A night out: Bond Girl Vs Teni......Round 1  

Saturday, 29 November 2008

Alcohol truly is the truth serum that loosens tongues and the Margaritas at Teni's birthday gave her some false Dutch courage. I was rather taken aback at the blunt question she threw at me so much so I had to lean forward and ask her to repeat it lest I had heard wrong. So steadying herself against the bar she shouted in my ear asking, " So how good do you fcuk then? Do you put your legs behind your ears? Dutty wine on his D*ck? Because I am trying to find out how he stays loyal to you. You are not in his league". I raised my eyebrows at her boldness. I almost walked off because I was so insulted and could feel my hand itching to let the glass of Margarita in her face...but its the credit crunch no need to waste good alcohol on ignorant family members. I am not ugly nor am I fat but its just that Black's quite good looking people expect him to date someone flawless with an eating disorder....like Teni's skinny ass. Instead I replied "I don't know Teni I guess its the moves been fcuking for awhile now...I'm so good at perfecting my craft the karma sutra guidelines reference my shit". Her mouth dropped open, I am generally not crass nor am I outwardly rude unless you cross me then you see that the flames were in my belly the whole time all I needed was some dry wood to be thrown at me to start a fire.

I left her standing at the bar to go join Black at one of the little bar tables the club had. When I got there he saw that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I really wanted to tell him that the way Teni had dismissed the reality of our relationship by stating it was about sex was really bugging me. I wanted to tell him that even though I looked damn good in my dark green chiffon grecian style dress, with bare back and gold accessories and high heels her constant touchy feely nature towards Black and her attempts at shutting me out were grating on my nerves. However I just shook my head, told him I was fine and looked for the waiter to order another margarita. If you have too many things to think about stop thinking start drinking! An hour later I went to the bathroom and when I was coming out there I see Black and Teni arguing. Well she was crying, looking like a drunk mess and he looked majorly unimpressed. When he saw me, he left her and walked over to me and asked "Can we go now?". I nodded and looked over his shoulder at Teni who was looking at us intently like she was waiting for something. I looked at Black and asked him "First, whats going on with you and Teni?". He shook his head and said, "Babe lets not get into this now, just lets go. She's had a lot to drink so let her sober up, you sober up and we can hash it out tomorrow". Then he tried to usher me towards the door. I firmly refused to budge and raised an eyebrow quizzically "I am not going anywhere and there is no need to usher me towards the door. Whats going on?". Black sighed, you know one of those "I might as well tell her but ish is about to hit the roof and I aint finna deal with people's ish tonight" sigh.

"I asked her what she said to you. She told me. I asked why she would say some dumb ish like that and then she told me because you are not right for me. Then she said she was right for me and was available any time I decided I got tired of being the good stand by BG through everything kind of guy".Now bloggers like I said I am not a dramatic child,other people are dramatic and then they bring their drama to my circle but I am not mad at them because its people like Teni that encouraged me to start blogging. So that I could share the WTF moments I have nearly every week of my life with people who are unbiased. When I looked over Black's shoulder Teni was no longer to be seen and Black was blocking me, I msssscheeeeewed him and nearly lapsed into my mother tongue, instead I settled for a healthy tirade, " Iwe, lets just get out of here. I don't want to speak to her, I don't want to see her. she has her own damn man, who happens to be roaming around here so what she wants mine? Why? I know there is a man shortage around but there is no need to start poaching. Thats the ish that gets you shot! As for you Black you are too damn nice to the bitch. No wonder she thinks she's in with a chance".

The minute I said it I regretted it but you know when things are said in the heat of the moment you can't take them back because they run away so fast from you. All you are left holding is hindsight and an a possible apology. "Sorry" I whispered and started walking out of the club. The alcohol started to hit me the minute I went outside. The warm summer breeze cooled my skin but did not do the same for my temper. It was a very quiet ride home in the early hours of Saturday morning and for the first time Black and I slept in the same bed without having sex. The next night I thought it would be the same until about 2am he reached for me and we had a good make up session.

Now my dilemma lies in telling my man that I am not comfortable with him talking or even seeing Teni who I know has put herself out there on the platter to be sampled. I have never been a jealous girl but all of a sudden the arrival of Teni has me seeing flames. I have never been one of those girls that would ban her man from hanging or talking to certain girls but its like now I get it. If you knew a girl was actively chasing your man or had offered herself to your man do you trust your man not to stray or do you submit to your fears and insecurities and try to put barriers to stop any form of contact between the two? So I sit here thinking that City Girl had been right to tell me to confront Teni and see where her head was at. I believe her exact words were "Sometimes when someone shows you what sort of person they are....you should take their word for it and believe them".

Tell me your suggestions people! till next time.....

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Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Thank you for your support and advice........... BG, i love u so much........
I think i was just really shocked cuz i never saw it coming... Oh well!
Last weekend was boyfriend's birthday and i think i just maxed out a credit card.. How do u even know whats the best gift to buy a guy? We've not been dating for long so i am not too sure of what he would have liked. Anyway, got him alot of Video games, a pair of Prada Slippers and a Tissot wrist watch....... and they all came with gift receipts, so he can return them if he wants. We had a great weekend though. I made him a special dinner in my Victoria's secret baby doll. Dont even try to imagine what was for dessert.

