The Adventures of Two City Girls

Alcohol truly is the truth serum that loosens tongues and the Margaritas at Teni's birthday gave her some false Dutch courage. I was rather taken aback at the blunt question she threw at me so much so I had to lean forward and ask her to repeat it lest I had heard wrong. So steadying herself against the bar she shouted in my ear asking, " So how good do you fcuk then? Do you put your legs behind your ears? Dutty wine on his D*ck? Because I am trying to find out how he stays loyal to you. You are not in his league". I raised my eyebrows at her boldness. I almost walked off because I was so insulted and could feel my hand itching to let the glass of Margarita in her face...but its the credit crunch no need to waste good alcohol on ignorant family members. I am not ugly nor am I fat but its just that Black's quite good looking people expect him to date someone flawless with an eating disorder....like Teni's skinny ass. Instead I replied "I don't know Teni I guess its the moves been fcuking for awhile now...I'm so good at perfecting my craft the karma sutra guidelines reference my shit". Her mouth dropped open, I am generally not crass nor am I outwardly rude unless you cross me then you see that the flames were in my belly the whole time all I needed was some dry wood to be thrown at me to start a fire.

I left her standing at the bar to go join Black at one of the little bar tables the club had. When I got there he saw that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I really wanted to tell him that the way Teni had dismissed the reality of our relationship by stating it was about sex was really bugging me. I wanted to tell him that even though I looked damn good in my dark green chiffon grecian style dress, with bare back and gold accessories and high heels her constant touchy feely nature towards Black and her attempts at shutting me out were grating on my nerves. However I just shook my head, told him I was fine and looked for the waiter to order another margarita. If you have too many things to think about stop thinking start drinking! An hour later I went to the bathroom and when I was coming out there I see Black and Teni arguing. Well she was crying, looking like a drunk mess and he looked majorly unimpressed. When he saw me, he left her and walked over to me and asked "Can we go now?". I nodded and looked over his shoulder at Teni who was looking at us intently like she was waiting for something. I looked at Black and asked him "First, whats going on with you and Teni?". He shook his head and said, "Babe lets not get into this now, just lets go. She's had a lot to drink so let her sober up, you sober up and we can hash it out tomorrow". Then he tried to usher me towards the door. I firmly refused to budge and raised an eyebrow quizzically "I am not going anywhere and there is no need to usher me towards the door. Whats going on?". Black sighed, you know one of those "I might as well tell her but ish is about to hit the roof and I aint finna deal with people's ish tonight" sigh.

"I asked her what she said to you. She told me. I asked why she would say some dumb ish like that and then she told me because you are not right for me. Then she said she was right for me and was available any time I decided I got tired of being the good stand by BG through everything kind of guy".Now bloggers like I said I am not a dramatic child,other people are dramatic and then they bring their drama to my circle but I am not mad at them because its people like Teni that encouraged me to start blogging. So that I could share the WTF moments I have nearly every week of my life with people who are unbiased. When I looked over Black's shoulder Teni was no longer to be seen and Black was blocking me, I msssscheeeeewed him and nearly lapsed into my mother tongue, instead I settled for a healthy tirade, " Iwe, lets just get out of here. I don't want to speak to her, I don't want to see her. she has her own damn man, who happens to be roaming around here so what she wants mine? Why? I know there is a man shortage around but there is no need to start poaching. Thats the ish that gets you shot! As for you Black you are too damn nice to the bitch. No wonder she thinks she's in with a chance".

The minute I said it I regretted it but you know when things are said in the heat of the moment you can't take them back because they run away so fast from you. All you are left holding is hindsight and an a possible apology. "Sorry" I whispered and started walking out of the club. The alcohol started to hit me the minute I went outside. The warm summer breeze cooled my skin but did not do the same for my temper. It was a very quiet ride home in the early hours of Saturday morning and for the first time Black and I slept in the same bed without having sex. The next night I thought it would be the same until about 2am he reached for me and we had a good make up session.

