Bond Girl not married ...no one guessed pregnancy?  

Thursday, 22 January 2009


The shoes....the shoes....and again...the shoes...if he's really sorry...LOL

I can settle for Chanel...Chanel on sale but Chanel still more!

Before you all get up in arms about my disappearance blame Black peoples. Shona and Nefertiti stop rolling your eyes...it was his fault...Temite seriously it was his fault. Why am I trying to prove to you people? I can see Sirius, Toluwa, Danny and even Buttercup just shaking their heads like whatever...So I didn't get married, nor was I in DC which hurts me more than you will ever know! I'm surprised no one said pregnancy K? Thanks for stepping in for me I refuse to tell people how we know each other then I know someone one day will stumble upon this and immediately know who CG, Black and me are.

But seriously I have missed you all! I went on holidays and normally holidays means unlimited blog time but this time around Black BANNED me from facebook and blogging. I was only allowed to access my emails once a day which is hard when you have a blackberry peoples but I had to restrain myself because Black threatened to take that away from me as well. He was all up in arms about a tiny incident after new years. I fainted three times. Once when we were at dinner in a very nice restaurant along the pier. I was mortified because I had worn a very sexy black LBD that CG had got for me for Xmas and had chosen to forgo underwear (I would like to say this was for the aesthetic of the dress but really it was about easy access...*cheeky grin*. Second time at my mothers and third at the after Xmas sales. Anyway Mr-over protective-you might-be ill-lets call 911, forced me to see the doctor the next day who just said it's because of stress, not eating properly blah blah. My mother also tagged along because she said "It might be serious" which in African mother speak is code for "you might be pregnant and I don't trust you to tell me". I tell you I was praying like I have never prayed in my life because unbeknown to Black and my mother my monthly visitor had failed to arrive for at least 2 months prior even though reservations were made (reservations= back pain,pms, cramps, tenderness...sorry Danny..info overload!)

Anyway I was found to be seriously stressed, a little burnt out emotionally and just fatigued. Black felt so guilty because my doctor who has been my doctor since my family moved here asked "Is there anything that you were worried about in the last few months?". My mother was looking quizzically at me like "yes tell us now" and poor Black's face was so guilty. My poor baby! I did tell him though that the Teni thing, work, having my sisters around, my bad eating habits ALL contributed it wasn't just the Teni issue on its own. He still didn't believe me though and got me drum roll.....see Chanel bag picture (people calm yourselves on sale at some silly price, I still couldn't afford it at the sale price but some people make more money than me!)...yep...he bought it as an I'm sorry for not listening to you gift. Now see the picture of the shoes? I tried to push for those as well to see how sorry he really was but he claimed his bank balance was not THAT sorry. Lmao. For now I could only take a picture of the shoes. You should have seen the snooty sales clerk, she came up to me, looked me up and down, smiled at Black and said to him even though I was standing in front of him all 5'5 OF ME.. "Excuse me sir, may you please inform the lady we do not allow pictures to be taken of our merchandise at this establishment". I looked her up and down, side stepped her, snapped the picture and brushed past her as I walked out with Black shaking his head. What was she going to do? I WISH she would have stopped me! I swear those ladies at Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Burberry. You name any high class store in Melbourne where they have security guards at the door the sales girls think they are the second coming of Mary. I'm like please chick we catch the same train after work. I see you on platform one waiting for the 5.25pm express like everyone else, you don't roll in a phantom so please act the way your salary and position demands when anybody comes into the store....with courtesy. You can be as rude to me as you like when you own the store or when you are making millions and are only filling in as a volunteer!

