rather than fighting with Audrey I took Black with me and went to her mother's house to collect my gift and while I was there collected two other friends gifts who had also called to get their gifts back. Her own mother said that she was not telling her daughter that she was returning the gifts because she was too materialistic and would not return those gifts on her own.

Anyway knowing that she was in the wrong Audrey starts talking a whole bunch of nonsense at a party that Black and I were both at about how I and those friends who had gone to get their gifts back had stole her wedding gifts. I confronted her and told her that if she thought a crime of theft had occurred she should contact the police rather than spreading rumours about people. I also told her stupid ass I would sue her for slander because we were at a party where not only Black had clients but I had people who I worked with there and would not stand for my character to be assassinated.

My question to blogville what is wedding etiquette when it comes to gifts and weddings that either don't go ahead or end so soon after the celebration. May I also point out I unlike a lot of other people did not ask her for the return of the engagement gift she received from me last year.

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18 comments: to “ Bond Girls lessons in Wedding Etiquette...

  • Tigeress
    3 February 2009 at 09:23  

    lol!! Thats so funny. Can't believe that there are really girls like this. I hope Ru has stepped cos this kind of wife will only ruin him.

    And how old is she? like 22?!!! Babe needs to grow up.

  • Tigeress
    3 February 2009 at 09:24  

    oohhh, i'm first!!!! hehehehe

  • ~Sirius~
    3 February 2009 at 09:42  

    Nooooooooooo Waaaaaay!
    Is her List for real?????
    Is she even considerate!
    Big day my foot!

    So glad you got your gift back....Please return to the store sharp sharp, I'd rather you pay for a pair of Choo's instead!

    Imagine!..........Your lady friend has me all boiled up, displaying over dinner like that, Mschew!!! I hope Ru does something smart before it's too late.

  • bumight
    3 February 2009 at 09:58  

    do people like that seriously exist in real life?

    to ur question:
    1. if a wedding ends soon after the celebration, the gift is theirs
    2. if the wedding didnt take place, for reasons like someone got in an accident..., they can keep the gift.
    3. if it ends cos of some selfish materialistic bridezilla, MY GIFT IS COMING HOME TO MAMA, THANK YOU!

  • Funms-the rebirth
    3 February 2009 at 10:10  

    lmao.......... it sounds evil but im glad the wedding was cancelled. haba, her own is even too much sef and she even had d audacity not to want to give u the gifts back..... thief!!!!
    btw how did they survive dating, cuz that guy must have tried o....

  • ShonaVixen
    3 February 2009 at 17:18  

    Tigeress come on now!!!
    Ok, so now what the heck!!!Her demands were just ridiculous and I'm so glad it was cancelled..I mean she let the idea of of it all get to her head, yes the wedding should be your day BUT wtf!!...once more how old is this kid??

  • Danny Bagucci
    3 February 2009 at 18:11  

    Did the right thing methinks.. I mean if you'd left the gift with her, wouldn't she have been expecting another gift for when the real thing finally happened? lol.....

    Erm by the way -- Did the dude need any advise to do a Great North Run?

  • Nefertiti
    3 February 2009 at 18:36  

    Huh? and she had the nerve to bitch and moan? She deserves a good as slap across the face. First for being a big ol brat, and second for having the nerve to claim to have been robbed of her gifts.

    Utter foolishness!

    Me I don't know about wedding etiquette o, as I am a very 'razz' naija chic. I will however buy u wot's on ur registry if it makes sense. No tiffany's or swaro... woreva that thing is called. Not happening. Tiff oshi!

  • Buttercup
    4 February 2009 at 15:53 too stunned for words..

  • MPB
    4 February 2009 at 16:32  

    All I can think is: So how again are girls like this engaged, while I am single? BTW, love y'alls blog!

  • Temite
    4 February 2009 at 23:43  

    ok so my question darling Bondy is where on earth do you find bitches like this men. Is Australia just teeming with stupid ass idiotic childish thieving tripping daughters of bitches men? Seriously first teni and then aubrey or wahtchumancallit. Well take your shit back men. I would.

    6 February 2009 at 11:45  

    wow! I would think you shouldn't give the gift to her. Just return it, unless there is some indication that the wedding will be rescheduled soon.


  • Afrobabe
    7 February 2009 at 05:00  

    OMG She still has mouth to talk after her wedding was called off?? As a true naija girl I would have gone into hiding for a while first...all gifts returned in my absense..

    hmmm good to know I will be getting that kind of gift from you when I get married...

    Kisses in advance...

  • Afrobabe
    7 February 2009 at 05:01  

    And that cartoon captured the girl to a T...

  • FFF
    7 February 2009 at 11:31  

    daz just crazy!!! really, how did d dude manage 2 stay wit her 4 five years!!!!!!!!! or was it d wedding dat brought out her true colours?

  • ~Sirius~
    8 February 2009 at 01:50  

    there's a crazzzzy fire outbreak, I hope it's no where near you.........and I HOPE YOU ARE OK!!!!!

  • mike
    9 February 2009 at 02:11  

    na real wa. in this times. this kind of story still happens. God has to intervene in some lives!!!

  • Bondgirl
    12 February 2009 at 05:29  

    @ Everyone....Audrey is serious people O. Crazy serious...she does not make sense in her own life!


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