In a Confused state of mind
Friday, 7 November 2008
Times square was hyper tuesday night.... i voted and it counted! Go Obama. im so happy and emotional. Another issue is driving me crazy and here goes it:
"Dinner at River cafe, 8pm tomorrow night...... come looking really attractive please" read the text i sent to him. Baby bro moved to NYC in June after living in Florida for over six years and i had been trying to hook him up with the many girls that always oohed and aahed when they met him. He's very good looking, no doubt but he worried me that he had never introduced me to any special girl. Boyfriend suggested i introduced him to Andrea (anorexic girl) and hopefully sparks would fly, hence the text i sent on Monday. My mum had been questioning me on who he was seeing or random dates at least, u know mothers!
On Tuesday, I asked Andrea to have dinner with Boyfie and i. Trust home girl to dress really hot. My brother actually showed up, thank God and he seemed he was into her. They talked through dinner and i felt like i did a good job. Andrea was ecstatic at work the next day. She said they made plans for another date. woohoo! baby bro was dating.
Here comes the shocking news, im still numb! I went to 40/40 with boyfie and some of his friends and their girlfriends, u know we did the whole clan thing. I had never met any of the girls before and they all seemed nice, but professional, boring investment people. We started drinking and dancing. It was a blast. I love 40/40 cuz the dj is just too tight. He used to have the hots for one of my friends tho so i could go up to him and request a song. I asked him to play Beyonce's single ladies and boyfie was taunting me, asking if i thought i was single....lol...
Around 1:14am, i remember the time..... who walks in, Baby bro and i was excitedly drunk and wanted to shout across to him. I was stopped in my tracks with the sight in front of me. he had his hands round some dude and they looked too cozy for comfort. I was dazed and dizzy. The next minute, he had his tongue in his throat..... wtf???????????? Every part of me wanted to jump him and punch the living shit out of both of them, but calm boyfie stopped me. He said there may be an explanation. We left the club immediately and he never saw me.
I am confused, should i confront him? what about Andrea, my mother, me? al the people who r getting hurt? Is my little brother who was the worst 16yr old player with girls now gay? Wake me up from this nightmare.......... Im not homophobic but i dont want a gay brother........... SHould i talk to him? or what?????????????
7 November 2008 at 03:12
Ummm Oh my gosh, dearest, I dont know what to say. I mean your brother has a right to choose who he wants to spend his life with. Maybe he is bisexual....Dont worry too much about Andrea, she is not in love with him (I think) so I dont think she would be devastated at all. If you are comfortable enough to try to set him then you should be comfortable to ask him GENTLY what is going on with him. You are his sister so please be supportive and kind. Imagine if you were going through such a thing how would you like him to respond to it...and errr you dont get to decide what kind of sibling you get so you are going to have to accept it at the end of the day whether or not you like it. Goodluck love.
7 November 2008 at 03:24
aww... i think you should calm down first then confront. wish you all the best
7 November 2008 at 04:28
Maybe you should calm down first. Nothing will be achieved by confronting him in amger he may get defensive.
Then ask him why he has no girlfriend or why he isn't seeing anyone.
just take things easy.
Having a gay brother is better than having no brother at all.
Good luck.
7 November 2008 at 07:07
Babe I am still in shock too. When you called to tell me I was just thinking that this crazy life of ours is getting crazier. Speak to baby bro its the only way you will clear things. He is obviously living in fear and hiding it must be really hard. Black is even more shocked but passes his love and prayers. I wish I was there for you in person. miss you xoxo
7 November 2008 at 11:02
OMD, tell me u made this up to get comments. Tell me u normally wear glasses and didnt bother that particular nite, tell me its ur bro's look-alike. Tell me it just isnt ur younger bro. Cos if that happened to me and i found out my Bruv. a.k.a. Bob was kissing a next dude- i wld be DEVASTED for life! GUTTED!! CRUSHED!!!!
