The Adventures of Two City Girls

How are you?

2009-05-25T13:17:00.004-04:00

Hey guys, its been so long.... I have been the definition of BUSY..... just look into ur dictionary, and this is what you will see:

¹busy
Pronunciation:
\ˈbi-zē\
Function:
adjective
Inflected Form(s):
busi·er; busi·est
Etymology:
Middle English bisy, from Old English bisig; akin to Middle Dutch & Middle Low German besich busy
Date:
before 12th century
1 CITY GIRL

Thank God for Memorial Day holiday..... I am in Miami with my boyfriend and some of our friends..... enjoying the beautiful south beach and picnic

Just wanted to say hello and to find out how u guys are..... I will come back and update on what i have been up to, even though my life now is all about work and work......

Thanks Danny Bagucci for checking up on us.....

My mum was in town two weeks ago and there was DRAMA!!!! thankfully not mine this time around... i promise to come back and spill

Have a beautiful week and for those in the US....Happy Memorial Day

Pride and Patience...love costs more than lilies...

2009-04-28T02:21:00.011-04:00

I listened to you all and saw Black's point of view. I finally caved in when I realised that this was a make-up or break-up situation. So I approached Black and we got everything out on the table. CG telling DJ helped A LOT. Thanks babe! However the uneasiness in our relationship had set in. We had hit that relationship wall where the honeymoon was over and the rose tinted glasses had come off.

What I quickly came to realise is that my man is not easy nor is he cheap to win back. I thought parading around in sexy lingerie might get a rise (excuse the pun) and be the end of it...the only thing he did was get up and say he had to work early. Note to self: when Black is really mad sex in whatever form will be ignored. Ouch! Attempt 1 shot down.

2nd attempt: Dinner.... The easiest way through to a man's heart is food right?
I came home early from work and went straight to his apartment. I was wearing the tightest dress, highest heels, cleavage popping and was able to make from scratch and serve up his favourite meal (peanut pumpkin leaves, roast potatoes, beef stew and chocolate mousse). He came home wolfed everything down, kissed me on the flipping forehead, said thank you, took his lap top and a tower of files to his office.

Never say die I say so attempt No.3 was already forming in my head as I washed the dishes: Call outside forces. Yep I called his friends and sisters, if anyone knew where his head was at it was them. His sisters were totally unsympathetic they all said he was pouting, throwing a hissy fit and should be left to his own devices. Another week of half speak, no eye contact, excruciating silence or polite talk and most importantly no sex and kisses on the cheek/forehead were going to kill me. 3 weeks of this and I was already fed up. His friends were no help either they said and I quote "B, I dont know what you did but he is pissed". Which meant that he was still driving down angry boulevard and was still no where near forgiveness avenue.

Attempt No.4
I decided that men when they mess up they send flowers and a card to your job right? So I went to the florist near Black's work and tried to find the appropriate flowers for a man. Do you bloggers know what a full bouquet of lilies cost? It aint cheap that's all I'm saying. I went back to my office and waited by my phone. That was 1pm. At 4.30pm I got an email message saying. "Thanks. Black". Erm WTF??? I was furious and as I went around picking up my things to get out of the office I was swearing under my breath resolved that he was not going to get a 5th attempt. Thanks??

2days pass. No text messages, no phone calls, no emails. Day 3 I was sitting on my bedroom floor @ 11pm drinking a glass of wine, staring at my defunct stripper pole, feeling extremely sad, lonely and incredibly horny. Then I started crying. CRYING PEOPLE. Never cried over a man in my bleeding life and there I was blubbering....I was paralytic with sadness. I crawled into my bed with my box of kleenex and blubbered myself to sleep. I remember waking up, feeling really warm and this heavy thing around me. I looked at the time and it was 3am. Feeling the heaviness surrounding me I realised in my sleep haze it was an arm firmly placed around my mid section. With the light from my phone I checked to see I was not hallucinating. There my baby lay, in all his chocolate goodness. I could have sat there watching him breathe in and out forever if he hadn't opened one eye squinting "Oi for goodness sake go to sleep its late". You know what bloggers snuggled up to my man on a cold Melbourne winters night, the rain pelting the windows and the wind howling I didn't think about sex or who was right or wrong. I just thought how nice it was to have this and how I had missed it. I might be a convert to all this mushy love stuff after all....

...............and the truth shall set you free, or NOT???????

2009-04-22T04:11:00.003-04:00

CG: hey baby, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?

DJ: yea sure, where do u wanna go?

CG: nowhere, i was thinking more like my place, i will cook and u just bring the wine...

DJ: (sounding like he was trying to hold back a giggle) u? cook? really? what do u want from me? or what happened cuz the only time i see u in the kitchen is when you want to get the takeout menus.....

See, i am a really good cook, but i HATE cooking. I dont remember the last time i used my stove. DJ is the cook and he loves it so y bother?
I told him i was in the mood to cook and was going to surprise him, and oh what a surprise he got!
I left work early on monday to go food shopping. I decided to go African and make him pounded yam and vegetable soup, (like my mum's) with all those assorted meat and co. That was one of his fave delicacies and i needed to feed this man in readiness of the talk that was going to take place after.

Let me rewind and tell you what brought this on. I decided to take up my neighbour's persistent invite to their church, yea city girl went to church... thats story for another day, and how i wish i didnt go that sunday. The pastor decided to preach on "Restitution". Out of all the topics talked on in church, this was one i really couldnt stand cuz i dont really understand it. Why go back and restitute when you will only end up hurting more people. The pastor gave examples of blessings we were not receiving cuz we have not restituted our sins. It touched me and i decided to do some restitution of my own, hence the call i made to my boyfriend when i got home from church.

He came over for dinner and ate so much he could barely get up. In our months of dating, i'd only cooked once before monday and he loved it then so i had no worries about him not liking my food. He praised my cooking and asked if i could even make him a pot of the vegetable. Since i knew what was still ahead, i agreed instantly......which took him by surprise cuz he was expecting a hell no!....lol.... that was the beginning of surprises.
So baby, do u wanna go watch CSI Miami? (his fave tv show), its starting. We moved to the couch and cuddled up. Then i started.......... i found myself spilling the australia semi-fling to him word for word, even the fleeing away scene. The only pauses i took was to take some wine for more courage. When i was done, he said "thats OK. so can we see how Horatio will solve this case"?

Bloggers, i was stunned. He didnt move away from me, he even pulled me closer and continued watching TV. I asked him if he had any questions or comments and he said NO.
That was monday, we have not talked about it again, and his attitude has not changed. Is this the calm before the storm? or has he truly forgiven me cuz all ive been doing since then is apologise. He's told me to stop apologising.
I wish i didnt come clean but all thats keeping me going are:

1. I did it to solve the tension black and BG have going on. Now the truth is out, he doesnt have to feel like hes betraying his friend

2. Restitution sets free

3. I want a honest relationship and i will want DJ to be honest with me too

Now all i am going to do is wait for the storm cuz i really dont think he's ok with his girlfriend semi-cheating on him..... Thats my week so far bloggers, how has yours been?

Black its not me....its not you...its Us....

2009-04-14T01:59:00.012-04:00

I was almost certain that CG had taken the fun with her. It was so quiet in my apartment I could almost hear every sound that my surrounding neighbours made. The twins had moved out of Black's apartment in the city to the suburbs nearer to our parents and a good hour drive away from me. Black had so much work on his plate he hardly was ever around and almost always half asleep or not speaking when he was around.

So you can imagine the joy my little heart experienced when my sister Kiki (half of the crazy twins) came over on Saturday night to hang out. Kiki is the responsible and sensible one mostly when she's not being influenced by Lila. Anyway after 2 more glasses of the third bottle of wine Kiki blurted out "I'm seeing this guy,I really like him, don't lecture me about sex please. My issue is that he has more bedroom experience than I and I want to improve my game before I sleep with him. I need tips."

I knew Kiki was sexually conservative to an extent. When CG, Lila, Skittles and I were talking of sexual positions we enjoyed she left the room so embarrassed. I'm a firm believer in knowing what you are getting into and researching the hell out of a topic to get the most out of the learning experience. I brought my assorted things in my sex box from underneath the dungeons of my bed. Without missing a beat or blinking an eye lid at the fact that I kept a sex box underneath my bed Kiki simply brought out her marker and was taking notes and stapled together the photocopied pages I gave her to make into a booklet as a reference guide. So I found myself bonding with my little sister on a Saturday night finding out what positions she knew, liked, disliked, was good at and needed to work on. By 11pm she was pretty sure she had everything she needed and I called her a cab to take her home. On her way out Black arrived from a boys night out not giving me any time to clear up the box. The minute he walked in and saw the box I explained to him about Kiki and from nowhere he got so mad. I knew he was very protective of her but combine concern and a tipsy man...you get foolish drama.

Black: Seriously? WTF? She's like 24 why would you show her those things? You should be teaching her about abstaining for goodness sake.
BG: Abstaining in which house? Do you see hypocrite on my forehead ehn? I have a stripper pole in the middle of my bedroom mate!
Black: Oh now you are making a mockery out of this. All I'm saying is if she was my little sister I would not be bringing the handcuffs and lubrication out & talking about rodeo positions...
BG: But she's not your sister & she did not come in here asking for my judgment. She wanted tips. If little things Ive learned like being able to get honey off a banana without leaving bite marks can be used to help her head game so be it.
Black: BG be serious for two seconds please. You and CG run around on your sexual mature revolution tip and promote things like booty calls, one night stands and sexing like a man but pushing this on to Ki...ah mehn..come on now!
BG: Sorry where the FCUK did we just go in this convo? Are we not just discussing the morality of giving a 24yr old woman sex tips? Then you go say CG and I are what? Are you insinuating we are promiscuous...what the hell Black?
Black: I'm going to bed, this is escalating into something else...
BG: Going to bed where? You want to pontificate about morals and then you as unwed to me as you are want to climb into my bed and sleep in my sheets? Then feel up on me in the middle of the night? Not tonight Papi! Either you explain that shit you just said or get to stepping.
Black: seriously?
BG: Is Ashton Kutcher here somewhere...do I look like I'm joking heh?
Black: Look all I'm saying is your attitude and CG's attitude to sex and relationships are different to Kiki's. I mean come on you and CG think its funny that she realised she loved her boyfriend after nearly having a one night stand with a guy with a small dick. That shit is not right!
BG: Again I do not see the correlation here Black. She came here asking to get some notes on my sexual experience...experience might I add Mr. High and mighty, Mr. Can-I-have-a-pole-dance-tonight-please that YOU have greatly benefited from.
Black: This is not about us this is about you giving tips to a girl who before this was happy being oblivious to BG's sex 101 class
BG: Eh? anh anh...now you have jokes ehe? Ah my friend be careful of this road you are persisting on traveling on....mssscheeeeew. This is about you Black and whatever crap you have been holding onto.

