The shoes....the shoes....and again...the shoes...if he's really sorry...LOL
I can settle for Chanel...Chanel on sale but Chanel still more!
Before you all get up in arms about my disappearance blame Black peoples. Shona and Nefertiti stop rolling your eyes...it was his fault...Temite seriously it was his fault. Why am I trying to prove to you people? I can see Sirius, Toluwa, Danny and even Buttercup just shaking their heads like whatever...So I didn't get married, nor was I in DC which hurts me more than you will ever know! I'm surprised no one said pregnancy K? Thanks for stepping in for me I refuse to tell people how we know each other then I know someone one day will stumble upon this and immediately know who CG, Black and me are.
But seriously I have missed you all! I went on holidays and normally holidays means unlimited blog time but this time around Black BANNED me from facebook and blogging. I was only allowed to access my emails once a day which is hard when you have a blackberry peoples but I had to restrain myself because Black threatened to take that away from me as well. He was all up in arms about a tiny incident after new years. I fainted three times. Once when we were at dinner in a very nice restaurant along the pier. I was mortified because I had worn a very sexy black LBD that CG had got for me for Xmas and had chosen to forgo underwear (I would like to say this was for the aesthetic of the dress but really it was about easy access...*cheeky grin*. Second time at my mothers and third at the after Xmas sales. Anyway Mr-over protective-you might-be ill-lets call 911, forced me to see the doctor the next day who just said it's because of stress, not eating properly blah blah. My mother also tagged along because she said "It might be serious" which in African mother speak is code for "you might be pregnant and I don't trust you to tell me". I tell you I was praying like I have never prayed in my life because unbeknown to Black and my mother my monthly visitor had failed to arrive for at least 2 months prior even though reservations were made (reservations= back pain,pms, cramps, tenderness...sorry Danny..info overload!)
Anyway I was found to be seriously stressed, a little burnt out emotionally and just fatigued. Black felt so guilty because my doctor who has been my doctor since my family moved here asked "Is there anything that you were worried about in the last few months?". My mother was looking quizzically at me like "yes tell us now" and poor Black's face was so guilty. My poor baby! I did tell him though that the Teni thing, work, having my sisters around, my bad eating habits ALL contributed it wasn't just the Teni issue on its own. He still didn't believe me though and got me drum roll.....see Chanel bag picture (people calm yourselves on sale at some silly price, I still couldn't afford it at the sale price but some people make more money than me!)...yep...he bought it as an I'm sorry for not listening to you gift. Now see the picture of the shoes? I tried to push for those as well to see how sorry he really was but he claimed his bank balance was not THAT sorry. Lmao. For now I could only take a picture of the shoes. You should have seen the snooty sales clerk, she came up to me, looked me up and down, smiled at Black and said to him even though I was standing in front of him all 5'5 OF ME.. "Excuse me sir, may you please inform the lady we do not allow pictures to be taken of our merchandise at this establishment". I looked her up and down, side stepped her, snapped the picture and brushed past her as I walked out with Black shaking his head. What was she going to do? I WISH she would have stopped me! I swear those ladies at Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Burberry. You name any high class store in Melbourne where they have security guards at the door the sales girls think they are the second coming of Mary. I'm like please chick we catch the same train after work. I see you on platform one waiting for the 5.25pm express like everyone else, you don't roll in a phantom so please act the way your salary and position demands when anybody comes into the store....with courtesy. You can be as rude to me as you like when you own the store or when you are making millions and are only filling in as a volunteer!
Anyway the big news of 2009 besides President Obama and Michelle, Buttercup and Chari (CG told me about that and I was like what! I told CG though if we were still single we might follow suit..hahaha,just jokes. Strictly dickly over here.). Ok back to the news Teni is dating jack Black's shady friend Jack!!! Black went to dinner with Jack to reconcile (I opted to stay home rather than be there sending out negative vibes). Apparently they met at some Xmas office party and hit it off. The world is coming to an end I tell you. Hide the knives Melbourne if this precious couple come to your dinner parties. Those are two unstable people who need therapy before entering relationships with like minded crazy people. I heard a rumour a long while back that Jack beats his girlfriends but if he thinks he is going to beat Teni its going to go down like that scene in the Colour Purple, where Whoopi Goldberg's character advises the guy who plays Oprah's husband to beat her to keep her in line and the guy ends up getting beat down and Oprah goes back defiant with a black eye to Whoopi and says "You told Harpo to beat me"....LOL classic moment and can see it happening with Jack and Teni. Anyway La familia its so good to be back, I've missed all of you....till next time
