Ghost from the past
Friday, 5 September 2008
I am going to Paris on Monday. I should be excited right? cuz its for a fashion event and the who's who in the fashion industry will be there. A lot of people want this opportunity and will do anything for it. Unfortunately, i am not excited. 2 years ago, yes! i'd be jumping up and down, rushing home to pack. Now, i wish i was not chosen. I'll tell you why. Before i do that, i read some comments about how fab my job is. Ok, i admit, its really glamorous and fab, you get to meet fashion designers, celebrities, models and important clients and also get a lot of free stuff which to to the outside eye, looks perfect. Trust me, im a black girl, size us 6, who constantly has to deal with racist motherfuckers and size 0 models, persuading them to let you dress them. The pay is excellent, the contacts are great but the harshness, the tears, the stress, are another battle. As time goes on, i'd share the good and the bad times of my job. One of the perks is i get to go for fashion events. Hence, this annual Paris event by a famous designer (sorry confidentiality agreement at work, cant mention his name). We r flying first class, staying at a 5 star hotel, good service, u name it. Still i am sad at going. This is due to a senior consultant in our Paris office. His name is Christian. I confess here, ive been very wild. When i broke up with Akin, i threw caution in the wind and got pressured with work and started hanging out with a different crowd, had wild fun, used guys and all. It was on one of these wild ocassions that Christian came to NY. He's french and he's a senior consultant under my division. He's HOT! seriously. i never had a flair for white guys but he's different. Im getting horny just typing about him...lol.... One thing led to another and we had a week long of great sex with no commitment. As per the sex, i have no regrets. we never broke it off. I flew to Paris a couple of times and he came to NY to see me. Our affair was great esp the phone sex aspect. After a couple of months, i got tired of him and i never told him why i cut all contacts. I avoided him when he came to NY and when i went to Paris. He still wants me and i think i secretly still do. C'mon dont judge me :). Now i ve new guy (NG), who i'd be gisting u about soon and i never told NG my past, he doesnt have to know, does he? and even though we are not totally exclusive, i dont want to cheat on him.... It will be hard cuz temptation!!!!! Chris is so romantic.... (drooling). I cant avoid Chris at the event cuz only 3 people get to go from my office and he's one of the group. He emailed me yesterday to tell me he was looking forward to the event esp, to seeing me.
Now see why im not looking forward to the trip. I cant tell my manager im not going, whats my excuse? Its a career booster. I need advice on how to resist Chris, maybe i should tell NG and that may make matters easier, cuz if i know he's aware, i'd be very careful. Ive told Chris im in a rship but he' french, cant be bothered! what will u do if u were in my shoes?
5 September 2008 at 06:15
First, yay!!!Whoa!!! Gal, this is a tough one. Damn, how do I advise you on how to resist, a hot romantic French man. Maybe you could tell NG a little; that you had a thing with this guy and that you’ll be seeing him in Paris for work and that the guy might hit on you, if you think that will help that is. I don’t think he’d judge you on a past fling.
But the real question is, do you want to resist Chris? or do you want to give in? In the end you will do what your heart wants. But if you want to make things work with Chris, just resist him. Maybe try not to be alone with him and make excuses if he tries to get you alone.
By the way, I just tagged you and bond girl to answer some questions on your blog. Check my latest post for the questions and instructions
5 September 2008 at 11:12
Hmmmm the bad girl in me wonders why you try so hard to resist…wouldn’t it be easier to just give in, come home and be extra nice to boyfie?
5 September 2008 at 11:28
hmmm...hot french dude! wow!
totally depends on what you have going with NG. if it is really deep and you want it to work, you will resist Chris.
But if its not important to u, you cld give in like afrobabe said and 'what happens in Paris stays in Paris'. At the same time let hris know it is the last time you wil be sexually involved with him.
But O MY DAMN...now i want me a french dude! a sexc one too...lol
5 September 2008 at 11:46
afro!!!!!
5 September 2008 at 14:06
oh damn..
temptation is such a bitch!!!!!
u n NG not being exclusive translates to u guys being in an open relationship, yea??
that said, theres no harm in indulgin urself with chris..right??
and if u dont wanna do that, i guess u have no choice but to steel urself n try n resist him as much as u can..
all the best!!!!
damn i wanna go to paris!
tell us how it goes!
5 September 2008 at 17:32
Hmm...between the devil and the deep blue sea but I'd say dont squeal to NG. Why tell him something like dat. You may end up going to Paris and not being able to do anything with Chris sef. But if it was me...am shagging all the way.
My church mind however tells me to tell you to exercise some self control. Whatever that means!
5 September 2008 at 18:14
Mona: im not sure if i want to resist Chris.... i dont even know what my heart wants
Afrobabe: extra nice can work. i guess i'd shop for him from paris.... lol
toluwa lase: thats my new mantra: what happens in Paris, stays in Paris
buttercup: yes, we r supposed to be in an open rship but dude's been hinting commitment.... so i guess for now, it wont be cheating, or would it?
Parakeet: i dont think i want to listen to ur churvch mind now..... hmmm.... shagging al d way sounds better :)
5 September 2008 at 19:59
hmmm.. i like your blog too. Do Chris... Nigerian men are so full of pretentious bullshit.
8 September 2008 at 10:20
You know how I feel about this story. When you get back I hope you have gists for us about Chris and you. Until NG comes correct and makes thing official (says you are a committed couple) all is fair in love and war.
8 September 2008 at 18:21
Afrobabe you bad, bad, girl!!Hmm i am weak to the French Resistance (Rene's accent from 'Allo 'Allo)..and dont tell NG the whole truth though...how about go wiv the flow??am i as bad as Afro??LOL...