Anyway we went on like this for another hour until we touched upon the real issue of the matter. Black has a guilty conscience DJ being his friend and CG's BF he feels like he's lying to his friend when DJ and him talk. He also was not happy with my so called part in allowing CG to go on dates while she was here (he says allow like I can stop a grown woman like CG). So Bloggers for the last two weeks I do not know where this relationship of mine has been. We are barely civil to each other right now and fighting about what I no longer know. Help...

Its been so long........... Jay's Story

2009-04-06T19:44:00.004-04:00

Apology for going MIA on blogging..... its been a crazy few weeks or even months...

So Australia was fun despite the tons of work i had to handle. I already gisted u guys about Jay, the handsome dude i met at a bar on a boring night...
After we had dinner that thursday evening, we started talking everyday. He always knew the right things to say. He would come down to the centre for lunch, and the days i couldnt leave my desk, we will have lunch in the office. I was getting used to his constant calls and attention. This made me ignore my boyfriend D.J and i blamed it on time difference and work. I dont know why i never told Jay i was in a relationship, i guess its cuz he never asked. He always said the right things and i noticed i was getting carried away. I had promised myself i was not going to cheat on DJ but the temptations were too crazy.

Three days before i was scheduled to leave Melbourne, my boss emailed me and said i had to stay an extra three weeks to supervise the opening of our new office in Melbourne. I was really happy cuz it meant more time with BG and Jay. I felt a little guilty for leaving DJ for so long, but its for work, i had no choice. D.J asked if he should come down for a week since he could fit that in but i refused vehemently saying it was too expensive and i was going to be very busy. Gosh i was in lust with Jay. After a movie night at BG's house, he asked if i wanted to go have midnight drink with him and despite my home gurl's warning, i went with him and we ended up at his apartment. One thing led to another and we started kissing and i guess i had too much to drink cuz we ended in his bedroom

He started undressing me slowly, taking off my black skinny jeans, exposing the midnight blue lacy boy shorts i wore under. I told him he had to take off his shirt too. fast forward to us being semi nude... i was in my bra and shorts and he had on his boxers. At first, i thought it was the alcohol that was messing with my sight and making me miss the huge bulge thats supposed to be in his boxers. He took it off anf alas! what did i see? the tiniest d*** a girl could ever see, and yes its supposed to be erect...........

I ran out of the apartment as fast as i could with the words, im sorry ive got a boyfriend i am in love with......... I jumped into the nearest taxi i could get, leaving him calling after me with such aggressiveness and desperation.....
I could have cheated on D.J, afterall, our relationship is still kinda new but one thing City girl won't do, is f*** a guy with a tiny d***.........

Two weeks later, i got to JFK, flew into my baby's arms and told him for the very first time, that i loved him.............

Bond Girl getting serious about Skittles

2009-03-26T04:17:00.005-04:00

I promised this post for Tigeress who wanted some more insight into my friend Skittles situation. Just a reminder where I introduced her in my last post

I love Skittles she's fun, vivacious, loves colour and life to the fullest. The only area that I wish she would change is her man situation. She has been living with her man TT for 5years. He shows no sign of commitment (he still introduces her to peeps as his "boo thang" )...yeah uh huh...she's 28 years old and does not need a 30 year old referring to her in juvenile terms

You might know a guy like Skittles boyfriend he is in no way a bad guy. He is quite sweet, loving, respectful, appreciative and attentive as far as boyfriend's go. The sticking point in their relationship is his inability to show commitment that moves the relationship forward. In all relationship's you always come to a point in deciding whether you can no longer be where you are at or whether you continue on to the next stage. Stagnant relationships make for unhappy people. It doesn't even apply to just boyfriend and girlfriend relationships, it also applies to friends, ex's, jobs etc. In this case Skittle's and TT have been together for 11 years in total. After 5 years they came to the point of moving in together. Now they are in this stagnant place where she wants marriage and he wants to hold off for a while longer. When she presses him for how much longer she will have to wait he shrugs, is silent or gets angry and tells her to stop nagging him.

Everyone from my mother, her mother to CG, me and to Black himself have told her to put her foot down and request that he put the ring on it. Skittles greatest reason for hesitation was being unsure of TT's response. If she did say its the ring or the end she honestly felt that he would turn around and surprise her by ending the relationship. However she could not go forward and she could not go backward. While she was here, Skittles mind was clearly elsewhere. After bugging her for days finally she admitted to what was worrying her. She was pregnant and had just found out before traveling .You can imagine my shock. CG nearly choked on her wine and Black looked up at the ceiling. Anyway she had already decided to keep the baby and wanted to tell TT the good news. She was very optimistic that this was a sign and it would be the push their relationship needed. When she returned home this week she told TT the news and he went ballistic. He Accused her of trying to trap him (after 11yrs she tries to trap you now?...erm ok)and forcing him into marriage so soon (soon? the man is 30, they own the home they live in and he has a regular high income). I'm sure TT is just freaked out and needs time to comprehend this new development but their situation got me thinking. What was once an issue about choice or decision is now about responsibility and obligation...two words that can kill romance so quick that you will get dizzy.

Like I said although this is a relationship problem this can occur in anyone's relationship. If you are in a job that no longer makes you happy or a friend that no longer provides you with the friendship you require or want you feel suffocated in no man's land waiting for to something to change the situation. If you have an ex that you go back and forth with and always seem to return to the same place again that going nowhere situation will always leave you unhappy, unsure and dissatisfied. Don't let something decide for you what you HAVE to do, make the choice and decide what you WANT and NEED to do.

One of the most eye opening books is Iyanla Vanzant's book In the meantime. Ms Vanzant speak the truth by pointing out that a lot of us are "In the meantime" i.e “When you are not happy where you are and you are not quite sure if you want to leave or how to leave, you are in the meantime.”

People in the meantime:
• You know what is wrong with your ex-lover yet still get drawn in with his/her issues
• You are crying for no apparent reason, and you do not want anyone to know you are crying.
• You have been fired or laid off.
• You are separated or recently divorced.
• You haven’t had any dates in the last nine months.
• You are not married but have been sharing toothpaste and closet space and still aren’t sure this is what you want to be doing.
• You are not married, do not share toothpaste, and have given up on dating.

And here is what is probably going through your mind:
Don't know why I can't go. Don't know why I should stay. Don't know where I'm going. Don't know how I am going to get there, wherever there is.

Well Bond Girl likes to keep it light in her posts but this one is serious and close to her heart so what does Blogville think? Am I right is it best to make the hard decision to let go before something happens and its made for you?

Bond Girl S'pecially for you...

2009-03-16T03:18:00.006-04:00

Having not seen Black this whole week it was kind of a thrill to be able to call him to make plans about our weekend rendezvous. We both normally finish quite late on a Friday but I actually managed to leave work by midday (when I’m on a mission I can finish a pile of work so quickly it will make my own head spin) and Black had shuffled his day around to be able to leave by 6pm. By 1pm I was at Crown Spa Complex getting myself waxed, plucked, manicured, pedicured, scrubbed, painted, massaged and lathered up with vanilla mousse lotion. By 2.30pm I thought what the heck lets fix the hair while I’m at it. I drove to my hairdresser who was actually more than accommodating seeing that I had no appointment to shampoo, straighten and highlight my bob cut (yes I was one of the black girls who jumped on the Rihanna bob cut and no I don‘t have a big forehead but I rock that fringe/bangs). By 4pm I was driving back to the hotel scattering rose petals, ordering champagne on ice for our arrival later, asking for scented candles, making sure I had brought the massage oil kit (shout out to the twins for my xmas gift).

By 5.55pm I was standing in front of my car waiting for Black in front of his office complex. I was feeling a little vulnerable and paranoid especially since I was wearing a trench coat and the best lingerie ensemble CG’s money could buy courtesy of Victoria Secret (Shout out to the ladies in Crown Plaza who in 20 minutes found me the above piece* and who got me the free entry to the Crown Spa Complex- it pays to smile and be nice!).

By the time we were entering the lobby of the hotel I was feeling so tired and exhausted. My early morning starts and very late finishes were catching up with me but I was happy I was getting some time out. Our hotel suite was on the 16th floor and at the 4th floor Black jokingly said “ Ok now show me what you got little mama” …he didn’t expect me to flash him of course but I did…lol…by his wide eyes and open mouth it looked like he approved. Unfortunately for him on the 5th floor another couple got on the elevator with us. Having seen a glimpse of the goodies he kept poking me (with his finger get your mind out of the gutter Shona!) saying “baby if we get off here and take the stairs it will be quicker”. Um yeah right…in these heels? The man was crazy…I told him to stop poking me otherwise his finger would be the only thing poking me that weekend. He immediately stopped but when we got to the 16th floor he grabbed my hand and rushed out of the elevator heading left (our suite was on the right). “Eh Eh….you don’t even know where you are going!” I said to him. Impatiently he snapped at me…”So bloody well tell me then”. Excuse me? Blogville I stopped dead in my tracks, hands on my hips, head doing its exorcist turn, foot tapping “Eh? What did you just say?”. Never seen a man apologise so quickly …stumbling and stuttering over words…lmao.

Needless to say that once we were inside the room (he didn’t even take stock of the petals, candles and champagne….after all the work…) In between removing the trench coat and kissing I was asking him “So baby you like the room?” he answered distracted.. “Yeah beautiful, yep great…lovely…baby what kind of trench coat is this? It has buttons and was it necessary to button all of them?”.
*roll eyes* clearly the vanilla scented candles had no relevance at that point. The last thing I remember was him lifting me and placing me on the bed. Now blogville before you judge let me point out that this week I have been getting a maximum of 4hours of sleep, running around work and hosting CG….so I didn’t mean to fall asleep while my man was kissing on my neck…I really didn’t. When I did wake up, I could sense he was watching me. Cocking one eye open, I saw him lounging in a chair facing me, with this unimpressed look on his face… I sneaked a loom at the bedside table clock praying I hadn’t fallen asleep for to long…it read 10pm (I had been out for 3hrs) I smiled sheepishly at him. He stared me down and said “ Now that you are rested…you better bring you’re A game…I’m expecting Cirque du Soliel type moves in this room tonight”. I would have laughed but the dead pan look on his face was telling me to play it safe. Please tell me I’m not the only one to ever do this? LOL, I did make it up to him…I did but he is still grumbling about this. Especially because CG keeps pretending to fall asleep during conversations with him and saying “Dang sorry…did I fall sleep?”. NOT HELPING CG…NOT HELPING AT ALL!

I promised Tigeress to write a post about my friend Skittles who is going through some drama's with her man. Tigeress next post will be it ok? Hopefully her drinking session with CG had her thinking about other things over the weekend...like the hangover's they have been nursing...just looking at them I can see the debauchery written on their face....makes me wonder what they got up to.....hmmm well I need to leave this office now...my Monday is almost over. Have a great week everyone!