I was having a conversation with a friend at work and she was complaining about this ass clown she was dating. He treats her badly and hurts her all the time, the only good thing about him is the sex..... She's been trying to get out of the relationship but cant seem to. I came across some ideas for her and i decided to share it here cuz ive been in such relationships before.....
This post is for all of you ladies that can’t walk away from the sex….

Dick-motosis occurs when a woman is with a guy that sucks in almost every single respect except one: he gives her really good sex. A woman that is dickmotised is in essence, hynotised so much by his good loving that she chooses to overlook or forgive all his other more glaring annoying qualities.
It’s so easy to get dickmotised and yet so hard to get out of. Most stories that I’ve heard of with women sticking for years with men that aren’t good for them are because they are hopelessly hypnotized by his. They put up with all the bull shit out and drama out of bed, because the off the chains sex has got them all weak that they can’t think straight. Their friends are telling them to wake up and snap out of it—but they can’t, they’ve become junkies or c*ckaholics…

So how do your get out of Dickmotosis?

1. Quit Cold Turkey.

Like any bad habit, trying to wean yourself off slowly can take weeks or months. To get out of the dickmotosis, you have to quit him altogether. Break it off, stop taking his calls, his texts and emails.

2. Buy a Vibrator.

An honest to goodness, premium vibrator like the Wanichi Vibe or Hitachi Magic Wand. Get a replacement, albeit an electronic one and start using it to wean yourself off his d*ck. If you are used to getting one or two orgasms from him daily—give yourself 5 in the morning, 2 for lunch and another 2 at night. This will enable you to stop craving his d*ck so much. The vibrator is just like Nicorette for smokers; a substitute to get you through the hard times when you wanna break down and give in to his smooth charms. When you are craving him, zap yourself up with your Electronic Boyfriend.

3. Get a Support Group.

Most girls already have a built in support group in their friends. So tell them you are trying to break yourself of the bad habit of jumping to him whenever Mr. Good Dick crooks his finger at you. That way when you feel yourself breaking, give one of them a ring instead of calling him. They will also help you through the rocky break up patch and give you an emotional lift when you are feeling down.

4. Take a Breather.

Once you get clean from him, don’t be so quick to jump into another dickmotized situation. Sure, sex is great and all, but you don’t want to replace one addiction with another. Learn some new hobbies, travel, join a cause or volunteer. Do something and anything to fill your hours with exciting and great experiences that don’t evolve around sex.

5. Become a Dick Slayer.

This is the final part of the journey. After taking time to learn more about yourself and what pleasures you, you can take steps to learn more about sex and all it’s wild horizons. Flex your Kegels, take a sensuality class, (or even a stripping class). Embrace your sexuality and stop being the recipient; turn yourself into the giver. Take hold of the reins, ride dirty and be the wild, bad girl you were destined to be. That way it will be hard to get dickmotised again, because he’ll be laid out with all the good lovin’ you’ve laid down on him.

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Bond Girl....and her 1/4 Jealousy  

Thursday, 20 November 2008

The last two weeks have seen some things. Barrack Obama was elected the 44th President of the U.S.A. City Girl found out her baby brother had secrets. I found a job with a good law firm finally. My boyfriend Black and I agreed to keep our relationship quiet for a bit. Now keeping our relationship quiet is something I started to regret 4 hours after agreeing to it. I didn't regret it when my mum called asking to see where I had been. I didn't even think about telling my twin sisters when they called about visiting on the weekend. My brother already knows but he is sworn to secrecy. City Girl is my best friend and she knows my monthly cycle so its a given that she needs to know so no regret there. The rest of my family members are scattered world wide and if they do live in the country they along with my parents are not even aware that Black and I even talk. No, I started regretting my decision right about the time my cousin Tenielle popped on to the scene. Teni is gorgeous. Not in your "oh do you know Teni from next door/down the street" kind of gorgeous. Teni is gorgeous in your "she just looks like Tyra Banks but prettier" sort of way. Growing up we used to call her QUARTER because she is a 1/4 black zambian, 1/4 white zambian, 1/4 latina, 1/4 Hawaiian.

Back in the day she was also friends with Black and in fact most people thought they would date and were quite surprised when he asked me out. It was like Boris Kodjoe asking out a regular girl when he he hangs out with Gabrielle Union. Now I am not saying that I am not cute but what I am saying is that I know that in the beautiful stakes I know I would be in the race as an under dog but I also know my ass would be fortunate to beat the top seed. So anyway there I was chilling with my man, a glass of wine, listening to some neo soul on a rainy Wednesday evening after a hard first day at work when he starts receiving texts like it was an Olympic event. Now I don't normally question men about what texts they get or phone calls they receive BUT this is Black, this is my man so I after the fifth text I simply say " That person must really have a lot of credit, why don't they call you?" To which my man replies casually, "Oh its Teni, she just wants to know where I am because she wanted to come over but because we are not telling people whats up with us at the moment I am just trying to stop her from dropping by." I swear I broke out into a sweat because I was wondering what in the hell she wanted to drop by for at 11.30pm on a weekday. I knew what I was doing there at 11.30pm and it was not just to drop by. Anyway she ended up ringing him anyway to "chat" and an hour later as I lay in bed waiting for my man I was seriously asking myself "why did I agree to keep it quiet again?" Because ladies need to know that he ain't available to be on the phone giggling with them in the wee hours when he should be here making me....

