Bonding time to find out that the grass is not always greener  

Wednesday, 11 March 2009

The grass is always greener on the other side but that's just mostly because you spend most of your time looking at someone else water their garden than do anything with yours. Black is my garden...the one area of my life EVERYONE tells me that is perfect or that I am so lucky to have. Let me say that he is great but he has his flaws just as much as anyone else and if you were to ask CG she says that she could never date Black because he's too involved in a relationship (she likes her space, her distance). Now Teni thought she needed Black because he was the right fit for her and fast forward to now I see her looking happier, healthier and more sane with Jack than I have ever seen her. Her mother has glowing reports of how she has changed so much...she still gives me withering glances when she see's me out and about but honestly you can tell there is a different person in there...her heart is not in the evil looks as The devil maybe losing his number one draft pick...

Anyway so on to what got me started on this post. My good friend Skittles flew down early from Sydney to hang with CG and I during the upcoming L'Oreal Fashion Festival next week. I love Skittles she's fun, vivacious, loves colour and life to the fullest. The only area that I wish she would change is her man situation. She has been living with her man TT for 5years. He shows no sign of commitment (he still introduces her to peeps as his "boo thang" )...yeah uh huh...she's 28 years old and does not need a 30 year old referring to her in juvenile terms. Anyway she was going on about how Black was perfect blah blah so I would not understand her situation. When I tell people Black and I fight..they get this puzzled look and normally ask "about what? Why you gotta stress him girl?". So I decided that as much as I love my baby I am going to list his faults and mine as well...because hell I'm not perfect either..

First off he's always in my family issues from the jump off. Even when I first met him as a teen I was having family issues and he wanted to be the counselor extraordinaire. Sometimes I just want him to let me handle it or not handle it. On the flip side I need to let go and let people in more but I get scared that if I become too reliant on a man to solve my problems then I will be useless if the man were to leave.

He trusts way too much and I would say he's a bit naive when it comes to girls. Girls will seriously be trying to set up a one night situation and he won't see it coming until too late. Look at the Teni situation, he believed her lies way too much and couldn't see that she was romantically infatuated with him. I on the other hand don't trust anybody until you have given me reason to. I am a hard nut to crack...I believe the worst before I believe the best.

He's a workaholic...he's cut down a lot recently though. His last Blackberry died a tragic death because I was talking to him about something important at dinner and he was busy replying a work email. I snatched it off him and dunked it in the restaurant's fish tank next to the huge lobster. From this you can see I have a temper and I'm impulsive right? LOL...I did replace it with my own money though..*sheepishly grins?*

He is always late...Oh lawd I have tried everything to train this man to be early. I have promised sexual, work and domestic favours. He still is late. It does not help that I am always early for everything I do. So if he is late by 15mins it means I have been waiting for 30mins because I was there 15mins earlier.

He is impatient. If he wants something he wants it now. If he waits for something then its really important.

When I get mad I don't pause to think or try and calm myself down. I will cut you first and think about it later....just joking but you get it right? It is only through knowing people like CG and Black who have calmed me down a lot that 60% of my encounters with people have been deescalated because I took a step back.

Ok those are some of the faults if I continued I might not have a boyfriend at the end of What about you guys what are your faults?

On a separate note: This Friday & Saturday night I really have to take some time to chill with Black I have been neglecting him so much since CG came and what makes it worse is that he's been busy with work and so have I. I think I have seen him once in the last 5 days, spoken to him twice and emailed him the rest of time. You can't conduct a relationship via email can you? CG is taking me shopping (Victoria's Secret...her treat..yay) and giving us her hotel room to use... so hopefully I can pick up some sexy pieces and try and make it up to him. I'm thinking though that if I work my butt off this week by Friday I can leave work early...I will go cliche, wear lingerie under a trench coat (pray there are no gusts of wind), pick him up from work and go direct to the hotel where I can pamper him. Good idea? Does anyone realise that being in a relationship you work harder at it than when you were single and looking for a man? Seriously when I was single and mingling the effort I put in was not anywhere near the effort I put in keeping this relationship going. When I say work I do not mean it as a chore, I enjoy juggling my work, friends, family and him and it is a big ask but fun too because it fills my days.

Hope you are all good! Shout out to the regulars for showing love on this blog...we read although we may not always write on your blogs! (Bumight, Tigeress, Danny B, Temite, Shona aka Mai sexy, Miss DM, Haddasah, Nefertiti, Buttercup, Afrobabe, Toluwa) Stay well xxxx

** SIRIUS** babe I was so sure I had listed you shout out to SIRIUS and Qube Word Smith and Mike!

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16 comments: to “ Bonding time to find out that the grass is not always greener

  • Tigeress
    11 March 2009 at 08:48  

    Am i 1st?

  • ShonaVixen
    11 March 2009 at 08:51  

    I'm FIRST!!! Yay to moi Miss Swexy Swaggerlicious!!Yay!!!
    Hmmm my flaws are many, I DON'T trust any-one, I side-eye every-one I meet coz they just might disappoint moi!!
    I'm impatient ..hello born 2months before my time..first signs of impatience right there!!!
    I hate confrotations so I can cut some-one without warning...

    You 2 chickas seem to be having fun infact you are!!Errr get me a lil sumsum from Vickie Secrets hon..we don't have it over here!!

    Oooh so Teni is doing better??Good for her otherwise would have cut her when I got to!!