*Disclaimer...that is not me in the picture...that is the lingerie CG bought for me.

Bonding time to find out that the grass is not always greener

2009-03-11T07:10:00.004-04:00

The grass is always greener on the other side but that's just mostly because you spend most of your time looking at someone else water their garden than do anything with yours. Black is my garden...the one area of my life EVERYONE tells me that is perfect or that I am so lucky to have. Let me say that he is great but he has his flaws just as much as anyone else and if you were to ask CG she says that she could never date Black because he's too involved in a relationship (she likes her space, her distance). Now Teni thought she needed Black because he was the right fit for her and fast forward to now I see her looking happier, healthier and more sane with Jack than I have ever seen her. Her mother has glowing reports of how she has changed so much...she still gives me withering glances when she see's me out and about but honestly you can tell there is a different person in there...her heart is not in the evil looks as much...lol The devil maybe losing his number one draft pick...

Anyway so on to what got me started on this post. My good friend Skittles flew down early from Sydney to hang with CG and I during the upcoming L'Oreal Fashion Festival next week. I love Skittles she's fun, vivacious, loves colour and life to the fullest. The only area that I wish she would change is her man situation. She has been living with her man TT for 5years. He shows no sign of commitment (he still introduces her to peeps as his "boo thang" )...yeah uh huh...she's 28 years old and does not need a 30 year old referring to her in juvenile terms. Anyway she was going on about how Black was perfect blah blah so I would not understand her situation. When I tell people Black and I fight..they get this puzzled look and normally ask "about what? Why you gotta stress him girl?". So I decided that as much as I love my baby I am going to list his faults and mine as well...because hell I'm not perfect either..

First off he's always in my family issues from the jump off. Even when I first met him as a teen I was having family issues and he wanted to be the counselor extraordinaire. Sometimes I just want him to let me handle it or not handle it. On the flip side I need to let go and let people in more but I get scared that if I become too reliant on a man to solve my problems then I will be useless if the man were to leave.

He trusts way too much and I would say he's a bit naive when it comes to girls. Girls will seriously be trying to set up a one night situation and he won't see it coming until too late. Look at the Teni situation, he believed her lies way too much and couldn't see that she was romantically infatuated with him. I on the other hand don't trust anybody until you have given me reason to. I am a hard nut to crack...I believe the worst before I believe the best.

He's a workaholic...he's cut down a lot recently though. His last Blackberry died a tragic death because I was talking to him about something important at dinner and he was busy replying a work email. I snatched it off him and dunked it in the restaurant's fish tank next to the huge lobster. From this you can see I have a temper and I'm impulsive right? LOL...I did replace it with my own money though..*sheepishly grins?*

He is always late...Oh lawd I have tried everything to train this man to be early. I have promised sexual, work and domestic favours. He still is late. It does not help that I am always early for everything I do. So if he is late by 15mins it means I have been waiting for 30mins because I was there 15mins earlier.

He is impatient. If he wants something he wants it now. If he waits for something then its really important.

When I get mad I don't pause to think or try and calm myself down. I will cut you first and think about it later....just joking but you get it right? It is only through knowing people like CG and Black who have calmed me down a lot that 60% of my encounters with people have been deescalated because I took a step back.

Ok those are some of the faults if I continued I might not have a boyfriend at the end of it...lol. What about you guys what are your faults?

On a separate note: This Friday & Saturday night I really have to take some time to chill with Black I have been neglecting him so much since CG came and what makes it worse is that he's been busy with work and so have I. I think I have seen him once in the last 5 days, spoken to him twice and emailed him the rest of time. You can't conduct a relationship via email can you? CG is taking me shopping (Victoria's Secret...her treat..yay) and giving us her hotel room to use... so hopefully I can pick up some sexy pieces and try and make it up to him. I'm thinking though that if I work my butt off this week by Friday I can leave work early...I will go cliche, wear lingerie under a trench coat (pray there are no gusts of wind), pick him up from work and go direct to the hotel where I can pamper him. Good idea? Does anyone realise that being in a relationship you work harder at it than when you were single and looking for a man? Seriously when I was single and mingling the effort I put in was not anywhere near the effort I put in keeping this relationship going. When I say work I do not mean it as a chore, I enjoy juggling my work, friends, family and him and it is a big ask but fun too because it fills my days.

Hope you are all good! Shout out to the regulars for showing love on this blog...we read although we may not always write on your blogs! (Bumight, Tigeress, Danny B, Temite, Shona aka Mai sexy, Miss DM, Haddasah, Nefertiti, Buttercup, Afrobabe, Toluwa) Stay well xxxx

** SIRIUS** babe I was so sure I had listed you here...so shout out to SIRIUS and Qube Word Smith and Mike!

Fighting Temptations..............

2009-03-06T05:02:00.002-05:00

Its been a long ass week......... im so glad its friday night cuz ive major plans...... im taking melbourne by storm....lol.... we r hitting the clubs tonight. shoot, ive to get dressed now!

Lets rewind..........i was so nervous and excited all through the long haul flight. I was finally seeing my girl, my sidekick, my one and only (ok i have to be nice so she can feed me). I opted to stay with her despite the company booking me into a room at Crown towers and its so annoying, i dont have the cash option so i still have the hotel key. Maybe if BG decides to hook me up with a casual fling, it may be useful...lol

Work has been crazy. Please the next time i talk about an upcoming out of town project, pls snap me out of it. I am saying NO to out of state projects for at least one year. From packing (with the unpredictable Australian weather), to the stupid ass customs..... Quick story, i paid $250 to fix my Brazillian virgin hair (the stupid weave cost me so much money to buy ) cuz i decided i had to look trendy for my work/vacation. Feeling good with myself, i walked through customs after claiming my luggage and lo and behold! i found myself taken to a room for a quick search. Apparently, customs have now caught on to the possibility of drugs being smuggled under our “fake hair”. I was so pissed, cant even explain to you guys....

Tuesday evening, i went for dinner and drinks with BG at a place called Ondergrounds ...... and wait for it......... i met a guy! Tall, white and cute with blue eyes. just like i like them.... I know, you dont have to tell me, i have a man that loves me...bla, bla bla!!!!!
Anyway, i sat at the bar with BG and ordered some signature cocktails, i requested for my usual appletini and the bar dude told us the drinks were on this guy, lets call him Jay. Let me confess here that i can be a huge flirt and in a new town, i brought my A game!!!! He looked so handsome with his polo shirt, dark jeans and some gorgeous looking shoes.. I winked at him and mouthed thanks. Taking that as his cue, he walks over and started talking in that aussie accent: the good one! my knees started shaking. see a casual fling staring right in front of me. Oh my! i need help. BG took over as she realised i had started stuttering. Dont blame me, i was lusting with no boundaries. He introduced himself to us and asked if it was ok he joined us with his friend....... Drama! Friend comes over and guess who?????? wait.......... erm.......... BG's ex! I had heard so much about the effer and seen pictures and we are supposed to hate him so u can imagine the complication. It was shocking. BG's ex excused himself almost immediately but left Jay. Hallelujah! I really dont remember how we got through the night, i think i had over 7 drinks and was on the verge of getting drunk. He is so fun to talk to. I told him i was on a work assignment and he asked for my address and number. I dont know why i gave him. Guess i couldnt resist his blue eyes.... Why am i a sucker for casual flings with white guys????????? Ok, im not saying abything is going to happen between us but hey, ive got like 3 weeks to go, who knows what wil happen. Anyway i digress

This morning, i got a bouquet of flowers at work, which apparently went round the whole offices cuz they were trying to figure out who CG was..... (note im an external consultant, i think i should have told him no one really knew my name) and the card that came with it read " dinner tomorrow?"
He called me later in the afternoon and i had to say yes. In the words of BG, let him keep u company while ur here, so u'd appreciate D.J when u get back to NY......
I have not told Black yet...lol, he's gonna freak and be upset, i think! Im a big girl, i can handle myself.... and he better not be reading this post cuz BG will be in trouble for her advice....lol

I see Jay as a good distraction and who knows? maybe we could use my empty room at Crown Towers. Right now, im going to focus on what to wear for dinner tomorrow.

P:s- pls note, i DO NOT condone any form of cheating in a relationship.....lol......... i am not cheating on D.J.... I am just making friends with Jay, who knows when i will need him in future.........

Black is in love with a stripper....LONG POST ALERT!

2009-03-03T09:35:00.004-05:00

So Friday, 7am, running around in my black lace, cherry Laperla underwear was not my idea of being cool, calm , collected and organised for CG‘s arrival. HOWEVER if someone had not insisted on first thing in the morning nookie and had STUCK to the promise of “baby it will only be a quickie…15mins tops” I would NOT be jumping from foot to foot trying to fit into a pair of jeans, touch up the weave, do my make up, find my car keys and find the right pair of heels. Anyway finally fitting into the jeans and heels to match I was nearly on my way to the airport when Black who was lying on my bed looking oh so rested and casual cleared his throat and pointed at the lack of coverage on the top half of my body. I was wearing just my bra …quickly delving back into the wardrobe I found a white, tight singlet, chucked on my oversized wrap around sunglasses and ran out of the apartment at top speed to pick up CG and the twins. I was able to get to the airport in 45 minutes when it should have taken me double that in the horrific traffic only to find out that CG and the twins were held up in customs. An hour later they emerge looking hella pissed pushing their luggage with this air of “Just get us out of here”. Once we had all kissed each other hello and piled into my car, which had a ticket for being parked over time in the short term parking (thanks parking attendants at Tullamarine airport) CG pointed to her weave which looked a bit ruffled and said “ Do you see your customs people acting like they are the CIA in my hair?” Apparently…WARNING to black female, weave wearers of the world customs have now caught on to the possibility of drugs being smuggled under our “fake hair” a point which CG had to debate with them for 15mins because as she puts it… “its my real hair because I paid for it”.
************************************************************************************
Saturday afternoon I took CG with me to my pole dancing class (its good for toning….and some other stuff that I have forgotten about right now) and walking back from class to my car CG see’s this sex store and drags me in there. I was still shocked by half the appliances up front when I realised CG had disappeared and could see her bum wiggling in the air right down the back of the shop. She finally straightens up with a portable stripper pole in one hand and purse in the other with a determined look. I started to shake my head because I knew that stripper pole was not being bought for her as a memento on her trip. Ignoring my refusals and excuses she paid for it and I looked sheepish and embarrassed as the cashier rang up the price (those interested…a portable pole goes for $50AUD). Carrying that pole to my car and then to my apartment I looked mortified at the stares we were getting…CG on the other hand looked at me and said “Oh what? Now you're embarrassed? You take pole dancing classes and you have no pole at home….how do you expect to excel or maintain….don’t be half arsed about it now. Some of these heifers wished they could do a split while hanging upside down on a pole…you got skills baby…SKILLS!”. Needless to say the shine in black’s eyes and the sudden skip to his step was impossible to notice. He has never offered so quickly to put up anything. I bought a beautiful full length mirror last week that took me 3 days of nagging to get him to finally hang up for me….the stripper pole took him all of 30mins to have it up. Just to wipe the smile off his face I reminded him that as CG was staying with me any pole dancing would have to be done after she leaves (of course that’s not true but it sure as hell stopped him from whistling “I am in love with a stripper”). That very same night we went to a well known Gentleman’s club to “witness a practical demonstration” as CG put it…again Black was happy as pie…You can see why he and CG are good friends right? ************************************************************************************
I honestly thought CG would have some time to chill with me during the week days but her job is a lot more hectic than I gave her credit for. Being a fashion consultant to a department stores is harder than to individual clients because you need to recommend fashion pieces that the department stores clientele will be able to purchase but also happens to maintain and at times elevate the department stores style reputation as well. I spent a whole hour with CG at work and instantly craved my office where my phone rings every 15 minutes, my files although high never intimidate me, my lunch hour is exactly an hour, never is it subject to change without notice and where clients and work colleagues do not barge into my office unannounced and stressed to the max! Although I have to wonder how she keeps her mind focused when you have half naked male models being paraded in front of you so that you can view the new Peter Alexander pajama wear for ‘09 or why her assistants just look down right sexy…
No fair huh? Sorry its been a long post but thought I should update you guys because Eish the coming weekend’s and weeks are looking a tad busy…. I have not even had time to question the twins properly…but I will do my best to update you all…xxx