Now my dilemma lies in telling my man that I am not comfortable with him talking or even seeing Teni who I know has put herself out there on the platter to be sampled. I have never been a jealous girl but all of a sudden the arrival of Teni has me seeing flames. I have never been one of those girls that would ban her man from hanging or talking to certain girls but its like now I get it. If you knew a girl was actively chasing your man or had offered herself to your man do you trust your man not to stray or do you submit to your fears and insecurities and try to put barriers to stop any form of contact between the two? So I sit here thinking that City Girl had been right to tell me to confront Teni and see where her head was at. I believe her exact words were "Sometimes when someone shows you what sort of person they are....you should take their word for it and believe them".

Tell me your suggestions people! till next time.....

Thank you for your support and advice........... BG, i love u so much........
I think i was just really shocked cuz i never saw it coming... Oh well!
Last weekend was boyfriend's birthday and i think i just maxed out a credit card.. How do u even know whats the best gift to buy a guy? We've not been dating for long so i am not too sure of what he would have liked. Anyway, got him alot of Video games, a pair of Prada Slippers and a Tissot wrist watch....... and they all came with gift receipts, so he can return them if he wants. We had a great weekend though. I made him a special dinner in my Victoria's secret baby doll. Dont even try to imagine what was for dessert.

I was having a conversation with a friend at work and she was complaining about this ass clown she was dating. He treats her badly and hurts her all the time, the only good thing about him is the sex..... She's been trying to get out of the relationship but cant seem to. I came across some ideas for her and i decided to share it here cuz ive been in such relationships before.....
This post is for all of you ladies that can’t walk away from the sex….

Dick-motosis occurs when a woman is with a guy that sucks in almost every single respect except one: he gives her really good sex. A woman that is dickmotised is in essence, hynotised so much by his good loving that she chooses to overlook or forgive all his other more glaring annoying qualities.
It’s so easy to get dickmotised and yet so hard to get out of. Most stories that I’ve heard of with women sticking for years with men that aren’t good for them are because they are hopelessly hypnotized by his. They put up with all the bull shit out and drama out of bed, because the off the chains sex has got them all weak that they can’t think straight. Their friends are telling them to wake up and snap out of it—but they can’t, they’ve become junkies or c*ckaholics…

So how do your get out of Dickmotosis?

1. Quit Cold Turkey.

Like any bad habit, trying to wean yourself off slowly can take weeks or months. To get out of the dickmotosis, you have to quit him altogether. Break it off, stop taking his calls, his texts and emails.

2. Buy a Vibrator.

An honest to goodness, premium vibrator like the Wanichi Vibe or Hitachi Magic Wand. Get a replacement, albeit an electronic one and start using it to wean yourself off his d*ck. If you are used to getting one or two orgasms from him daily—give yourself 5 in the morning, 2 for lunch and another 2 at night. This will enable you to stop craving his d*ck so much. The vibrator is just like Nicorette for smokers; a substitute to get you through the hard times when you wanna break down and give in to his smooth charms. When you are craving him, zap yourself up with your Electronic Boyfriend.

3. Get a Support Group.

Most girls already have a built in support group in their friends. So tell them you are trying to break yourself of the bad habit of jumping to him whenever Mr. Good Dick crooks his finger at you. That way when you feel yourself breaking, give one of them a ring instead of calling him. They will also help you through the rocky break up patch and give you an emotional lift when you are feeling down.

4. Take a Breather.

Once you get clean from him, don’t be so quick to jump into another dickmotized situation. Sure, sex is great and all, but you don’t want to replace one addiction with another. Learn some new hobbies, travel, join a cause or volunteer. Do something and anything to fill your hours with exciting and great experiences that don’t evolve around sex.

5. Become a Dick Slayer.

This is the final part of the journey. After taking time to learn more about yourself and what pleasures you, you can take steps to learn more about sex and all it’s wild horizons. Flex your Kegels, take a sensuality class, (or even a stripping class). Embrace your sexuality and stop being the recipient; turn yourself into the giver. Take hold of the reins, ride dirty and be the wild, bad girl you were destined to be. That way it will be hard to get dickmotised again, because he’ll be laid out with all the good lovin’ you’ve laid down on him.

