I listened to you all and saw Black's point of view. I finally caved in when I realised that this was a make-up or break-up situation. So I approached Black and we got everything out on the table. CG telling DJ helped A LOT. Thanks babe! However the uneasiness in our relationship had set in. We had hit that relationship wall where the honeymoon was over and the rose tinted glasses had come off.
What I quickly came to realise is that my man is not easy nor is he cheap to win back. I thought parading around in sexy lingerie might get a rise (excuse the pun) and be the end of it...the only thing he did was get up and say he had to work early. Note to self: when Black is really mad sex in whatever form will be ignored. Ouch! Attempt 1 shot down.
2nd attempt: Dinner.... The easiest way through to a man's heart is food right?
I came home early from work and went straight to his apartment. I was wearing the tightest dress, highest heels, cleavage popping and was able to make from scratch and serve up his favourite meal (peanut pumpkin leaves, roast potatoes, beef stew and chocolate mousse). He came home wolfed everything down, kissed me on the flipping forehead, said thank you, took his lap top and a tower of files to his office.
Never say die I say so attempt No.3 was already forming in my head as I washed the dishes: Call outside forces. Yep I called his friends and sisters, if anyone knew where his head was at it was them. His sisters were totally unsympathetic they all said he was pouting, throwing a hissy fit and should be left to his own devices. Another week of half speak, no eye contact, excruciating silence or polite talk and most importantly no sex and kisses on the cheek/forehead were going to kill me. 3 weeks of this and I was already fed up. His friends were no help either they said and I quote "B, I dont know what you did but he is pissed". Which meant that he was still driving down angry boulevard and was still no where near forgiveness avenue.
Attempt No.4
I decided that men when they mess up they send flowers and a card to your job right? So I went to the florist near Black's work and tried to find the appropriate flowers for a man. Do you bloggers know what a full bouquet of lilies cost? It aint cheap that's all I'm saying. I went back to my office and waited by my phone. That was 1pm. At 4.30pm I got an email message saying. "Thanks. Black". Erm WTF??? I was furious and as I went around picking up my things to get out of the office I was swearing under my breath resolved that he was not going to get a 5th attempt. Thanks??
2days pass. No text messages, no phone calls, no emails. Day 3 I was sitting on my bedroom floor @ 11pm drinking a glass of wine, staring at my defunct stripper pole, feeling extremely sad, lonely and incredibly horny. Then I started crying. CRYING PEOPLE. Never cried over a man in my bleeding life and there I was blubbering....I was paralytic with sadness. I crawled into my bed with my box of kleenex and blubbered myself to sleep. I remember waking up, feeling really warm and this heavy thing around me. I looked at the time and it was 3am. Feeling the heaviness surrounding me I realised in my sleep haze it was an arm firmly placed around my mid section. With the light from my phone I checked to see I was not hallucinating. There my baby lay, in all his chocolate goodness. I could have sat there watching him breathe in and out forever if he hadn't opened one eye squinting "Oi for goodness sake go to sleep its late". You know what bloggers snuggled up to my man on a cold Melbourne winters night, the rain pelting the windows and the wind howling I didn't think about sex or who was right or wrong. I just thought how nice it was to have this and how I had missed it. I might be a convert to all this mushy love stuff after all....
*sigh*....*sigh* again...Yesterday (Saturday) was a gorgeous day in Melbourne. Its daylight savings here so the sun goes down later and rises earlier, the weather is warming up and so is the sexual tension between Black 007 and I. Now followers of the Blog will note that he and I have decided to take things slow by re-establishing our friendship and "seeing where it goes". Bloggers I have a confession this is more Black's idea than it is mine.... I have not had sex in 6 months and holding out for longer when there is someone to help release the tension is crazy in my book...I can resist anything but temptation. However I do realise that jumping into bed with him can set this relationship back a lot because we all know sex complicates things. It creates intimacy,a little addiction, trust and love...all because someone has seen us naked and didn't laugh...(obviously its more than that but you get what I am trying to say...no sex with Black 007 until we are both ready to be in an exclusive, committed relationship). Somehow though I know that this go slow approach only exists because Black 007 wants to be sure that I am sure that I am ready to handle being in a relationship, he wants to be certain that this time I am really ready and open to love and trust a man without sabotaging it. So I have to be patient and really show him that I AM READY FOR HIS LOVE. BUT its hard being patient with this weather...what is it with warm weather and sex? The temperature rises and so does the libido. Black 007 and I went to a Barbie aka BBQ AKA cook out aka braai and while we were sipping on mojito's sitting on lounge chairs looking out at the beautiful beach and the waves crashing he suddenly gets up, leans over me with a cheeky grin, as he stares into my eyes, I could feel our bodies inching towards each other until our lips are inches apart,the he whispers "right now kissing you would be as normal as breathing air but I know I wouldn't be able to stop at your lips"....then he pulls away and walks back into the party. The whole night was really weird after wards because he was acting like nothing happened! Like he didn't leave me in a quivering mess outside busy fantasizing and shit....WTF??? I swear bloggers I was in the zone...I was ready to be taken advantage of and this man pulls back! To make it worse whenever my drink ran out or I needed water he would be right there to lean in, place his large hands on the small of my back and ask in a whisper if I needed anything knowing that his warm breath was tickling my earlobe and sending shivers down my spine right to my happy place. So you can imagine how pissed I was when this man dropped me off, kissed me on the cheek and acted like the electricity in the air was normal. I am on a mission bloggers. I am going to SEDUCE him...I am tired of playing the slow game. He wants me and I want him. So how does someone go about subtly seducing someone ....SUGGESTIONS PEOPLE!!! A male perspective is also wanted...how would you want someone to seduce you? SHONA VIXEN I know you know some subtle seduction items...joll and tune us exse! LOL... Until next time bloggers....watch the video of Floetry..say yes...my inspiration for this mission...
"loving you has taken time (taken time)
but i always knew you could be mine
i recognize the butterflies inside me tonight(tonight)
all you gotta do is say yes"
