Pride and costs more than lilies...  

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

I listened to you all and saw Black's point of view. I finally caved in when I realised that this was a make-up or break-up situation. So I approached Black and we got everything out on the table. CG telling DJ helped A LOT. Thanks babe! However the uneasiness in our relationship had set in. We had hit that relationship wall where the honeymoon was over and the rose tinted glasses had come off.

What I quickly came to realise is that my man is not easy nor is he cheap to win back. I thought parading around in sexy lingerie might get a rise (excuse the pun) and be the end of it...the only thing he did was get up and say he had to work early. Note to self: when Black is really mad sex in whatever form will be ignored. Ouch! Attempt 1 shot down.

2nd attempt: Dinner.... The easiest way through to a man's heart is food right?
I came home early from work and went straight to his apartment. I was wearing the tightest dress, highest heels, cleavage popping and was able to make from scratch and serve up his favourite meal (peanut pumpkin leaves, roast potatoes, beef stew and chocolate mousse). He came home wolfed everything down, kissed me on the flipping forehead, said thank you, took his lap top and a tower of files to his office.

Never say die I say so attempt No.3 was already forming in my head as I washed the dishes: Call outside forces. Yep I called his friends and sisters, if anyone knew where his head was at it was them. His sisters were totally unsympathetic they all said he was pouting, throwing a hissy fit and should be left to his own devices. Another week of half speak, no eye contact, excruciating silence or polite talk and most importantly no sex and kisses on the cheek/forehead were going to kill me. 3 weeks of this and I was already fed up. His friends were no help either they said and I quote "B, I dont know what you did but he is pissed". Which meant that he was still driving down angry boulevard and was still no where near forgiveness avenue.

Attempt No.4
I decided that men when they mess up they send flowers and a card to your job right? So I went to the florist near Black's work and tried to find the appropriate flowers for a man. Do you bloggers know what a full bouquet of lilies cost? It aint cheap that's all I'm saying. I went back to my office and waited by my phone. That was 1pm. At 4.30pm I got an email message saying. "Thanks. Black". Erm WTF??? I was furious and as I went around picking up my things to get out of the office I was swearing under my breath resolved that he was not going to get a 5th attempt. Thanks??

2days pass. No text messages, no phone calls, no emails. Day 3 I was sitting on my bedroom floor @ 11pm drinking a glass of wine, staring at my defunct stripper pole, feeling extremely sad, lonely and incredibly horny. Then I started crying. CRYING PEOPLE. Never cried over a man in my bleeding life and there I was blubbering....I was paralytic with sadness. I crawled into my bed with my box of kleenex and blubbered myself to sleep. I remember waking up, feeling really warm and this heavy thing around me. I looked at the time and it was 3am. Feeling the heaviness surrounding me I realised in my sleep haze it was an arm firmly placed around my mid section. With the light from my phone I checked to see I was not hallucinating. There my baby lay, in all his chocolate goodness. I could have sat there watching him breathe in and out forever if he hadn't opened one eye squinting "Oi for goodness sake go to sleep its late". You know what bloggers snuggled up to my man on a cold Melbourne winters night, the rain pelting the windows and the wind howling I didn't think about sex or who was right or wrong. I just thought how nice it was to have this and how I had missed it. I might be a convert to all this mushy love stuff after all....

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...............and the truth shall set you free, or NOT???????  

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

CG: hey baby, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?

DJ: yea sure, where do u wanna go?

CG: nowhere, i was thinking more like my place, i will cook and u just bring the wine...

DJ: (sounding like he was trying to hold back a giggle) u? cook? really? what do u want from me? or what happened cuz the only time i see u in the kitchen is when you want to get the takeout menus.....

See, i am a really good cook, but i HATE cooking. I dont remember the last time i used my stove. DJ is the cook and he loves it so y bother?
I told him i was in the mood to cook and was going to surprise him, and oh what a surprise he got!
I left work early on monday to go food shopping. I decided to go African and make him pounded yam and vegetable soup, (like my mum's) with all those assorted meat and co. That was one of his fave delicacies and i needed to feed this man in readiness of the talk that was going to take place after.