The last two weeks have seen some things. Barrack Obama was elected the 44th President of the U.S.A. City Girl found out her baby brother had secrets. I found a job with a good law firm finally. My boyfriend Black and I agreed to keep our relationship quiet for a bit. Now keeping our relationship quiet is something I started to regret 4 hours after agreeing to it. I didn't regret it when my mum called asking to see where I had been. I didn't even think about telling my twin sisters when they called about visiting on the weekend. My brother already knows but he is sworn to secrecy. City Girl is my best friend and she knows my monthly cycle so its a given that she needs to know so no regret there. The rest of my family members are scattered world wide and if they do live in the country they along with my parents are not even aware that Black and I even talk. No, I started regretting my decision right about the time my cousin Tenielle popped on to the scene. Teni is gorgeous. Not in your "oh do you know Teni from next door/down the street" kind of gorgeous. Teni is gorgeous in your "she just looks like Tyra Banks but prettier" sort of way. Growing up we used to call her QUARTER because she is a 1/4 black zambian, 1/4 white zambian, 1/4 latina, 1/4 Hawaiian.

Back in the day she was also friends with Black and in fact most people thought they would date and were quite surprised when he asked me out. It was like Boris Kodjoe asking out a regular girl when he he hangs out with Gabrielle Union. Now I am not saying that I am not cute but what I am saying is that I know that in the beautiful stakes I know I would be in the race as an under dog but I also know my ass would be fortunate to beat the top seed. So anyway there I was chilling with my man, a glass of wine, listening to some neo soul on a rainy Wednesday evening after a hard first day at work when he starts receiving texts like it was an Olympic event. Now I don't normally question men about what texts they get or phone calls they receive BUT this is Black, this is my man so I after the fifth text I simply say " That person must really have a lot of credit, why don't they call you?" To which my man replies casually, "Oh its Teni, she just wants to know where I am because she wanted to come over but because we are not telling people whats up with us at the moment I am just trying to stop her from dropping by." I swear I broke out into a sweat because I was wondering what in the hell she wanted to drop by for at 11.30pm on a weekday. I knew what I was doing there at 11.30pm and it was not just to drop by. Anyway she ended up ringing him anyway to "chat" and an hour later as I lay in bed waiting for my man I was seriously asking myself "why did I agree to keep it quiet again?" Because ladies need to know that he ain't available to be on the phone giggling with them in the wee hours when he should be here making me....

In any case by the time he came to bed it was 2am and we both needed to wake up at 6am. Needless to say I didn't get any loving putting me in a bad mood. The next day as I walked down trendy Collins Street heading to a cafe for lunch who do I see striding her way down the street just looking as fresh as rain. Teni. I plastered on this fake grin I swear I was channeling Heath Ledger's the joker with that smile. So up she comes to me all sunshine and our conversation went like this:
Teni: Hey Cuz long time no see, whats good with you? Probably busy with work because I know it can't be a man keeping you busy.
(you wonder why I know people in my life that say some messed up ish to me like they dont have any sense)
Me: Ha ha hey Teni, yeah just busy with work, life. You know. whats good with you?
Teni: Oh nothing, I am actually on my way to surprise Black at his office. Did you know he was back? I just need to invite him to my birthday party this Friday. I would invite you but you never pitch to these things and besides every one needs a date and I spoke to your mum the other day and she said you were still single.
(Reminder to self to tell my mother that my love life is not a general knowledge fact sheet she should be sharing with family and random people now!)
Me: (FAKE GRIN SPREADS WIDER)....Thats fine probably busy this Friday anyway, have to go on the clock. I had heard he was back but say hi anyway.

As I stalked away from her I swear I was probably leaving smoke behind me because I was pissed. When I got home that afternoon and found Black in my kitchen making us dinner my first question was " Had a nice lunch with Teni did you?". Now Black he just smiled that "I want to take your clothes off smile" because he finds it a turn on when I am jealous because I rarely am. "you jealous baby?" he asked me making his way towards me all slowly and shit. I started to back up, "Let me make this clear, I am a 1/4 jealous...do you hear me..a 1/4 jealous?". He obviously thought it was funny because he was laughing at me within seconds, "Baby" he said "On the table is an invite to Teni's birthday this Friday. In your bedroom is a dress I bought for the occasion at lunch which you can wear with those sexy shoes you have been meaning to wear. On Friday you will be my date...don't stress yourself...besides Teni has a man". Its hard to stay mad when your man does something good, even harder when you know you are going to wipe the smile off your cousins face....I wasn't a 1/4 jealous anymore but aint jealousy a bitch???