And before all my free minded bloggers jump down my throat- i'm sorry it may be cool for other folks- but not my Bruv. I'm not cool with it. So Bondgirl, if u're totally upset- i understand. But remember blood will always be blood. All becos u don't condole such- doesnt mean u cant continue the bro/sis relationship u guys have. Just let him know how u feel and i'm sure he'd respect you enof not rub that side of him in ur face.
Talk to him- only after u calm down tho.
7 November 2008 at 12:02
Ouch...wldnt want a gay bro either! Speak to him, calmy tho!
Wldnt wanna be in ur shoes ryt now...cos i wldnt know what to say!
7 November 2008 at 12:19
My sister has made crazy decisions that I do not support and my parents esp. my dad are still upset with her till date..shes not a lesbian but I can relate..all in all, he is your brother and you should be his friend.. Even though anything comes out shocking...or ur parents turn away from him, be the one to stand by him. x
7 November 2008 at 12:24
So there I go reading this like it's some kind of soap. I didn't realise it might be true until I read bong girl's comment. I hope for everything sake that he was messing with you, if he isn't however, please keep a tight rein on your emotions or your tongue when addressing him. I know it's hard right now- cry, shout, punch something if you must, but be kind and understanding, however hard that maybe. Let him know how you feel about it, but let him know that you love him, no matter what his decisions are- better yet, show him that you love him still.
I'm praying for you.
7 November 2008 at 15:43
i agree with all those that said calm down first...and then talk to him, hard it is to even think about BUT he is your brother at the end of the day, he's his own person and as much as it might be hard to accept and we mightnt want a gay brother, sometimes the reality of it is totally different. It could be a phase, he could be bi-sexual but you wont know without talking to him, dont attack him, just be his sister and friend!It wont be easy, but all i say is probably him staying in the closet is also hard for him too...all in all just be there for him!!
10 November 2008 at 03:39
.....Oh my goodness........slow down, take deep breaths and.......what the H***! where does one start from?
10 November 2008 at 20:14
...hopefully it was just a dare...
Ok, on the real, they've all given the best advice..calm down n talk to him..he just might open up to u..its probably still early days for andrea n him so it shudnt be hard for her to come to terms with it, if its true(God forbid..)..n IF its true, u shudnt tell ur mum, hes in the best position to do that..
11 November 2008 at 07:40
It's a decision he has made, and at the point at which it comes out, he'll need a friend, as I'm sure enough people will be judging and condemning. Be that to him. Be his friend for now.
13 November 2008 at 10:46
Yes, Dearheart
You should talk to him but only after you've prayed. He's your brother, gay or not he is always your flesh and blood first.
Tell him what you and Boyfriend saw, and then talk with him. He's gonna deny as much as he can, cause he didn't tell you cause he knows how everyone would and is reacting but get stuff out on the table.
You love him and that's the most important thing. It ain't gonna be easy for anyone but remember Gay or not you love him and he loves you.
Mista Jaycee
14 November 2008 at 12:21
OK...that was not the ideal way to find out something like this.
However the shock will subside...and you will calm down. Then talk to him but please just know that he too will be quite apprehensive in this matter. You are his sister and you love him..show him you care. In the mean time big hug xxx
14 November 2008 at 17:49
All along i thought this was just a story you had written, hadnt realised it was actually true.
As devasting as it is before he is gay/homosexual blah blah blah he is your brother, it doesnt change who he is to you or what you mean to him, dont try to change him, no need to understand him just be there for him
18 November 2008 at 20:13
Maybe..he is experimenting with the world. You know kids do that these days.In any case, you might be suprised at how families get closer because of their differences. Life is weird, but dont despair!!
22 November 2008 at 17:22
i don't know what your relationship with your brother is like but the best thing to do would be to talk to him..Not in an accusing way or anything, so you should probably prepare yourself before you talk to him.. and whateveer is goign on, no matter how hard it is you should support him.. it might just be a phase hes going through