Anyway the big news of 2009 besides President Obama and Michelle, Buttercup and Chari (CG told me about that and I was like what! I told CG though if we were still single we might follow suit..hahaha,just jokes. Strictly dickly over here.). Ok back to the news Teni is dating jack Black's shady friend Jack!!! Black went to dinner with Jack to reconcile (I opted to stay home rather than be there sending out negative vibes). Apparently they met at some Xmas office party and hit it off. The world is coming to an end I tell you. Hide the knives Melbourne if this precious couple come to your dinner parties. Those are two unstable people who need therapy before entering relationships with like minded crazy people. I heard a rumour a long while back that Jack beats his girlfriends but if he thinks he is going to beat Teni its going to go down like that scene in the Colour Purple, where Whoopi Goldberg's character advises the guy who plays Oprah's husband to beat her to keep her in line and the guy ends up getting beat down and Oprah goes back defiant with a black eye to Whoopi and says "You told Harpo to beat me"....LOL classic moment and can see it happening with Jack and Teni. Anyway La familia its so good to be back, I've missed all of you....till next time

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21 comments: to “ Bond Girl not married ...no one guessed pregnancy?

  • Nefertiti
    22 January 2009 at 22:37  

    Wait for it.......................................................................................................................................................................................................I'm FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTT... Temite Style!

    Mschewwwwww... Why are u playing with my emotions, BeeGee. Ehn YYYYY? See my gist antenna shooting all the way up, Kai! Anyhoos. I Hate ur ass. You get chanel, just for being sad? Shiiiiieee... I'd be sad all the freaking time. Glad to hear u're doing great tho. Yeah teni and Jack deserve each other...LMAO keep us posted on how that goes...lol

  • Temite
    22 January 2009 at 23:29  

    SECOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONDDDDDDDDDDD!
    Damn that didnt sound as good. Nonsense! Nefie - if I didnt like you so much I for curse your assss out. Anyhooos I blame the stupip ass french class I have to take. Nonsense!
    BABES BABES BABES - where have you been? Gosh Sweery I have missed you so musch. Please tell me you missed me boo. Are you serious? You got a chanel bag for being tired. Again you are my Hero. Gosh I wish I was half as feisty as you are Men. You took the picture, damn, I am going to be chaneling you ev'rytime some stupid ass emanciated sales girl tries any of that shit with me. Gosh I am so glad your back.

  • bumight
    23 January 2009 at 01:25  

    who gets a chanel bag just for being tired?
    hope u enjoyed ur hols?

  • Danny Bagucci
    23 January 2009 at 03:28  

    Methinks the "fault" was mutual.... Good to have that kind of fault tho.. LOL.... "Easy access".. Now that a new concept that needs to be investigated further.....

    That Teni chick's got some nerve tho.. Wasn't it Jack who faked a DUI phone call a while's back? Guess that's classic "cunny man die, cunny man bury am" stuff (ie traps set for the innocent by crooks will only snag fellow crooks)

    Must congratulate you again o.. You've gotten yourself a real solid dude -- caring, loving and strong-willed enuf to shut down facebook and blogging.. cool...

  • K
    23 January 2009 at 04:23  

    A Chanel bag for what? For what? I die of jealousy...

  • ShonaVixen
    23 January 2009 at 06:26  

    LMAO...Coz i did roll my eyes @ its Bond's Fault..yeah wa'eva!!My green-eyed monster is out in full force..Chanel..Chanel!!
    BG does Black have an older brother who happens to be in London?Because hell, I could be sad a loooooooooong time...lol..

    Hon its not just there wiv snotty sales assistants..they act all up there when m the one who's actually buying the good and all u doing is selling it!!My girl Teetay says I'm so not nice to them but I tell her if they act like they're a millionaire yet they aint, I'll put them in their place!!mcccccccccccccheww they should be just that SALES ASSISTANT!
    Glad you're back chyna, K was here on her ace, skooning when u'd joll here..lol...And hon for 2009 do take it easy, no fainting whilst going commando!!xoxo

  • ~Sirius~
    23 January 2009 at 08:11  

    Hi Missy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Your title had me shaking....