P.S Praying for City girl during this time...baby girl life will show you fire at times but its a good thing that God is your firefighter.

Till next time peoples...

Times square was hyper tuesday night.... i voted and it counted! Go Obama. im so happy and emotional. Another issue is driving me crazy and here goes it:

"Dinner at River cafe, 8pm tomorrow night...... come looking really attractive please" read the text i sent to him. Baby bro moved to NYC in June after living in Florida for over six years and i had been trying to hook him up with the many girls that always oohed and aahed when they met him. He's very good looking, no doubt but he worried me that he had never introduced me to any special girl. Boyfriend suggested i introduced him to Andrea (anorexic girl) and hopefully sparks would fly, hence the text i sent on Monday. My mum had been questioning me on who he was seeing or random dates at least, u know mothers!
On Tuesday, I asked Andrea to have dinner with Boyfie and i. Trust home girl to dress really hot. My brother actually showed up, thank God and he seemed he was into her. They talked through dinner and i felt like i did a good job. Andrea was ecstatic at work the next day. She said they made plans for another date. woohoo! baby bro was dating.

Here comes the shocking news, im still numb! I went to 40/40 with boyfie and some of his friends and their girlfriends, u know we did the whole clan thing. I had never met any of the girls before and they all seemed nice, but professional, boring investment people. We started drinking and dancing. It was a blast. I love 40/40 cuz the dj is just too tight. He used to have the hots for one of my friends tho so i could go up to him and request a song. I asked him to play Beyonce's single ladies and boyfie was taunting me, asking if i thought i was single....lol...
Around 1:14am, i remember the time..... who walks in, Baby bro and i was excitedly drunk and wanted to shout across to him. I was stopped in my tracks with the sight in front of me. he had his hands round some dude and they looked too cozy for comfort. I was dazed and dizzy. The next minute, he had his tongue in his throat..... wtf???????????? Every part of me wanted to jump him and punch the living shit out of both of them, but calm boyfie stopped me. He said there may be an explanation. We left the club immediately and he never saw me.
I am confused, should i confront him? what about Andrea, my mother, me? al the people who r getting hurt? Is my little brother who was the worst 16yr old player with girls now gay? Wake me up from this nightmare.......... Im not homophobic but i dont want a gay brother........... SHould i talk to him? or what?????????????

So Black stayed. I would have killed him if he had left but although he felt bad about leaving his friends in the lurch I am sure he forgot about it when we were in the bath together. As the the last strains of Joe's Love Scene faded away and the soulful voices of Floetry's Say Yes began my trembling legs were slowly but surely not shaking as much. In between the music somewhere I could hear Black's and my breathing steady but exhausted. His phone had been switched off and we were lying side by side legs intertwined, sheets thrown off the bed and the scent of sex and vanilla candles were heavy in the air. After all that time apart I realised that it was nothing like I remembered because he and I were more grown. We had learnt things, different positions, liked things a certain way and were not afraid to voice them. For example although I like being on top, I love what I and Black like to call the Nando's full chicken...LOL (use your imaginations and those who need further clarification...uh...uh...ah well ...shame).

I was grateful for the air conditioner in my apartment because it was hot inside and it was hot outside. The music provided a great back drop to the flash backs in my head and my body was tingling remembering each kiss along my thighs, each caress on my body and each toe curling, hands digging into the mattress, body twisting, screaming orgasm. I felt sorry for my neighbours after each session but they had put me through their 2 minute wonder shows for years. It had been a long six months and I don't think I had, had enough. I felt Black stir next to me and pull me to him so that I was cradled in his arm. Our legs still intertwined as he placed his other hand on my hip slowly caressing my skin in circles. You know when the sex is good and you have nothing to say. There is no need for deep and meaningful conversation. My advice to guys out there if your woman is still talking after you have finished you ain't done nothing to shut her up. Believe me bloggers I think I might cancel my gym membership or at least stop going to my aerobics classes.