She's leaving on a jet plane to come and put back the F U in FUN!

2009-02-26T07:48:00.009-05:00

I have to love blogville...the minute I mentioned big news you all ran to marriage and pregnancy. I feel kind of bad letting you all down with the news that there is no marriage or babies on the way! Unfortunately the news I have is reunion related...bigger than a Destiny's Child Reunion! Now you all know bloggers that CG and I have not seen each other since we were young kids but have managed to maintain a friendship across the seas and due to CG's work schedule which has never ever coincided with my holiday plans and vice versa we have always managed to miss opportunities to meet up. In the mean time though our parents, siblings, friends and in my case boyfriend have managed to rack up enough frequent flyer miles to visit the other. CG's brother stayed with me for 6 months 2 years ago when he schooled here, her parents and mine have gone on two cruises together, When Black left Australia to work in the States first person he looked up was CG.

Tomorrow though its all going to change. Tomorrow my girl CG is flying in. I have my place hoovered, dusted, stocked with food and alcohol like I am preparing for war. AND that's what it is... war on Melbourne nightlife! CG AND BG in the same city again....what you know bout FUN? She's packed her designer what not's and is currently in the air somewhere ready to land @ 7am. Granted she is coming to do some work for department store Myer for a month but her work schedule will be quite light compared to the minimum 16 hour days she pulls when she's in the States or Europe. When she told me about it last week I thought she was joking...a whole month..CG and I? Ooooh lawd....let the fun begin! Black is already rescheduling dates we had planned and organising boys nights out...he knows the drill! Yes, she is coming with the twins and leaving her man behind for a month. However she needs the break, I think she is a bit concerned about the whole MOVING IN with her man thing. I hope she doesn't tie up my phone line with her phone sex habits over here...lol

SPEAKING OF THE TWINS.....
Now you have heard me mention Kiki and Lila my twin sisters. They are both 24, feisty, stubborn, outrageous, downright crazy, out spoken and daring. However they are also loving, compassionate, loyal, fashionable, smart and creative. These girls make me go crazy sometimes but I love them..truly I do...just not this week. The girls both finished degrees in Finance/Accounting. When they finished the degrees they told my parents they did not want to come home because they were interested in doing their masters. Mr parents happy their children were suggesting further education readily agreed sending them money to extend their visa's, school fees and living expenses. Over Xmas and New Year I knew they were kinda off their game because damn the holiday season was tame for them. No boys calling up, hanging around...no huge parties or even drinking sessions. Even Lila's man Terence who was home for the holidays wasn't seen! Both of them just chilled at my apartment, hung out with family, caught up with few friends and went to the gym. THAT is unusual behaviour for my sisters....there was not one huge party they JUST HAD to go to AND there was no sneaking out and returning @ dawn. Very weird....

When they returned to NY...ish hit the fan. Lila was found out that she hadn't been to school in months nor had she been working. While Kiki had quit school and started to work to cover their living expenses. Now here comes my suspicion and I know my sisters read this blog...so hopefully they will read this and have the courage to tell me WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG?? Something went down with Lila's man because he has not been mentioned in months. I saw the fool at a club the other week dancing with these girls and I asked Lila what he was a)still doing in Australia and b) why he was grinding and gyrating with a bunch of girls drunk off his face? All of a sudden she had somewhere to be. This was strange because if you think Black and I are inseparable Lila and her man Terence are..sorry I mean were like a married couple. Although Terence is not my favourite person they seemed to be going the distance after 3 years together. Black tried to talk to him to see what was up and was RUDELY told that "until he marries into the family it aint none of his business". He lucky I was holding Black back... I asked CG to investigate and Lila damn near bit her head off telling her to mind her own business, CG just gave her this look like "who do you think you are speaking to?". Although Lila apologized she still didn't spill the beans. I don't know whats up but I KNOW something is up and I WILL get to the bottom of it. I know Kiki is covering up for Lila...I know it because she is the only one who returned the school fee money back to my parents. Lila on the other hand has been very quiet on the subject when normally her ass is so vocal on everything else!

In the mean time I am off the wall crazy happy my girl is coming home and although I would have preferred better circumstances I am glad the twins are coming as well. Hopefully being around CG, Black and I will give them the confidence to say something and then when all is said and done maybe we can put back that F U in FUN....

Questions answered by Black & BG...LONG POST ALERT

2009-02-20T02:54:00.009-05:00

Shona Vixen batter up...
FOR BG
a)What song reminds you of Black and makes you want to go and rip his clothes off?(This is a song you'll hear on your i-pod on ur way to work or something and you'll be like I'm doing him tonite!'..lol..
Black has a cd which has a triple threat on it and he normally plays it when I’m mad at him. Like yesterday I was angry at him and driving from work just about 15mins from his house, he pop’s in the triple threat Cd. It starts with Tyrese’s…On top of me, Usher‘s nice and slow, then Janet‘s Would you mind. (Those jams are my ish, I see fire when I hear them...worse if I am tipsy!) By the time Usher was singing “it‘s 7 O‘clock on the dot I‘m in my drop top cruising the streets” I was like pull over you drive, can’t even bleeding concentrate! Even then he was lucky he was not molested in the ride up to his apartment (those elevators if they had camera’s)….damn, I’m so weak…the Devil knows my first name I tell you!

b)Would you ever go back to Zambia?
I have been “advised” by Black that Zambia is our holiday destination/ emergency evacuation country when Zim or the Miz as he calls it is “under pressure”. So I would be living in Zim…. He misses his hang out joint “the Keg” I think its called.

Do you agree that the Vic Falls belongs to Zimbabwe?..lol..this is to tick K off as well..lol….
I zip my mouth on this one, K and I are going shopping Saturday...over to Black:
As a young man H-Town was my play ground, St Georges boy for life and Borrowdale was my hood. So ssssshhhhh but K knows that the best views are on our side, tourism is only down because of Uncle Bob however the falls belong to Zimbabwe…we lease the rest. LOL. When she see’s I have posted this heads will roll…I officially blame you Shona! Queen BG is zipping her mouth she might lose K as her drinking buddy

FOR BLACK
a)What BG's sexiest outfit (i know all are sexy..i trust my girl) BUT what's the one that makes you want to tear it off??...LOL..
She has this purple halter neck, backless dress, form fitting, knee length she wears with these Black sky high gladiator heels. The best part of the dress is the back and not only for the obvious reasons (my baby was truly blessed in the Beyonce department). The dress is backless you can see her small tattoo of Africa on her left shoulder.

Next Batter up is Bumtight...
my questions is :
1. how long have u been dating black?
When I was 16 (the first time I met him), we dated for 4 years. Now we have been dating for 4 or 5 months I think…LOL, Black’s eyeballing me …like I need to know the exact date….mssccheeewww
2. your last biggest fight. when? what was it about?
Our last biggest fight was this week, last night to be exact. Black admitted he was wrong. It’s to do with my sisters who want to move back to Australia (they are currently living in New York). My mother won’t let them come stay with her because they have not been attending uni and generally taking the piss out of their education. So our parents said fine work if you are not in school. They were not finding jobs just partying. Now they are broke, jobless, rent is due, their lease is up and they expect to be bailed out. They were just here for Xmas and knew all this was going down and never said anything to anyone. I can’t let them stay with me because there is not enough room for them long term…but BLACK goes and tells the girls its ok they can stay in his spare room AND then said he will sort out their rent issues this month. I think its ridiculous those two were messing about and now they are being bailed out. Eish this deserves a whole post on its own. Black is just a soft touch. Me not so easy.

Disclaimer from Black: I am hoping B does not see this when I post it she was completely in the wrong but I let her think she’s right because date night is tonight….I need her in the right mood.

Miss Temite step to the plate...
Question for Black - Do you have any Brothers? Seriously! Cuz I wouldnt mind moveing to Australia or Zambia, even Antartica sef. I must have a channel bag and a man who loves me to o. and do you seriously have any faults? Seriously!
LOL. Temite I was told about you. Alas I am the only boy in the family but I do happen to have a lot of male cousins to make up for it. B always says that if things don’t work out with us she has a back up plan in the form of my cousins. So maybe you can ask her who she is eyeing…possibly at the same time passing on the info to me?

Questions for you Bondy boo - Are you in need of another little sister? I know you have the twins but.... Cuz I woudnt mind being adopted! seriously.
Ah the twins are a handful Temi! Especially this week, they are so in trouble with me its not funny. I am thinking of disowning them so you have a very good chance this week of being adopted…..mssssccccheeeew….at least you are behaved those two give me blood pressure.

Next the regal Nefertiti...
So my questions are:
* How old are you? 26
* How did you meet CG?
City girl and I met when we were 5 years old, our fathers worked for the same mining company in Zambia (ZCCM). Our families have always been joined to the hip so to speak and we were best friends until we were separated at age 7. I moved to Australia, and CG moved back to Nigeria. Then she moved to the UK and finally she now resides in the Big Apple.
* Why did you decide to live in australia?
It was my father’s decision after his contract with the mining company ended as it was being privatised . My father then decided to change professions and come to Australia and study law taking us with him.

* Where is Black from?
He’s Zambian/Zimbabwean. His mother is Zambian and his father is Zimbabwean. They first lived in Bulawayo for a few years and then to Harare. Then his father was offered a position by his company to work here in Australia.