    And treat my bhudhi well my dear!! xxxxx

  • ShonaVixen
    11 March 2009 at 08:51  

    Tigeress where did u come from???Naaaah now that's sneaking in on me....not fair!!!

  • Tigeress
    11 March 2009 at 08:58  

    1st my ass Shona! LMHO!!!! Temite, Afrobabe in your face!!! lol!

    My dear Twin SHona- if u werent busy writing an epistole u wld have clinched the 1st spot. sorry. lol!!

    Bondgirl, pls u have to give us more gist about this your skittles friend. Cos i can not comprehend why a babe who has been living a man for 5years like he's her husband and dude hasnt proposed and she's still sticking around?!! didnt u say she's 28? Has he even mentioned anything about them getting married? I'm sorry but i just can't get over this! why is she even living with him? I mean i know loads of babes who did not live with their husbands and within a year of meeting them dude proposed. Shona, help me out here!

    Bondgirl- no one is perfect. But you need to work on your temper and strive to be better. While we are still unmarried we all need to work on our flaws so we will be a better spouse.

  • Tigeress
    11 March 2009 at 09:01  

    Overall Black sounds like a good guy. Being late......i know is annoying but that means if u need him to pick u up at 3- tell him 2. Wisdom i call it. Workalcoholic is better than a lazy jobless man who is broke. lol

  • Bondgirl
    11 March 2009 at 09:11  

    @ Tigeress yes you Temite, Afro,Bumight and Shona catch you next time...girl my temper has calmed itself down a lot. Its a serious daily issue for me not to get angry with some people sometimes! AS for SKITTLES...heh that another post for another day...because the story continues!

    @ Shona...mai sexy! I see we share the same flaws kasi its a southern African thing? Yep Teni is good..its either the love of Jack or the medication is kicking

    I will try and treat bhudhi as well as I can!

  • Danny B
    11 March 2009 at 09:18  

    LOL.. DB reporting for reading duty..unfortunately this dissertation is dulling me big time.. I'm only number 6.. sheesh!

    Good to know the "devil's number one draft pick" is having a quiet revolution.. That should keep her off your case...Yr Skittles friend needs some real shaking up.. Dude is obviously having the time of his life and she's tagging along.. at her detriment me thinks...

    Err watch the weather report well b4 u do the trench coat thingy.....

  • Qube The Wordsmith
    11 March 2009 at 09:51  

    Oh well..tis good u even recognise that u hav faults unlike sme pple I knw*cough my sista cough cough*
    Kip workin on em n u wil prevail
    Wish sme1 culd suprise me iin a trench n skivvies...

  • Miss Definitely Maybe
    11 March 2009 at 17:49  

    I demand that next time there is a 'shout out' my name be listed first!!!!Actually I deserve my own private shout out lol
    I can not even begin to list my 'percieved' flaws, Iam very impatient (I cant wait for anything so if my man says he is going to take me away for a certain holiday and starts dragging his feet, next time he calls me I will probably be waiting to board a plane to said destination. My 'man' (ha ha ha note the inverted commas) sometimes says I need to leave my 'aggressive' boardroom techniques at work coz a relationship is not like a court case lol. I need to learn to be a 'woman' sometimes, like let my 'man' (again inverted commas) handle his business instead of wanting to pay the bills, split the cost of everything and even MOT his car. Im terrible guess there is a thing such as too independent.....gosh this comment is getting to be a post

  • bumight
    11 March 2009 at 18:07  

    lol @ "the devil might be losing his #1 draft pick!"

    my flaws? i'm perfect! i dont have any *flicks hair in the wind*, that is if u dont count my gorgeousness, extreme beauty, impeccable manners and all as flaws! LOL

    seriously though: i can be know, child-like whinning..word on the street is that it is mildly irritating, LOL

    @MDM: do not be hating on my swag! she mentioned me first :)

    oh, and bondgirl, u might want to put my name in bold and in red! *dodging bullets from MDM*

  • ~Sirius~
    11 March 2009 at 18:58  

    Spot On! Loving the Photo...had me laughing all over the place.
    The grass is never greener on the other side!

    And it is really harder managing a relationship than being can't just wake up and do as they please.

    Good Luck with the plan! And I hope for your sake they are really no gusts of wind. LOL

  • ~Sirius~
    11 March 2009 at 19:00  

    Hey! My name is not on the regular's list!........*hiss

    Stomping away angrily and taking my comments along with me......

  • Temite
    12 March 2009 at 20:22  

    YAY. Oh Sis, I so feel you on this. I have to learn that lesson, water your own damn garden instead of looking at another person. And Black is a lucky Man and so are you.

    I can be toooo intense, that is my one problem. I am INTENSE! Everything I do, feel, think, anything is INTENSE.

    Oh and enjoy Black oh and one of this days I shall have to try the underwear, trench combo.

  • Hadassah
    14 March 2009 at 12:13  

    Mymajor Flaw, i don't trust friends at all and i think that is why I have one close friend in my life.

  • ~Sirius~
    15 March 2009 at 08:45  

    Ok, you can have my comment back..........*batting my eyes.

    *cough cough....did our plan work? or where the winds against you?

  • Buttercup
    16 March 2009 at 22:31  

    poor skittles..but seriously, she needs to give him an ultimatum or something..

    lol @ u throwing black's blackberry..hehe i dont wanna mess with u mehn!

    my flaws..hmm..
    i think im too quiet
    i dont forgive easily
    i find it hard to say "no"

    thanx for the shout out..mwah!


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