Sunday morning rolled around very quickly and while we ate breakfast I decided I would go with Black to see if Jack's S.O.S was real and if his dumb ass was in jail. I offered to drive because I wanted to go past Jack's house on the way to the police station to see if his car was outside and lo and behold as I drove down Jack's upmarket street his Black BMW was parked safely in the driveway. I stopped the car and looked at Black whose face was all of a sudden unreadable. All he said was " park". Somewhere inside me my heart was jumping for joy. First, great sex and now Jack's lying, conniving, manipulative ass was about to be caught out. I quickly parked the car and followed Black who had practically jogged to the door and was banging on it. When Jack opened the door he looked like he had been asleep and was surprised to see us.
Black: WTF dude? So you were lying?
Jack: Hey man, listen you didn't come anyway so there is no need to get upset. She (he points at me) is top priority I get it.
Black: That's not what its about man. You said you were in trouble and I asked you is this a joke and you were like its serious. How can you test me like that?
Jack: Look man here is my advice if the P***y was good enough to miss out on coming out with your boys I am not hating on you but remember its your boys you will need when she screws you over like she will because the B***h doesn't know what she wants.

You see that's where he overstepped the mark, he does not know me and he thought the only person he had to fear was Black, now Black does not need to defend me. I defend me. So it was not a coincidence that Black kind of took a step back without Jack noticing, allowing me to step forward and slap that idiot across the face with my clutch bag. It took Jack a second to realise that I had clocked him across the face, he looked towards Black as if he was going to intervene. Black shrugged his shoulders as we backed away from the house back to the car. In the car, Black and I cracked up laughing. I was still laughing when Black leaned over and kissed me. A slow, sensual kiss "I love you B and I have missed you. I want this to be official. How about seeing my parents again for dinner next week?". I had almost forgotten about parents, siblings and friends being involved in this relationship.... am I rushing it even more to say yes to being re-introduced to his parents? I was hoping for the sex to be our focus for a few weeks before we had to bring parents into it. I wasn't concerned about Black's parents they were lovely....I was concerned about mine, they were not exactly fans.

Before I started my seduction plan on black I thought it would be good to reinforce the whole friendship thing we had and just spend a night in hanging out without the sex. Little did I know that if you don't plan for something...its more likely to happen.

We were watching movies and eating junk food at my house on Saturday night. Black and I were just happy, laughing, cracking jokes, making fun of each other, the movies and telling each other old stories. When I went to the kitchen to refill the popcorn, I returned to find him leaning back on the couch, eyes closed head tilted back and rubbing his temples. "Are you ok?" I asked concerned. "just a little headache...nothing to worry about" he replied without opening his eyes. I placed the bowl of popcorn down and went to my bedroom and retrieved a headache ointment my mother gave me when I was working at that stressful law firm. Black was still rubbing his temples when I got back. I leaned over him and removed his hands and started to rub the ointment on his temples. I remember chattering away about the miracles of the oil, how he should probably work less hours to avoid the undue stress, that my mother gave it to me when I started to have migraines...blah blah blah blah.

All of a sudden in seconds I don't remember how or what triggered it but Black pulled me down so that I was straddling his thighs and he had his mouth on mine. Now if this was the movies the stupid idiot of a girl would have stopped to ask "what are we doing"....fear not bloggers...It took my mind exactly 2 seconds to understand the situation and I was not going to question it so I hungrily kissed him back, unbuttoning his shirt the deeper the earth shattering kiss went. I felt like I didn't need air, oxygen or a break, my body was shaking with every touch and as piece after piece of clothing went I was yelling "yes! yes! yes!" in my mind. When with all his strength he lifted me and flipped me on to my back and was over me sucking my earlobe, slowly kissing my neck working his way down I started praying "Lord, Jesus...Oh my God...help me...Oh Lord" (you know the ish is good when a sister starts praying while she is in the middle of sinning). When I started to hear the dull ringing of the phone piercing my hazy sex filled mind with its repetitive annoying tone I really started praying that Black would ignore it and let his tongue and hands continue their outstanding job so far. When I realised that it was not my phone but his my heart beat started to slow down as I felt him pull away to answer the bleeding thing (whoever it was clearly was not hanging up). As he answered the phone I felt kind of exposed in my black and cherry red underwear and tried to cover myself up with a nearby throw while Black stood dwarfing everything in my living room wearing black Armani boxer briefs as comfortable as pie.