Our Alpha male, the man amongst the beauties... Danny Bagucci
1. for Black -- what, when or where did he finally realize you were the one?
Well, Danny this is probably going to give her a big head but honestly I fell in love with her because she surprises me. When girls or guys meet her they think she cracks the whip hard and lets face it a bit of a bitch. What they don’t realise is that when you get into her heart she graces you with such unconditional love and support that you feel so comfortable being just you with her. She has a small, tight circle of friends spread out all over the world who she would die or kill for. That is no joke either. I guess I just love the duality in her, that is she can be like an angel from heaven to her loved ones but cross her path and even the Devil gets scared of riding with her. I realised she’s the one for me last year while I was in New York actually. I knew I loved her but didn’t know I could not live without her until we were apart. Sounds really sad but God knows its true.

2. Do you ever think about heading back to Africa eventually on a long term basis??
Madam and I share this dream in particular. I always say that “from the red soil we came, from the red soil we shall return for our souls reside in Africa though our bodies travel the world”. Its imperative that the African diaspora realises and really follows through with its legacy of building a greater Africa. Ok I have to stop there B is shaking her head at me in that don’t you get started on your call to progress on her blog,

Last but surely not least...new blogger...2Hawt
your job sounds really intresting...how did you get into it?
I am a legal researcher, interesting at times boring at others. City Girl’s job as a fashion stylist/consultant/ advisor is more glamorous and pays WAY better than mine…the only time that I have ever seen a Jimmy Choo is when she sent a pair for my birthday last year. I got into my job because my father is a lawyer and I grew up loving the law and always researching, reading, debating, politics. So the legal field just felt right for me. Although I am qualified to practise law, I do not…the only 2 lawyers I trust and think that have a soul are Black and my father.

What do you do for fun?
Swimming in the summer is my ish. I could live at the beach and it’s a good thing my parents have a beach house. I love watching football (fav team Manchester United). I love reading, writing, blogging, going out for dinners, SHOPPING!!! Especially shoes…the higher the better! I’m not a club girl but used to be…I only miss it now for the sake of dancing. Case in point last week I dragged Black to the club in order to hear that new JT song. I love going to museums, art gallery openings, poetry and jazz nights.

That's it folks see you next week...in the mean time if you are going to be naughty be nice as well....

The Valentine's weekend

2009-02-15T19:03:00.002-05:00

Hey guys, did you have fun yesterday? In the spirit of love, i decided to finally talk to my brother. I invited him for a Valentine's day dinner at my house with my boyfriend, D.J (im realising this is the first time im mentioning his alias) and i told him he could bring a date.
I realized it was time i embraced his coming out, even though i had to find out at a bar, and try to mend things between us. Did i tell u guys i stopped picking up his calls, i refused to see him. He tried to get to me through D.J but i just couldnt handle talking to him.

Anyway, D.J cooked and four of us sat down to dinner. I must say that man can cook! My brother came with his date, and from what he said, they had been dating for 3 weeks. They seemed happy and i guess i'd just have to get used to seeing my lil brother with a man......... gosh!!!!!!!!!!!
Thankfully, dinner went well, i got hair tips from my brother's boyfriend (doesnt even sound right) and a date to go shopping with him. I must say, i have nothing against gays.... i have a close friend here thats gay. Guess its cuz i never saw this coming, hence the shock. We all got along well and im so glad for BG, Black and D.J's support through it all.

After dinner, it was time for D.J and i's proper valentine celebration. I like my baby so much, he got me a tiffany necklace that ive been lusting after, a personalized build a bear hello kitty and yep, no Vals day is complete without a cake for me....... Thankfully, i got him what i can see he appreciated.... 3 different Wii games (what is it with men and their toys!), and an initialized bracelet..... And no, im not telling u what went on at night.
He was romantic all weekend and took me for an early breakfast today. He kept telling me how much he loved me, but i can bring myself to still say it....... i think im ready to say it back.... how do i say it back? im glad he's been understanding so far.... though the moving in issue is still hanging in the air

Have a great week guys and as BG said, something huge is in the air..... so wait for it

Black don't do Valentine's Day

2009-02-12T04:33:00.003-05:00

Its funny that of all the things that Black would choose not to celebrate Valentine's Day is the last one that most people would guess. He has a serious dislike for it. Me I'm easy either way...no V day or yay V day don't really care. All day today people have been asking me "What are you and Black doing?, So is Black planning something big?". Then see their faces change in shock when I roll my eyes and say in a monotone voice, "We are doing nothing, Black is planning nothing because he does not celebrate Valentines Day". Somehow no one believes me. Everyone see's me as the hard Biatch who has probably told Black to not plan anything but seriously Blogville it's not me! You might ask why this man is not big on Valentines Day well according to Black he loves me every other day so what is he meant to do on the 14th of February...love me to death? His reasoning not mine. So if you guys were expecting a mushy lovey dovey love fest featuring Black and I'm sorry to disappoint, the only thing extra I'm getting is in the boudoir.... Maybe City Girl might have something going on...I pray she does because otherwise there will only be dry gist here for you guys...

Random side track: Erm where have I been apparently Chris Brown did a Bobby Brown on the Barbados princess? Wait a second I need to tell Black because he is in love with that girl even with her big forehead! ....Alright I'm back....Um yeah Chris Brown if you meet Black anywhere in the near future my advice is Run It Run IT!

Fire news: Ok back to the post and this life of ours. Black and I are hosting a Bush Fire party to raise funds for our friends who have lost their homes in the bush fires. It is really sad, Black's secretary lost her home and still came into work the next day because she didn't want to let him down. So much love goes to SIRIUS who came to see if we were still alive! Thanks SIRIUS babe!!!!!!!!!

QUESTION TIME:
I'm asking all our peoples to ask me any question you have ever wanted to know about Me, my life, Black (I might even get him to answer some questions) for the next post and the post after that BIG NEWS PEOPLE....BIG NEWS!!! And no you can not ask what the big news is going to be....LOL

Bond Girls lessons in Wedding Etiquette...

2009-02-01T23:33:00.005-05:00

One of my female friends Audrey got engaged last year to her boyfriend of 5 years and they were supposed to be joined in marital bliss this past Saturday. Alas they canceled the wedding two weeks ago. The story goes that Audrey refused to down size the wedding even though her Fiancee Rueben could no longer afford half of her extravagant demands. I was actually quite touched (slang=hurt) that Ru as I call him was denying his bride the day of her dreams until I heard the requests. So he could no longer afford to transport the bridal party and V.I.P guests in chauffeur driven Rolls Royce and instead had organised the bridal party to ride in HIS 300C Chyrsler and the V.I.P driven in his friends assorted luxury cars (all black). Instead of having the Park Hyatt Hotel cater he wanted to get his client's brothers catering company which serves to exclusive clients anyway for a lesser price. Furthermore instead of his guest each getting an inscribed watch for the men and bracelets for the women he organised a free weekend spa for the ladies and grand prix tickets for the men again via the courtesy of his client's. The things that remained the same were the number of people invited, the dress (although he got his suit at discount), the number of brides maids and grooms men.

Audrey aka bridezilla called me moaning and crying that her wedding was not going to be the same blah blah blah. I'm sorry but I had no sympathy for her people. Ru could have postponed the wedding all together because of the financial climate we are in and instead he decided to use his connections to get a cost effective wedding and HER issue is she can't claim her wedding was the most expensive amongst all her friends? My other issue with this women was that she had a wedding register now unlike your normal register this woman organised her wedding register to have a his and hers thing. The ladies had to buy gifts for her and the male guests had to buy gifts for the groom. Now I looked at Ru's register and was envious of Black because Ru was not asking for expensive things. This chick goes and registers half of her gifts at Tiffany's and Swarovsky! Do I look like I have money to buy YOU a dining set or even glasses at either of those places? In any case I ended up buying her a glass set swiped on my credit card (I refuse to name the amount all I can say is I could have bought a pair of Jimmy Choo's). Now this woman also requested we send the gifts by a certain date to her mother's house as they would not be accepting gifts at the church or reception.

In any case the wedding did not go ahead so I called her to ask for my gift back and she point blank refuses saying it was given as a gift. I told her yes that it was given as a gift ...a wedding gift...her ass was not married was she? Because she did not have a bleeding wedding. Meanwhile back at the ranch...Ru has already returned all his gifts back with a note of apology and an invitation to his house for dinner. Anyway rather than fighting with Audrey I took Black with me and went to her mother's house to collect my gift and while I was there collected two other friends gifts who had also called to get their gifts back. Her own mother said that she was not telling her daughter that she was returning the gifts because she was too materialistic and would not return those gifts on her own.

Anyway knowing that she was in the wrong Audrey starts talking a whole bunch of nonsense at a party that Black and I were both at about how I and those friends who had gone to get their gifts back had stole her wedding gifts. I confronted her and told her that if she thought a crime of theft had occurred she should contact the police rather than spreading rumours about people. I also told her stupid ass I would sue her for slander because we were at a party where not only Black had clients but I had people who I worked with there and would not stand for my character to be assassinated.

My question to blogville what is wedding etiquette when it comes to gifts and weddings that either don't go ahead or end so soon after the celebration. May I also point out I unlike a lot of other people did not ask her for the return of the engagement gift she received from me last year.

Sex with an Ex

2009-01-29T10:37:00.003-05:00

I hate Thursdays....... Ok, i hate every week day i have to come to work even though i love my job, is that weird???????? I got in to work early today because it's freaking awards season in hollywood and thats our busiest times even though i never get to go to the stupid awards........ gosh i work my big ass off and my boss cant even slip me a ticket to the Grammys or something... Wishes!!!!!
Anyway in retaliation, its 10:40am and im going to use company time to blog......
I have been a follower of sex with an ex and i can boldly tell you it has not brought me any good. So im going to lay it down for anybody who is in such situation, DESIST!!! I have read many articles and talked about it with my friends. I hope after you read the extract below, you will learn that the only bad thing besides being dumped is to have sex with your ex

Sex with the ex is a topic that we could discuss for ages. We know that it’s destructive, and yet we imbibe in it anyway. It’s a train wreck waiting to happen and yet we can’t help ourselves. You feel that you are mature, and you can handle post relationship sex. You promise yourself that you won’t get all caught up and get your emotions entangled in it, even though you know that you will anyway.For some, sex with the ex is mainly used to hold on to him in a vain attempt that he might come to his senses and decide to work on the relationship versus bailing out. We do this to try and salvage the relationship, or what little is left of it. You have to keep in mind that using sex to control and have ties to him is kind of like a small bandaid over a huge gash. The bandaid won’t hold, and blood will pour out anyway. Conversely, the sex isn’t going to be enough to hold together a failing/failed relationship. It is human nature to want to hang on, and I don’t blame you, but you have to learn to let go. That is the only way you can ever move on.Perhaps you two have awesome chemistry, and he is the best lover you have ever had. That doesn’t mean however, that he is going to be the best lover you will EVER have. Stop limiting yourself. You just have to be willing, ready and able in your next relationship/fling to unleash your inner vixen. It’s all uphill from there! By staying with him, and having sex with him, you are actually limiting your horizons and your potential. It’s already been established that he is a loser…so why don’t you just try and move on to bigger and better things instead of hanging around the biggest loser?