In any case by the time he came to bed it was 2am and we both needed to wake up at 6am. Needless to say I didn't get any loving putting me in a bad mood. The next day as I walked down trendy Collins Street heading to a cafe for lunch who do I see striding her way down the street just looking as fresh as rain. Teni. I plastered on this fake grin I swear I was channeling Heath Ledger's the joker with that smile. So up she comes to me all sunshine and our conversation went like this:
Teni: Hey Cuz long time no see, whats good with you? Probably busy with work because I know it can't be a man keeping you busy.
(you wonder why I know people in my life that say some messed up ish to me like they dont have any sense)
Me: Ha ha hey Teni, yeah just busy with work, life. You know. whats good with you?
Teni: Oh nothing, I am actually on my way to surprise Black at his office. Did you know he was back? I just need to invite him to my birthday party this Friday. I would invite you but you never pitch to these things and besides every one needs a date and I spoke to your mum the other day and she said you were still single.
(Reminder to self to tell my mother that my love life is not a general knowledge fact sheet she should be sharing with family and random people now!)
Me: (FAKE GRIN SPREADS WIDER)....Thats fine probably busy this Friday anyway, have to go on the clock. I had heard he was back but say hi anyway.

As I stalked away from her I swear I was probably leaving smoke behind me because I was pissed. When I got home that afternoon and found Black in my kitchen making us dinner my first question was " Had a nice lunch with Teni did you?". Now Black he just smiled that "I want to take your clothes off smile" because he finds it a turn on when I am jealous because I rarely am. "you jealous baby?" he asked me making his way towards me all slowly and shit. I started to back up, "Let me make this clear, I am a 1/4 jealous...do you hear me..a 1/4 jealous?". He obviously thought it was funny because he was laughing at me within seconds, "Baby" he said "On the table is an invite to Teni's birthday this Friday. In your bedroom is a dress I bought for the occasion at lunch which you can wear with those sexy shoes you have been meaning to wear. On Friday you will be my date...don't stress yourself...besides Teni has a man". Its hard to stay mad when your man does something good, even harder when you know you are going to wipe the smile off your cousins face....I wasn't a 1/4 jealous anymore but aint jealousy a bitch???

P.S Praying for City girl during this time...baby girl life will show you fire at times but its a good thing that God is your firefighter.

Till next time peoples...

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In a Confused state of mind  

Friday, 7 November 2008

Times square was hyper tuesday night.... i voted and it counted! Go Obama. im so happy and emotional. Another issue is driving me crazy and here goes it:

"Dinner at River cafe, 8pm tomorrow night...... come looking really attractive please" read the text i sent to him. Baby bro moved to NYC in June after living in Florida for over six years and i had been trying to hook him up with the many girls that always oohed and aahed when they met him. He's very good looking, no doubt but he worried me that he had never introduced me to any special girl. Boyfriend suggested i introduced him to Andrea (anorexic girl) and hopefully sparks would fly, hence the text i sent on Monday. My mum had been questioning me on who he was seeing or random dates at least, u know mothers!
On Tuesday, I asked Andrea to have dinner with Boyfie and i. Trust home girl to dress really hot. My brother actually showed up, thank God and he seemed he was into her. They talked through dinner and i felt like i did a good job. Andrea was ecstatic at work the next day. She said they made plans for another date. woohoo! baby bro was dating.

Here comes the shocking news, im still numb! I went to 40/40 with boyfie and some of his friends and their girlfriends, u know we did the whole clan thing. I had never met any of the girls before and they all seemed nice, but professional, boring investment people. We started drinking and dancing. It was a blast. I love 40/40 cuz the dj is just too tight. He used to have the hots for one of my friends tho so i could go up to him and request a song. I asked him to play Beyonce's single ladies and boyfie was taunting me, asking if i thought i was single....lol...
Around 1:14am, i remember the time..... who walks in, Baby bro and i was excitedly drunk and wanted to shout across to him. I was stopped in my tracks with the sight in front of me. he had his hands round some dude and they looked too cozy for comfort. I was dazed and dizzy. The next minute, he had his tongue in his throat..... wtf???????????? Every part of me wanted to jump him and punch the living shit out of both of them, but calm boyfie stopped me. He said there may be an explanation. We left the club immediately and he never saw me.
I am confused, should i confront him? what about Andrea, my mother, me? al the people who r getting hurt? Is my little brother who was the worst 16yr old player with girls now gay? Wake me up from this nightmare.......... Im not homophobic but i dont want a gay brother........... SHould i talk to him? or what?????????????

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