Let me rewind and tell you what brought this on. I decided to take up my neighbour's persistent invite to their church, yea city girl went to church... thats story for another day, and how i wish i didnt go that sunday. The pastor decided to preach on "Restitution". Out of all the topics talked on in church, this was one i really couldnt stand cuz i dont really understand it. Why go back and restitute when you will only end up hurting more people. The pastor gave examples of blessings we were not receiving cuz we have not restituted our sins. It touched me and i decided to do some restitution of my own, hence the call i made to my boyfriend when i got home from church.

He came over for dinner and ate so much he could barely get up. In our months of dating, i'd only cooked once before monday and he loved it then so i had no worries about him not liking my food. He praised my cooking and asked if i could even make him a pot of the vegetable. Since i knew what was still ahead, i agreed instantly......which took him by surprise cuz he was expecting a hell no! that was the beginning of surprises.
So baby, do u wanna go watch CSI Miami? (his fave tv show), its starting. We moved to the couch and cuddled up. Then i started.......... i found myself spilling the australia semi-fling to him word for word, even the fleeing away scene. The only pauses i took was to take some wine for more courage. When i was done, he said "thats OK. so can we see how Horatio will solve this case"?

Bloggers, i was stunned. He didnt move away from me, he even pulled me closer and continued watching TV. I asked him if he had any questions or comments and he said NO.
That was monday, we have not talked about it again, and his attitude has not changed. Is this the calm before the storm? or has he truly forgiven me cuz all ive been doing since then is apologise. He's told me to stop apologising.
I wish i didnt come clean but all thats keeping me going are:

1. I did it to solve the tension black and BG have going on. Now the truth is out, he doesnt have to feel like hes betraying his friend

2. Restitution sets free

3. I want a honest relationship and i will want DJ to be honest with me too

Now all i am going to do is wait for the storm cuz i really dont think he's ok with his girlfriend semi-cheating on him..... Thats my week so far bloggers, how has yours been?

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Black its not me....its not you...its Us....  

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

I was almost certain that CG had taken the fun with her. It was so quiet in my apartment I could almost hear every sound that my surrounding neighbours made. The twins had moved out of Black's apartment in the city to the suburbs nearer to our parents and a good hour drive away from me. Black had so much work on his plate he hardly was ever around and almost always half asleep or not speaking when he was around.

So you can imagine the joy my little heart experienced when my sister Kiki (half of the crazy twins) came over on Saturday night to hang out. Kiki is the responsible and sensible one mostly when she's not being influenced by Lila. Anyway after 2 more glasses of the third bottle of wine Kiki blurted out "I'm seeing this guy,I really like him, don't lecture me about sex please. My issue is that he has more bedroom experience than I and I want to improve my game before I sleep with him. I need tips."

I knew Kiki was sexually conservative to an extent. When CG, Lila, Skittles and I were talking of sexual positions we enjoyed she left the room so embarrassed. I'm a firm believer in knowing what you are getting into and researching the hell out of a topic to get the most out of the learning experience. I brought my assorted things in my sex box from underneath the dungeons of my bed. Without missing a beat or blinking an eye lid at the fact that I kept a sex box underneath my bed Kiki simply brought out her marker and was taking notes and stapled together the photocopied pages I gave her to make into a booklet as a reference guide. So I found myself bonding with my little sister on a Saturday night finding out what positions she knew, liked, disliked, was good at and needed to work on. By 11pm she was pretty sure she had everything she needed and I called her a cab to take her home. On her way out Black arrived from a boys night out not giving me any time to clear up the box. The minute he walked in and saw the box I explained to him about Kiki and from nowhere he got so mad. I knew he was very protective of her but combine concern and a tipsy get foolish drama.

