Black its not me....its not you...its Us....  

Tuesday, 14 April 2009


I was almost certain that CG had taken the fun with her. It was so quiet in my apartment I could almost hear every sound that my surrounding neighbours made. The twins had moved out of Black's apartment in the city to the suburbs nearer to our parents and a good hour drive away from me. Black had so much work on his plate he hardly was ever around and almost always half asleep or not speaking when he was around.

So you can imagine the joy my little heart experienced when my sister Kiki (half of the crazy twins) came over on Saturday night to hang out. Kiki is the responsible and sensible one mostly when she's not being influenced by Lila. Anyway after 2 more glasses of the third bottle of wine Kiki blurted out "I'm seeing this guy,I really like him, don't lecture me about sex please. My issue is that he has more bedroom experience than I and I want to improve my game before I sleep with him. I need tips."

I knew Kiki was sexually conservative to an extent. When CG, Lila, Skittles and I were talking of sexual positions we enjoyed she left the room so embarrassed. I'm a firm believer in knowing what you are getting into and researching the hell out of a topic to get the most out of the learning experience. I brought my assorted things in my sex box from underneath the dungeons of my bed. Without missing a beat or blinking an eye lid at the fact that I kept a sex box underneath my bed Kiki simply brought out her marker and was taking notes and stapled together the photocopied pages I gave her to make into a booklet as a reference guide. So I found myself bonding with my little sister on a Saturday night finding out what positions she knew, liked, disliked, was good at and needed to work on. By 11pm she was pretty sure she had everything she needed and I called her a cab to take her home. On her way out Black arrived from a boys night out not giving me any time to clear up the box. The minute he walked in and saw the box I explained to him about Kiki and from nowhere he got so mad. I knew he was very protective of her but combine concern and a tipsy man...you get foolish drama.

Black: Seriously? WTF? She's like 24 why would you show her those things? You should be teaching her about abstaining for goodness sake.
BG: Abstaining in which house? Do you see hypocrite on my forehead ehn? I have a stripper pole in the middle of my bedroom mate!
Black: Oh now you are making a mockery out of this. All I'm saying is if she was my little sister I would not be bringing the handcuffs and lubrication out & talking about rodeo positions...
BG: But she's not your sister & she did not come in here asking for my judgment. She wanted tips. If little things Ive learned like being able to get honey off a banana without leaving bite marks can be used to help her head game so be it.
Black: BG be serious for two seconds please. You and CG run around on your sexual mature revolution tip and promote things like booty calls, one night stands and sexing like a man but pushing this on to Ki...ah mehn..come on now!
BG: Sorry where the FCUK did we just go in this convo? Are we not just discussing the morality of giving a 24yr old woman sex tips? Then you go say CG and I are what? Are you insinuating we are promiscuous...what the hell Black?
Black: I'm going to bed, this is escalating into something else...
BG: Going to bed where? You want to pontificate about morals and then you as unwed to me as you are want to climb into my bed and sleep in my sheets? Then feel up on me in the middle of the night? Not tonight Papi! Either you explain that shit you just said or get to stepping.
Black: seriously?
BG: Is Ashton Kutcher here somewhere...do I look like I'm joking heh?
Black: Look all I'm saying is your attitude and CG's attitude to sex and relationships are different to Kiki's. I mean come on you and CG think its funny that she realised she loved her boyfriend after nearly having a one night stand with a guy with a small dick. That shit is not right!
BG: Again I do not see the correlation here Black. She came here asking to get some notes on my sexual experience...experience might I add Mr. High and mighty, Mr. Can-I-have-a-pole-dance-tonight-please that YOU have greatly benefited from.
Black: This is not about us this is about you giving tips to a girl who before this was happy being oblivious to BG's sex 101 class
BG: Eh? anh anh...now you have jokes ehe? Ah my friend be careful of this road you are persisting on traveling on....mssscheeeeew. This is about you Black and whatever crap you have been holding onto.

Anyway we went on like this for another hour until we touched upon the real issue of the matter. Black has a guilty conscience DJ being his friend and CG's BF he feels like he's lying to his friend when DJ and him talk. He also was not happy with my so called part in allowing CG to go on dates while she was here (he says allow like I can stop a grown woman like CG). So Bloggers for the last two weeks I do not know where this relationship of mine has been. We are barely civil to each other right now and fighting about what I no longer know. Help...

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11 comments: to “ Black its not me....its not you...its Us....