You might have just fallen into becoming his booty call as a natural transition. You acknowledge that the relationship is dunzo, but there is no one else to have sex with, and you are petrified of a dry spell. He already knows your likes and dislikes and you don’t want to go through the trouble of re-training another dick guy. Get. Over. It. Life is not all about sex. A few weeks without getting any wouldn’t kill you. However, if you feel that it will, my suggestion is to head to your nearest XXX store and invest in the Rabbit (i love me the rabbits) and good batteries. Although not a permanent solution, it will help you over the hump, and keep you from falling into bed with him.

You might be from the school of thought that any contact with him is better than no contact at all. But the contact you are having with him could wind up hurting you a lot more than if you had just made a clean break. For starters, the sex isn’t the same, and he is still a free agent. Do you want him to get his way, have his cake and eat it too? If he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, then he doesn’t deserve you…in any capacity. Not as a friend, and definitely not as a booty call. Capishe?

Stop being a pansy and make a clean break. Stop taking his calls, his text messages and his idiotic attempts to get back in your good graces. You are done, over, kaput ~ recognize it and move on. Although it’s hard, you have to associate him for the time being as your enemy, and cut him off completely. That way, you can move through the stages of loss and achieve closure

Bond Girl not married ...no one guessed pregnancy?

2009-01-22T20:38:00.007-05:00

The shoes....the shoes....and again...the shoes...if he's really sorry...LOL

I can settle for Chanel...Chanel on sale but Chanel still more!

Before you all get up in arms about my disappearance blame Black peoples. Shona and Nefertiti stop rolling your eyes...it was his fault...Temite seriously it was his fault. Why am I trying to prove to you people? I can see Sirius, Toluwa, Danny and even Buttercup just shaking their heads like whatever...So I didn't get married, nor was I in DC which hurts me more than you will ever know! I'm surprised no one said pregnancy K? Thanks for stepping in for me I refuse to tell people how we know each other then I know someone one day will stumble upon this and immediately know who CG, Black and me are.

But seriously I have missed you all! I went on holidays and normally holidays means unlimited blog time but this time around Black BANNED me from facebook and blogging. I was only allowed to access my emails once a day which is hard when you have a blackberry peoples but I had to restrain myself because Black threatened to take that away from me as well. He was all up in arms about a tiny incident after new years. I fainted three times. Once when we were at dinner in a very nice restaurant along the pier. I was mortified because I had worn a very sexy black LBD that CG had got for me for Xmas and had chosen to forgo underwear (I would like to say this was for the aesthetic of the dress but really it was about easy access...*cheeky grin*. Second time at my mothers and third at the after Xmas sales. Anyway Mr-over protective-you might-be ill-lets call 911, forced me to see the doctor the next day who just said it's because of stress, not eating properly blah blah. My mother also tagged along because she said "It might be serious" which in African mother speak is code for "you might be pregnant and I don't trust you to tell me". I tell you I was praying like I have never prayed in my life because unbeknown to Black and my mother my monthly visitor had failed to arrive for at least 2 months prior even though reservations were made (reservations= back pain,pms, cramps, tenderness...sorry Danny..info overload!)

Anyway I was found to be seriously stressed, a little burnt out emotionally and just fatigued. Black felt so guilty because my doctor who has been my doctor since my family moved here asked "Is there anything that you were worried about in the last few months?". My mother was looking quizzically at me like "yes tell us now" and poor Black's face was so guilty. My poor baby! I did tell him though that the Teni thing, work, having my sisters around, my bad eating habits ALL contributed it wasn't just the Teni issue on its own. He still didn't believe me though and got me drum roll.....see Chanel bag picture (people calm yourselves on sale at some silly price, I still couldn't afford it at the sale price but some people make more money than me!)...yep...he bought it as an I'm sorry for not listening to you gift. Now see the picture of the shoes? I tried to push for those as well to see how sorry he really was but he claimed his bank balance was not THAT sorry. Lmao. For now I could only take a picture of the shoes. You should have seen the snooty sales clerk, she came up to me, looked me up and down, smiled at Black and said to him even though I was standing in front of him all 5'5 OF ME.. "Excuse me sir, may you please inform the lady we do not allow pictures to be taken of our merchandise at this establishment". I looked her up and down, side stepped her, snapped the picture and brushed past her as I walked out with Black shaking his head. What was she going to do? I WISH she would have stopped me! I swear those ladies at Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Burberry. You name any high class store in Melbourne where they have security guards at the door the sales girls think they are the second coming of Mary. I'm like please chick we catch the same train after work. I see you on platform one waiting for the 5.25pm express like everyone else, you don't roll in a phantom so please act the way your salary and position demands when anybody comes into the store....with courtesy. You can be as rude to me as you like when you own the store or when you are making millions and are only filling in as a volunteer!

Anyway the big news of 2009 besides President Obama and Michelle, Buttercup and Chari (CG told me about that and I was like what! I told CG though if we were still single we might follow suit..hahaha,just jokes. Strictly dickly over here.). Ok back to the news Teni is dating jack Black's shady friend Jack!!! Black went to dinner with Jack to reconcile (I opted to stay home rather than be there sending out negative vibes). Apparently they met at some Xmas office party and hit it off. The world is coming to an end I tell you. Hide the knives Melbourne if this precious couple come to your dinner parties. Those are two unstable people who need therapy before entering relationships with like minded crazy people. I heard a rumour a long while back that Jack beats his girlfriends but if he thinks he is going to beat Teni its going to go down like that scene in the Colour Purple, where Whoopi Goldberg's character advises the guy who plays Oprah's husband to beat her to keep her in line and the guy ends up getting beat down and Oprah goes back defiant with a black eye to Whoopi and says "You told Harpo to beat me"....LOL classic moment and can see it happening with Jack and Teni. Anyway La familia its so good to be back, I've missed all of you....till next time

Missed me? City girl in the building!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-20T00:32:00.002-05:00

I feel really special....... the whole SOS appeal thing.... I am great, BG is fine, or so i think! i kid, she's great. Ive been really busy, and guess what?????????? im in Washington!!!!!!!!!! gonna be part of history!!!!!! this is going to be a brief post cuz im on my way to shake my booty with the girls in one of DC's hottest clubs.
Thanks to K for holding this place down. we need to meet, wanna come to NY, or should i make my procrastinated Melbourne trip?????? Don't mind her, i didnt sound so serious on the phone. Im really sweet, i pinky swear! lol..

How r u guys doing here? Nothing exciting has been happening with me, oh yea the new doorman in my apt buiding apparently has a crush on me. I think, or how do i explain his hostility to my male visitors, especially boyfie. Last week, he came to my door and asked if i needed help on anything. i thought that was really random.
I have decided to run the marathon next year so i am starting training as soon as i get back to NY on thursday. Going to hit the gym like there's no tomorrow.
Whats new with you guys????? i need to do my blog rounds. I always read your blogs, i just never comment, but now ive suddenly become opinionated so y'all r going to be hearing from me.
On another major issue......... Guess what Boyfie said over the weekend...........wait for it........... we should move in together!!!!! Ha! Help! This dude is going to fast for me. I am beginning to suspect. As a commitment-phobe like me, im starting to get cold feet!!!

I have to go now... and yea i look so hot in my LBD.... wished i could take a pic..........there r so many fine brothas here this week, all for Obama... if ur looking for husband, come to DC asap......its like they released men from some male heaven or something...

Take care and i'd sure to say hi to usher tonight cuz a lil' bird says i may be partying with him... keyword being may............xoxo

Erm... S.O.S ..City Girl and Bond Girl...where art thou??

2009-01-19T01:16:00.005-05:00

Ok so Bond Girl I got a bit ahead of myself when you asked me to manage your blog while you were away. I wished everyone happy new year and all that jazz on you guys behalf but never bothered to ask where you guys were going.... I was well chuffed you asked me and forgot to ask about the details.

When our paths crossed because you and I were blogging in the lunch room that day I did learn that you are big on privacy and mystery... but this is one where even I am baffled. All the girls on my level the little gossipers they are keep asking "where has BG taken Black? No eye candy during lunch punishes the rest of us" LMAO

Now City Girl I don't know you too well and have only spoken on the phone with you a few times and even now its hard to get a hold of you...but you also are a girl of privacy and mystery (To be honest when you called the other day to ask when I was updating the blog you kind of scared me...I felt like saying yes mam" lol

Bond girl I visited your bar... Bond Bar, Red Velvet and even traveled the hour to to 4125 and you were not to be seen. Even Clement the french bar guy who always mixes your drinks no matter how busy it is asked me where you were and he NEVER speaks to me....LOL ....AND Black is not around either because I got about 4 or 5 emails from the girls on his floor who miss their Starbucks and Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the morning that he used to bring them. Poor children look like they are going through caffeine and sugar withdrawals when I see them going into the building. So I suspect you are together right?

Wherever you are I hope you are at least reading blogs because here are the rumours circulating round Sin City aka Melbrizzy about where you could possibly be....

A) you have eloped and are on an exclusive extended honeymoon
B) After being away from each other over the xmas period you have been "catching up" and have lost all sense of time
C)You are in the States with City Girl....reunion??
D) This one was from Black's secretary....that you have gone to DC to watch Barack get his crown because of the way you love that man it seems impossible you would be in Australia (I think she's lying and knows where you guys are though)
E)You both have some serious time off and are keeping a seriously low profile

So guys where could the sexy and sassy Bond Girl and her V. hot man Black be? I know City Girl is probably in her office working like a slave....

Put us out of our misery and come back.... Eish china by the way I saw your cousin and her connections...they running around Bond Bar like they are celebrities and own it.... God help us bringing the classiness of the place down I tells ya....some of her girls are just GWASH to the nth degree (naija peeps GWASH= RAZZ)

New Blog member, New Year.....will be back soon...

2009-01-10T07:04:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year to all...still on a break but introducing fellow blogger K... as a guest this year...welcome on board family! She will sometimes be answering some of our comments and stuff this year as City Girl and I are a bit busy... will update soon peoples but wishing you all happy new year if K has not done so on our behalf!