Black: Seriously? WTF? She's like 24 why would you show her those things? You should be teaching her about abstaining for goodness sake.
BG: Abstaining in which house? Do you see hypocrite on my forehead ehn? I have a stripper pole in the middle of my bedroom mate!
Black: Oh now you are making a mockery out of this. All I'm saying is if she was my little sister I would not be bringing the handcuffs and lubrication out & talking about rodeo positions...
BG: But she's not your sister & she did not come in here asking for my judgment. She wanted tips. If little things Ive learned like being able to get honey off a banana without leaving bite marks can be used to help her head game so be it.
Black: BG be serious for two seconds please. You and CG run around on your sexual mature revolution tip and promote things like booty calls, one night stands and sexing like a man but pushing this on to Ki...ah mehn..come on now!
BG: Sorry where the FCUK did we just go in this convo? Are we not just discussing the morality of giving a 24yr old woman sex tips? Then you go say CG and I are what? Are you insinuating we are promiscuous...what the hell Black?
Black: I'm going to bed, this is escalating into something else...
BG: Going to bed where? You want to pontificate about morals and then you as unwed to me as you are want to climb into my bed and sleep in my sheets? Then feel up on me in the middle of the night? Not tonight Papi! Either you explain that shit you just said or get to stepping.
Black: seriously?
BG: Is Ashton Kutcher here I look like I'm joking heh?
Black: Look all I'm saying is your attitude and CG's attitude to sex and relationships are different to Kiki's. I mean come on you and CG think its funny that she realised she loved her boyfriend after nearly having a one night stand with a guy with a small dick. That shit is not right!
BG: Again I do not see the correlation here Black. She came here asking to get some notes on my sexual experience...experience might I add Mr. High and mighty, Mr. Can-I-have-a-pole-dance-tonight-please that YOU have greatly benefited from.
Black: This is not about us this is about you giving tips to a girl who before this was happy being oblivious to BG's sex 101 class
BG: Eh? anh you have jokes ehe? Ah my friend be careful of this road you are persisting on traveling on....mssscheeeeew. This is about you Black and whatever crap you have been holding onto.

Anyway we went on like this for another hour until we touched upon the real issue of the matter. Black has a guilty conscience DJ being his friend and CG's BF he feels like he's lying to his friend when DJ and him talk. He also was not happy with my so called part in allowing CG to go on dates while she was here (he says allow like I can stop a grown woman like CG). So Bloggers for the last two weeks I do not know where this relationship of mine has been. We are barely civil to each other right now and fighting about what I no longer know. Help...

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Its been so long........... Jay's Story  

Monday, 6 April 2009

Apology for going MIA on blogging..... its been a crazy few weeks or even months...

So Australia was fun despite the tons of work i had to handle. I already gisted u guys about Jay, the handsome dude i met at a bar on a boring night...
After we had dinner that thursday evening, we started talking everyday. He always knew the right things to say. He would come down to the centre for lunch, and the days i couldnt leave my desk, we will have lunch in the office. I was getting used to his constant calls and attention. This made me ignore my boyfriend D.J and i blamed it on time difference and work. I dont know why i never told Jay i was in a relationship, i guess its cuz he never asked. He always said the right things and i noticed i was getting carried away. I had promised myself i was not going to cheat on DJ but the temptations were too crazy.

Three days before i was scheduled to leave Melbourne, my boss emailed me and said i had to stay an extra three weeks to supervise the opening of our new office in Melbourne. I was really happy cuz it meant more time with BG and Jay. I felt a little guilty for leaving DJ for so long, but its for work, i had no choice. D.J asked if he should come down for a week since he could fit that in but i refused vehemently saying it was too expensive and i was going to be very busy. Gosh i was in lust with Jay. After a movie night at BG's house, he asked if i wanted to go have midnight drink with him and despite my home gurl's warning, i went with him and we ended up at his apartment. One thing led to another and we started kissing and i guess i had too much to drink cuz we ended in his bedroom

He started undressing me slowly, taking off my black skinny jeans, exposing the midnight blue lacy boy shorts i wore under. I told him he had to take off his shirt too. fast forward to us being semi nude... i was in my bra and shorts and he had on his boxers. At first, i thought it was the alcohol that was messing with my sight and making me miss the huge bulge thats supposed to be in his boxers. He took it off anf alas! what did i see? the tiniest d*** a girl could ever see, and yes its supposed to be erect...........

I ran out of the apartment as fast as i could with the words, im sorry ive got a boyfriend i am in love with......... I jumped into the nearest taxi i could get, leaving him calling after me with such aggressiveness and desperation.....
I could have cheated on D.J, afterall, our relationship is still kinda new but one thing City girl won't do, is f*** a guy with a tiny d***.........

Two weeks later, i got to JFK, flew into my baby's arms and told him for the very first time, that i loved him.............

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