  • bumight
    15 April 2009 at 01:06  

    u and black are hilarious...as in did you actually use the word pontificate in an argument?

    anyways, both of you have a point. Black being overprotective and stuff, bt the heart of the matter is kiki is 24 years old and isnt growning up in a cocoon. would he rather she got the wrong kind of advice from elsewhere?

    plus if you're having sex, it would be hypocritical to preach abstinence to her in that situation.
    i guess u could have shown her the "tricks" but also impress upon her that she should be sure of what she's doing. the whole "sex-is-great-but-it-has-both-positive-and-negative-aspects" kinda discussion.

    Also if i were DJ's friend, i wont be comfortable either. i guess Black is kinda disturbed cos he was putting himself in DJ's shoes. if u had gone to NY and wanted to have a one night stand with some guy with a huge dick, he's realizing that CG wont stop you, and i think that kinda scares him, but CG is a grown woman and she ultimately reserves the final decision on what she does.

    phew! long comment!!

  • Bondgirl
    15 April 2009 at 01:16  

    Its the legalese in me Bumight it just comes out, we go hard in our arguments. He's a lawyer so he gives as good as he gets as well.

    See my problem is he has been moping around here for the last 2 weeks instead of saying hey I have a problem with a through to z.... and his issue about DJ should be one he should have addressed with CG since they are good friends. Thanks for the advice babe

  • danny bagucci
    15 April 2009 at 02:43  

    guess black's just being loyal to his friend DJ..and feels sad abt the dates thing. whilst kiki getting her education from you is way better than getting it elsewhere, maybe he feels like she has a figthing chance of staying relatively 'unspoilt' for want of a better word...ultimately I guess he's got good intentions, mybe he's just not executing those intentions with enuf hardnosed
    pragmatism...

  • ShonaVixen
    15 April 2009 at 06:25  

    Well you schooling Kiki who's not 14 but 24 and its commendable that she's getting this info from big sis!
    I kinda understand why Black was concerned about the DJ issue, but he should also know that we can never stop our friends, errr stop a grown woman from what again???Heey if you had stopped her she wouldnt have realised she loved DJ...
    LOL @ pontificate..LOL!!!!

  • doll
    15 April 2009 at 11:03  

    I like bumight's commment...i totally agree

  • Jayla.
    15 April 2009 at 11:49  

    errr i guess Black is in a tough corner cos of his friend DJ but he better get his head out of it and focus on ur relationship.

    Bumight is right, he's probably realised CG won't talk u out of doing something if u head to NY

  • Buttercup
    15 April 2009 at 17:10  

    awww..im sorry..

    well, he's obviously taking the guilt out on u which is unfair but HUMAN..

    i was expecting to hear that kiki is 20 or somn..i must say im a bit surprised that he reacted that way..24 is grown woman enough! well, maybe seeing as he sees her as his younger sis, its only natural..i know my older bro wudnt dare educate me on sex..im not 24 yet tho..

    i guess u shud just talk to him and tell him what this is doing to u..its really not fair on u....he sounds like a good guy, im sure he'll understand ur point of view with time..

    good luck hon!

  • Nefertiti
    15 April 2009 at 19:39  

    Did you really say 'pontificate'? lol...

    I think bumight's said all I want to say. He's on a guilt trip which is normal. I'm hoping u guys can work this out.

  • Temite
    19 April 2009 at 03:23  

    Oh SIS, WHATUP?
    Oh MY GOSH,
    I totally agree with Bumights last paragraph. If u were complacent with CGs Fabulous Self while she was in Australia then who knows if you would do the same. So Darl, you need to reassure him THAT U CHOSE HIM! Men, even Strong, fascinating Lawyers such as My brov, need reassurance at times, considering he is dating such a Fabulous, swexilicious Independent woman such as urself. Ok I am seriously sleepy. Au revoir Ma Soeur.

  • Tigeress
    21 April 2009 at 17:31  

    hey! Havent seen u around.

    Look no relationship is easy and u do have to see where he is coming from especially if cg's bf is his friend (if i'm not mistaken). Now that u know how he feels- going forward- respect that. Next time cg is in town- dont let him know what she's getting up to.

    U have to work at ur relationship. it's a phase. if cg is ur close friend and he sees you condoling whatever she might have done- there is no way he wont think it's something u too can do. As women, we have to be careful of what we do/say/behave/entertain around guys we date. I'm sorry bg, but u have to see where he's coming from. Show me ur friend and i'll tell you who u are. And pls pls pls going ffwd- u do not tell ur bf everything about ur gf- there is no need!!! and 2 be honest- cheating is just plain wrong. If ur girl is gonna cheat- as a friend- u cover that shii up and set ur friend straight.

    As for him going off about ur 24yr old sister....thats a grown as woman!!! whats he on about? At least we now know what the real issue was.

  • ~Sirius~
    28 April 2009 at 12:06  

    oh.......Now I see.

    LOL

    The argument was hilarious.

    I wouldn't find it funny though.

 

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