Happy New year and all the good stuff

2009-01-06T16:54:00.002-05:00

Sorry ive been MIA.........work, life, sex, men have all been stressful. Hope you guys had a great hoilday. I sure did! Thanx ShonaVixen for checking up on us. I enjoyed teasing Bond Girl's man endlessly on when he will bring out a lil'box from Tiffany..... the best for my girl and hey, im not saying he's gonna propose soon BG........dont get all excited...lmao

The ex is still lurking around, God help me! (not my ex, refer to my last post). She seems to be hanging out at every bar i go with boyfie. Two days before Christmas, guess who walked up to me at Macys? yep, the evil Ex........ she saw BG's man with me and she had the look of, oh! she's cheating and ive caught her...... I was not wrong! Boyfie called me like 10mins after i saw her and couldnt stop laughing. he said im cheating on him with a guy who could only afford to take me to macys..... lol! Of course he knew i was with Black....... Please beg this girl to leave me alone. I hate drama!!!

I met the in-laws...... how frightening. Christmas dinner was at their place and i was so scared of meeting them cuz he's their only son and his mother loves him so much. It went well. I got them presents, took a home baked chocolate cake (which i proudly made) and we had so much fun. His sisters love me and his mum has not stopped calling me since then. Halleluyah! im in.......

Other than that, my life's been dry. My sex life's going great, sorry BG, i had to add that........ at least he got back in time for New years! my phone's at peace... horny children!!!
Work's has crazy as ever with interns coming in from Fashion Institute: spoilt kids who think they know everything. I am actually fond of the girl that was posted to me. She reminds me of me when i was 19........ ambitious, flirty and determined. Speaking of interns, there's one that keeps flirty with me. he's 20 and Puerto rican. Gosh he's cute!!!! my personal eye candy at work!

How did your holidays go?

Bond Girl Pushes Back....

2008-12-22T00:55:00.004-05:00

Black has gone to New York to finish up his move. Now he has lived here for awhile told the firm he works for he would like to be permanently based here. Although I won't spend Xmas and new years with him at least I know he will be safe with City Girl....if not drunk half the time. LOL! City Girl is excited because he is bringing her, her Xmas gifts from me and the rest of my family including Black and his family (she's like an adopted fifth child that one!) and those two love to gossip so they are both excited about seeing each other. Even with the twins here the place seems so much quieter and larger without his presence. I have to say though I was quite happy because Teni doesn't need to be around him during xmas. My family Insurance has worked brilliantly, his whole family kept him so busy in his final days here that he didn't even manage to see her and forgot to text her he was going. He asked me to text everyone on his phone and sort out his messages.. hahahaha...he trusts me too much sometimes. By the time I got to the T's in his phone I skipped Teni's name called or emailed everyone else. It was only by the fact that she is a persistent hood rat that she even found out he had left.

Four days after his departure she came to my house looking for him....the exchange was funny. Apparently she was worried because she had not seen or heard from him in a while and she was going through some ish. I took so much joy in telling her that he had left for New York four days prior and was returning "when he was returning...after all if he wanted you to know he would have left contact details right?". She had the audacity to still ask for his number! I told her that I was not going to give it her because she had no business using it. This child then put her hands on her hips and her true colours came out again I knew that sweet and innocent act was not going to last. She proceeded to tell me that she would make my life a living hell, that she will tell Black that I was rude to her when she came crying for his assistance. Now I think I have said on this Blog before that I am the sort of person who will take a lot before I give back a little of what has been done to me. But when I do you will feel it. If you back me into a corner and dare me to make a move I will not climb above or dig below to avoid you, I will go straight through you. I warned her twice to let the issue go and for her to leave my house. she refused. At this point I had Ludacris's song stuck in my head "Move bitch, get out the way, get out the way....you don't know me like that"...it was like speaking to me! Teni eyed me up and down like she was daring me, like she was challenging me to do something and that's when I lost it. I mean here she shows up at my door questioning me about the whereabouts of my man...I am sorry but who the hell are you? I had, had a stressful week. My man was not around...the prospect alone of getting no xmas or new years loving had me in a grumpy mood then here this child comes acting like she suffering as well. She was standing half in the hallway and half outside so I decide to shove the bitch out. I pushed enough that she fell on her ass and then I told her to get fcuked and stay away from my house. Then I slammed the door. I walked over to the table where I had left a vase full of water to put in flowers and picked it up and walked to my kitchen window which overlooked my parking spots. I could see Teni stalking angrily in a bad mood to her car which she had the audacity to park in Blacks usual spot instead of guest parking. I waited until she had opened her door before I threw that water on her. Granted it missed her head and splattered her top and the car but the look on her face was pure glory. The twins who were sitting on the lounge suite sat with their eyes and mouths open for a few seconds before they started laughing and congratulating me.

The first thing I did was call Black and tell him, didn't want her twisting the facts now. Surprisingly he laughed so much. He even asked was I ready to walk at night by myself because he didn't think she would let it go. I asked him what happened to the whole "try be friends with Teni" ish he was on when he was here. He explained to me that he had the pleasure of going to dinner with City Girl and bumping into her man's dramatic foolish thinking ex and he had seen how she spoke to City Girl (apparently she was a real bitch) and how it made City Girl look and feel. It made him rethink how he had been looking at the Teni situation. He promised he would not have any more contact with Teni. When he said those words it was like I had a weight lifted off me. I wanted to fly the distance and kiss him....in the end we somehow had phone sex. Which was fun while we were talking but then when I got off the phone it wasn't like I could do anything more about it. What made me laugh though was City Girl's text which I received 5 minutes after talking to Black ...it said "Jezebel, what have you tempted your man with now he can't sit properly, crossing and uncrossing legs, sighing looking sad and drinking beer like water??. P.s don't tie up my phone with your phone sex you think my man does not need to call to get his dose as well? lol"

August Visitor: The Ex

2008-12-15T19:00:00.002-05:00

Q: What other way can you spend the week after thanksgiving ?
A: Go to Aruba with your man.........

Thats what i did..... three days of sun, beach, sex and food....... have i mentioned sex and food? gosh, im such a foodie. It was an unexpected vacation. I planned to take a week off work after thanksgiving to move apartments (now i live further from the boyfriend), have a spa weekend and just hang with myself cuz Christmas period is the busiest at work, with parties and alot of events. It drives me crazy! Anyway boyfriend asks me if i could spare 3 days out of my one week and i reluctantly gave in, honestly i wanted it all to myself. I even told him he shouldnt call me during that week...lol
He showed up at mine with the tickets and could i resist? heck no...... i thought of the sun and heat......... divine! Thank goodness i'd been working hard at the gym so my body was bikini ready. We were to leave the next day and trust me, it took me 5 mins to pack...lol..ok i exaggerate, i think it was like half an hr. I had a lot of fun...... enough said

Guess who's in town? Boyfriend's ex! I have never met her, she stays in Connecticut and she's here for work meetings and decided to meet me....... When the man told me that babe, remember my ex i talked to u about, she's in town and she said she wants to have dinner with u, one on one! I didnt even know what to say, all that came out was sure, i'd make reservations. what food does she like. I had no clue what we were going to say to each other. If the ex was going to be there, it'd have been better. I have never met her or talked to her...... hence my worry!
We met friday night for the dinner. I had seen pictures so i knew it was her from afar. She looked good in her skinny jeans and blazer. I wore a dress cuz i was meeting friends for drinks later. It was awkward at first, how were we supposed to say hello. was i to hug or kiss her cheeks? we settled for a stiff handshake. We placed our orders and the conv started, no wait, the grilling and the sermon. She went ahead to say she was still in love with my boyfriend and came here to see if i was serious with him or we were just passing time. imagine the nerves! wait, shes also Nigerian so u can imagine my shock! She talked all through the meal about how she made the mistake of letting him go, and so on........... Mschewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

All i said was, i was sorry they ended things but clearly hes over you now cuz as a matter of fact, we just got back from Aruba last night and he talked of our future together. I was filled with rage and resisted the urge to throw my glass of wine over her skanky ass...... i thought of BG at that moment and i knew my home gurl would have said more than i did! As soon as i finished my food (hey i was paying), i dropped my card to pay and can u believe what she said, oh, ur now flaunting like u can buy me dinner, hell bitch i can! still dont know how i kept my cool, grabbed my coat and walked out of the restaurant.
BF was so lucky i had a girls night out so i had drowned my anger in Cocktails and champagne...... She's been ringing his phone for 2 days straight now, i wonder what she wants. Someone needs to beat the bitch up men.

Bond Girl takes out Family Insurance (spy cover inclusive)

2008-12-09T20:43:00.007-05:00

First off City Girl is on vacation in Aruba with her man (early Christmas gift)which I hinted at Black would be really GREAT if that happened to me. LOL. So because of my absentee partner in writing its just me again....let me hope I do not bore you whilst she's away.

Last week I swear I was not snooping. I swear I had no overt or subconscious plans to snoop. The file I had been working on was on his lap top. I remembered saving the file on it and emailing it to him to go over it so that’s what I was looking for when I came across the email from Teni. I stared at it for 15 minutes not moving and breathing slowly. Black was taking a shower and I could have easily read it. I did the most abnormal thing for a woman I went against every bone in my body telling me to read it and looked for the file. When Black came downstairs he found me at the computer working on the file using his computer. I watched him intently to see if he got jumpy, I leaned forward straining my ears to hear when he spoke if he stuttered or if his truth rang false in my ears. He looked at me and asked “looking for something?”. I couldn’t resist, I replied “hiding something?”. He shrugged and said “ there’s an email I received from Teni today, I am trying to decide what to say in response. Otherwise hiding is not my thing. Delaying telling you stuff yes…lying no” I wished he had lied, I wished he had tried to cover it up. I wanted a reason for my insecurity besides Teni being interested. I wanted my fears to be justified and instead he told me so matter of fact. He was no stranger to the truth this one. For some reason my body temp started to rise, I started to feel warm…....ah shit I realised that I was turned on.

The next day Black told me to forgive, forget and move on. Teni had apologised profusely and in his eyes he sees her remorse as the rebirth of our fractured relationship. I was close to telling him to stop smoking crack on his lunch hours and see that Teni and I have never gotten along before, during and after he was in the picture. My twin sisters Kiki and Lila who are staying with me at the moment can not stand her because she ruined their 21st by calling the police and saying there were drugs being sold on the premises (In Australia they take those calls seriously especially when its a black party...the cops turned up with the fire brigade, paramedics and the dog squad...seriously WTF). My parents and her own think Teni is the devils love child,at 18 her parents kicked her out, she stayed with us for 4 days before my mum kicked her out saying and I quote verbatim "lets give the child to Jesus" (unable to control her psycho ass). My brother doesn't trust her ever since she gave him weed laced with cocaine (dude was so high that day that the next day he missed his first exam in his final year...still very bitter about it). So here comes my sweet boyfriend thinking her apology actually means something to me. If I was evil I would harness his goodness for my own purposes. As it is I try to behave and not abuse his kindness.