15 minutes later he got off the phone a concerned look on his face. "Gotta go babe, it turns out Jack and the crew got busted for DUI and I need to go see what I can do" he said as he started picking up his clothes thrown randomly around the room. I realised I had quite a throwing arm when I saw his shirt had landed in the kitchen somehow. I got up and went up to him blocking his way "You have to leave now? Like you can't stay an extra....(at this point I paused calculating how long a quickie would take)...hmmm like an extra 20 minutes?". He laughed so hard and kissed me on the forehead "you are so precious, you even calculated that...but if I stay 20 then I wont leave at all". In my mind I was thinking how was that a bad thing? "I was also quite mad, Jack was Black's workmate who was a distracting force because he was single and thought all his friends should be single players and as such went out of his way to make Black have limited contact with only one woman and increase his ho-asis database (Jacks words not mine). Jack also knew that Black was spending time with me tonight and that Black was loyal to his friends. I doubted the seriousness of Jack's so called S.O.S because I didn't believe a lawyer at his age would be so dumb to be caught out on a DUI. So I decided that two can play this game.

With that in mind I picked up Black's phone and his car keys which he hadn't spotted yet as he was still tugging on his jeans. When he heard the jangle of keys he looked in my direction and smiled "oh thanks babe,saves me from looking all over the place...please pass them over here will you?" I shook my head and the poor thing looked confused for a second, I had seen the preview and there was no way this man was leaving without me watching the movie and I was prepared to play dirty. I let the throw drop down and started walking backwards up the stairs to my bedroom. Black started following pleading for the keys, "Babe come on I don't have time for this". I shook my head again and took a further three steps up "you know those boys have to stay in there over night, police protocol....so its a serious waste of time and petrol for you to go". I could see Black wavering, the dilemma was in his eyes. To make it a little more difficult I removed my bra and dropped it to the floor. He followed its path and groaned "Come on B, you are making this hard". I smiled and said "and here I thought I was making it easy". He licked his lips trying hard not to look at me standing in only my panties. A further few steps and I was at the top. I went in to my room, removed the panties, came out naked, placed his phone and keys at the top of the stairs and said "there are your keys and phone, if you are going to leave at least pick up my bra when you come up and chuck it on my bed...I'm going to shower". When I looked down at him he was halfway up the stairs still contemplating what to do, I knew he was in a dilemma stay or go? As I turned around to go shower he gasped "When did you get a tattoo on your back? I looked over my shoulder and winked at him "there's a lot about my body you don't know and need to find out...its been a long time you sure you want to wait longer?." I left him there decide.... after all how loyal could he be to his boys?

I am officially in a committed relationship with New guy...... someone shout Hallelujah!!!!!! Firstly his name has to change. he's no more new guy, he will now be called "Boyfriend"...... lol, i cant believe im in a relationship. Remember my last post, i was going to tell him that day that i could not date him and all....... He invited me to dinner that night at some new restaurant down his street. Trust me, i wore a very sexy sage dress and i knew i looked good. Anyway, half way through dinner, he started with the i love u speech and he wants to know what i want from us cuz ive been avoiding the subject (ha! how did he notice??? i was acting well!) Blogvile friends, guess what urs truly said? "i have been meaning to talk to u too and i think i'd love to be your girlfriend exclusively" Boyfriend was very excited and i could see he really liked me. Oh well, ive always wanted to date someone who loved me more than i loved him. Its been going so well. The past 2 weeks have been great. he's been acting like the perfect boyfriend. I made him have a heart to heart conv with my mum and he didnt freak out. Even my brother who always hates the guys he sees me with likes him. Thank you for all ur comments, it helped my decision greatly, I love you guys here!

Speaking of which, remember the Andrea the anorexic colleague of mine? I talked to her and i think she listened cuz she's gradually picking up a healthy eating habit and she told me she's started seeing her doctor again. We've been hanging out together and she lives in boyfriend's apartment building so we sometimes all have dinner. She's a beautiful and smart girl and im thinking of hooking her with my brother cuz its been a while since i saw him with a girl o.

Work's going great, hectic but fun. My love life is so nice and i can say im gradually falling in love. Im just really scared cuz i dont want to be heartbroken again. Any advice on making this really work? what should i do, what should i avoid? I try to give him space, let him hang with his mates and not call or text everyday............ whats ur take?