    Glad to have you back.......so much going on.
    And hey, I wasn't shaking my head Tsk!....*shaking my head now.lol

    JACK & TENI!!!LMAO!!!LOL!ROTFLMAO!!
    They deserve each other, I'd like to know how that story ends.

    Sorry about your stress level at Christmas.....hope you're back to 100% now. So Nice of Black to grace you with Chanel.....I hope you 2 work at keeping yourselves for each other- you sound like quite a team.

    Feeling the mother- she's not sure what her daughter's been up to....lol.

    Welcome back sweetie.....

  • ~Sirius~
    23 January 2009 at 08:16  

    Hey! i forgot to say DARN THE SALES GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Mschew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Tigeress
    23 January 2009 at 10:19  

    lol! Welcome back. So is it a good thing that u're not pregnant? And why did you feel the need to go to the Doctors' with your mother and bf together?

    Interesting blog me dear! :)

    Keep us posted about Teni and Jack. lol!! Looks like interesting gist will be occuring btw those two.

  • Bondgirl
    23 January 2009 at 10:30  

    @ Nefie...LOL you beat Temite finally! I'm sorry babe, let me go get pregnant now and fulfill my gist duties...lol

    @ Temite, hi baby girl how are you? of course I MISSED YOU!!you take french huh? wow I wish I could speak it but alas useless at languages!

    @ bumtight..lol...it was an apology babe. My hols were good! how were yours

    @ Danny yes that is the same Jack. Mutual?? Danny come on now! lol

    @ K die, die die...lol

    @ Shona Vixen...china I'm jolling to your spot just now

    @ Sirius...how can you side with mama?

    @ Tigeress...the two of them overprotective as anything

  • Buttercup
    23 January 2009 at 11:43  

    awww im sorry u were down..but dang, what a compensation! *sighs*

    lmaoooooo teni n jack??? they really do deserve each other!

    awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thanx sweetie!!! :D rotfl @ "I told CG though if we were still single we might follow suit..hahaha,just jokes. Strictly dickly over here.)."

  • Afrobabe
    23 January 2009 at 14:33  

    She's backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk....

    Ok, where do I start? I almost had an orgasm looking at those shoes...I want hem all...Oh God I want them all..

    Hmmmmm fainted 3 times, stress my fat black ass...better go baby shpping oh.....yeahhhhhh lil Bond baby on the way...

  • miz-cynic
    23 January 2009 at 16:52  

    not rily a shoe person but those shoes are luvlyi was sick one tme like tht too and a guy brought me home...momsie's eyebrows were raised i tell u.

  • Funms-the rebirth
    23 January 2009 at 20:17  

    Shoes! SHoes! Shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ha! glad ur back

  • Just...Toluwa
    23 January 2009 at 22:53  

    AHHHHHH! we av missed u too o! HABA!

    Gosh I love those shoes! the bottom ones!

    Lol @ jack & Teni! Lmao!

  • Miss Definitely Maybe
    24 January 2009 at 15:33  

    Good to see you back
    with a chanel bag in tow
    when you get tired of it
    pass it over here
    i have never owned a Chanel bag
    have always been a balenciaga kinda girl (when I am with a man who can afford it lol)

  • Jayla
    26 January 2009 at 04:51  

    does Black have a brother? cos i could be stressed and sad just to get that chanel baby.

    I think Teni & Jack are made for each other...... heaven knows wat they would get up to.

  • flabby
    26 January 2009 at 14:00  

    i love this blog! have i commented before? hmm-i cant remember..i actually read it all in a few hrs! now the adoration is out of the way? Teni-gee..that babe! (see me wriing like i know her)

  • Mista Jaycee
    26 January 2009 at 14:42  

    Good to see ya back! And PS Mista Jaycee says EWWW! on the visitor/PMS info! LOL!
    Jaycee

  • Saved Girl
    28 January 2009 at 14:43  

    them shoes are fierce, made me daydream at work for a second.

  • THe AFriCan pOet
    29 January 2009 at 10:11  

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