I am going to Paris on Monday. I should be excited right? cuz its for a fashion event and the who's who in the fashion industry will be there. A lot of people want this opportunity and will do anything for it. Unfortunately, i am not excited. 2 years ago, yes! i'd be jumping up and down, rushing home to pack. Now, i wish i was not chosen. I'll tell you why. Before i do that, i read some comments about how fab my job is. Ok, i admit, its really glamorous and fab, you get to meet fashion designers, celebrities, models and important clients and also get a lot of free stuff which to to the outside eye, looks perfect. Trust me, im a black girl, size us 6, who constantly has to deal with racist motherfuckers and size 0 models, persuading them to let you dress them. The pay is excellent, the contacts are great but the harshness, the tears, the stress, are another battle. As time goes on, i'd share the good and the bad times of my job. One of the perks is i get to go for fashion events. Hence, this annual Paris event by a famous designer (sorry confidentiality agreement at work, cant mention his name). We r flying first class, staying at a 5 star hotel, good service, u name it. Still i am sad at going. This is due to a senior consultant in our Paris office. His name is Christian. I confess here, ive been very wild. When i broke up with Akin, i threw caution in the wind and got pressured with work and started hanging out with a different crowd, had wild fun, used guys and all. It was on one of these wild ocassions that Christian came to NY. He's french and he's a senior consultant under my division. He's HOT! seriously. i never had a flair for white guys but he's different. Im getting horny just typing about him...lol.... One thing led to another and we had a week long of great sex with no commitment. As per the sex, i have no regrets. we never broke it off. I flew to Paris a couple of times and he came to NY to see me. Our affair was great esp the phone sex aspect. After a couple of months, i got tired of him and i never told him why i cut all contacts. I avoided him when he came to NY and when i went to Paris. He still wants me and i think i secretly still do. C'mon dont judge me :). Now i ve new guy (NG), who i'd be gisting u about soon and i never told NG my past, he doesnt have to know, does he? and even though we are not totally exclusive, i dont want to cheat on him.... It will be hard cuz temptation!!!!! Chris is so romantic.... (drooling). I cant avoid Chris at the event cuz only 3 people get to go from my office and he's one of the group. He emailed me yesterday to tell me he was looking forward to the event esp, to seeing me.
Now see why im not looking forward to the trip. I cant tell my manager im not going, whats my excuse? Its a career booster. I need advice on how to resist Chris, maybe i should tell NG and that may make matters easier, cuz if i know he's aware, i'd be very careful. Ive told Chris im in a rship but he' french, cant be bothered! what will u do if u were in my shoes?