I decided to deal with Teni myself. I can't stop her from calling him, texting, dropping by his house and office unannounced but I can keep tabs on her without doing anything myself. The first thing I did is what I like to call taking out family insurance. If you are ever dating a man that likes you enough to introduce you to his family make sure you insure your position by getting along with the key family members. Not only will he be chuffed that you fit so well in his world but you are more likely to know his movements. When Black offered to go Christmas shopping with my sisters, I chose that time to drop by and see his Mum. I baked my famous white chocolate, marshmallow and macademia nut cookies and had a good catch up with his mum for 4 hours. She invited me shopping next week. Next stop was to call his 5 sisters...yes five...and invite them for drinks and dinner with Black, my own sisters and I. That went down a treat, I am attending 5 Christmas work and after parties. Last but not least I went golfing with Black, his Dad and his childhood best friend Craig. We now have a standing arrangement to go golfing every two weeks. By the time this weekend came around I was exhausted but I felt that I was back in the family loop. You know when you are back in the loop when you get the texts, emails and phone calls inviting you for family outings, being asked to baby sit in the case of his 3 married sisters and drinks with his boys. If Teni tries to break into the house of Black while I am away or napping I have FAMILY INSURANCE to cover me.

It worked so well that when Teni dropped by to have lunch with Black for the 3rd time since her fake ass apology, Black's sister Marissa who works in the same building took it upon herself to call me to warn me. Although I acted unconcerned she still told me she didn't trust Teni and would from now on make sure that Black's lunch date would be with her and only her. When he went to lunch with his parents they noticed the number of times she calls him and advised him "to ignore some of the calls because it could give the wrong idea to the wrong girl". I have noticed in the past week when she calls he answers 10% of the calls unlike before where he answered every single one. However Teni is still clever we were chilling out last night with the twins and she called Black four times in a space of an hour. When he finally called back he got off the phone two hours later stating that she was having boyfriend troubles and was quite distraught. In unison Kiki and lila looked up from watching the movie and said "Maybe if she called her own boyfriend as much as she calls you she wouldn't be having problems". I had to secretly dance with glee at that....I love family insurance it makes me sleep a little easier without doing much......

A night out: Bond Girl Vs Teni......Round 1

2008-11-29T23:29:00.005-05:00

Alcohol truly is the truth serum that loosens tongues and the Margaritas at Teni's birthday gave her some false Dutch courage. I was rather taken aback at the blunt question she threw at me so much so I had to lean forward and ask her to repeat it lest I had heard wrong. So steadying herself against the bar she shouted in my ear asking, " So how good do you fcuk then? Do you put your legs behind your ears? Dutty wine on his D*ck? Because I am trying to find out how he stays loyal to you. You are not in his league". I raised my eyebrows at her boldness. I almost walked off because I was so insulted and could feel my hand itching to let the glass of Margarita in her face...but its the credit crunch no need to waste good alcohol on ignorant family members. I am not ugly nor am I fat but its just that Black's quite good looking people expect him to date someone flawless with an eating disorder....like Teni's skinny ass. Instead I replied "I don't know Teni I guess its the moves been fcuking for awhile now...I'm so good at perfecting my craft the karma sutra guidelines reference my shit". Her mouth dropped open, I am generally not crass nor am I outwardly rude unless you cross me then you see that the flames were in my belly the whole time all I needed was some dry wood to be thrown at me to start a fire.

I left her standing at the bar to go join Black at one of the little bar tables the club had. When I got there he saw that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I really wanted to tell him that the way Teni had dismissed the reality of our relationship by stating it was about sex was really bugging me. I wanted to tell him that even though I looked damn good in my dark green chiffon grecian style dress, with bare back and gold accessories and high heels her constant touchy feely nature towards Black and her attempts at shutting me out were grating on my nerves. However I just shook my head, told him I was fine and looked for the waiter to order another margarita. If you have too many things to think about stop thinking start drinking! An hour later I went to the bathroom and when I was coming out there I see Black and Teni arguing. Well she was crying, looking like a drunk mess and he looked majorly unimpressed. When he saw me, he left her and walked over to me and asked "Can we go now?". I nodded and looked over his shoulder at Teni who was looking at us intently like she was waiting for something. I looked at Black and asked him "First, whats going on with you and Teni?". He shook his head and said, "Babe lets not get into this now, just lets go. She's had a lot to drink so let her sober up, you sober up and we can hash it out tomorrow". Then he tried to usher me towards the door. I firmly refused to budge and raised an eyebrow quizzically "I am not going anywhere and there is no need to usher me towards the door. Whats going on?". Black sighed, you know one of those "I might as well tell her but ish is about to hit the roof and I aint finna deal with people's ish tonight" sigh.

"I asked her what she said to you. She told me. I asked why she would say some dumb ish like that and then she told me because you are not right for me. Then she said she was right for me and was available any time I decided I got tired of being the good stand by BG through everything kind of guy".Now bloggers like I said I am not a dramatic child,other people are dramatic and then they bring their drama to my circle but I am not mad at them because its people like Teni that encouraged me to start blogging. So that I could share the WTF moments I have nearly every week of my life with people who are unbiased. When I looked over Black's shoulder Teni was no longer to be seen and Black was blocking me, I msssscheeeeewed him and nearly lapsed into my mother tongue, instead I settled for a healthy tirade, " Iwe, lets just get out of here. I don't want to speak to her, I don't want to see her. she has her own damn man, who happens to be roaming around here so what she wants mine? Why? I know there is a man shortage around but there is no need to start poaching. Thats the ish that gets you shot! As for you Black you are too damn nice to the bitch. No wonder she thinks she's in with a chance".

The minute I said it I regretted it but you know when things are said in the heat of the moment you can't take them back because they run away so fast from you. All you are left holding is hindsight and an a possible apology. "Sorry" I whispered and started walking out of the club. The alcohol started to hit me the minute I went outside. The warm summer breeze cooled my skin but did not do the same for my temper. It was a very quiet ride home in the early hours of Saturday morning and for the first time Black and I slept in the same bed without having sex. The next night I thought it would be the same until about 2am he reached for me and we had a good make up session.

Now my dilemma lies in telling my man that I am not comfortable with him talking or even seeing Teni who I know has put herself out there on the platter to be sampled. I have never been a jealous girl but all of a sudden the arrival of Teni has me seeing flames. I have never been one of those girls that would ban her man from hanging or talking to certain girls but its like now I get it. If you knew a girl was actively chasing your man or had offered herself to your man do you trust your man not to stray or do you submit to your fears and insecurities and try to put barriers to stop any form of contact between the two? So I sit here thinking that City Girl had been right to tell me to confront Teni and see where her head was at. I believe her exact words were "Sometimes when someone shows you what sort of person they are....you should take their word for it and believe them".

Tell me your suggestions people! till next time.....

Dick-motisis

2008-11-25T17:03:00.004-05:00

Thank you for your support and advice........... BG, i love u so much........
I think i was just really shocked cuz i never saw it coming... Oh well!
Last weekend was boyfriend's birthday and i think i just maxed out a credit card.. How do u even know whats the best gift to buy a guy? We've not been dating for long so i am not too sure of what he would have liked. Anyway, got him alot of Video games, a pair of Prada Slippers and a Tissot wrist watch....... and they all came with gift receipts, so he can return them if he wants. We had a great weekend though. I made him a special dinner in my Victoria's secret baby doll. Dont even try to imagine what was for dessert.

I was having a conversation with a friend at work and she was complaining about this ass clown she was dating. He treats her badly and hurts her all the time, the only good thing about him is the sex..... She's been trying to get out of the relationship but cant seem to. I came across some ideas for her and i decided to share it here cuz ive been in such relationships before.....
This post is for all of you ladies that can’t walk away from the sex….

Dick-motosis occurs when a woman is with a guy that sucks in almost every single respect except one: he gives her really good sex. A woman that is dickmotised is in essence, hynotised so much by his good loving that she chooses to overlook or forgive all his other more glaring annoying qualities.
It’s so easy to get dickmotised and yet so hard to get out of. Most stories that I’ve heard of with women sticking for years with men that aren’t good for them are because they are hopelessly hypnotized by his. They put up with all the bull shit out and drama out of bed, because the off the chains sex has got them all weak that they can’t think straight. Their friends are telling them to wake up and snap out of it—but they can’t, they’ve become junkies or c*ckaholics…

So how do your get out of Dickmotosis?

1. Quit Cold Turkey.

Like any bad habit, trying to wean yourself off slowly can take weeks or months. To get out of the dickmotosis, you have to quit him altogether. Break it off, stop taking his calls, his texts and emails.

2. Buy a Vibrator.

An honest to goodness, premium vibrator like the Wanichi Vibe or Hitachi Magic Wand. Get a replacement, albeit an electronic one and start using it to wean yourself off his d*ck. If you are used to getting one or two orgasms from him daily—give yourself 5 in the morning, 2 for lunch and another 2 at night. This will enable you to stop craving his d*ck so much. The vibrator is just like Nicorette for smokers; a substitute to get you through the hard times when you wanna break down and give in to his smooth charms. When you are craving him, zap yourself up with your Electronic Boyfriend.

3. Get a Support Group.

Most girls already have a built in support group in their friends. So tell them you are trying to break yourself of the bad habit of jumping to him whenever Mr. Good Dick crooks his finger at you. That way when you feel yourself breaking, give one of them a ring instead of calling him. They will also help you through the rocky break up patch and give you an emotional lift when you are feeling down.

4. Take a Breather.

Once you get clean from him, don’t be so quick to jump into another dickmotized situation. Sure, sex is great and all, but you don’t want to replace one addiction with another. Learn some new hobbies, travel, join a cause or volunteer. Do something and anything to fill your hours with exciting and great experiences that don’t evolve around sex.

5. Become a Dick Slayer.

This is the final part of the journey. After taking time to learn more about yourself and what pleasures you, you can take steps to learn more about sex and all it’s wild horizons. Flex your Kegels, take a sensuality class, (or even a stripping class). Embrace your sexuality and stop being the recipient; turn yourself into the giver. Take hold of the reins, ride dirty and be the wild, bad girl you were destined to be. That way it will be hard to get dickmotised again, because he’ll be laid out with all the good lovin’ you’ve laid down on him.

Bond Girl....and her 1/4 Jealousy

2008-11-20T12:10:00.004-05:00

The last two weeks have seen some things. Barrack Obama was elected the 44th President of the U.S.A. City Girl found out her baby brother had secrets. I found a job with a good law firm finally. My boyfriend Black and I agreed to keep our relationship quiet for a bit. Now keeping our relationship quiet is something I started to regret 4 hours after agreeing to it. I didn't regret it when my mum called asking to see where I had been. I didn't even think about telling my twin sisters when they called about visiting on the weekend. My brother already knows but he is sworn to secrecy. City Girl is my best friend and she knows my monthly cycle so its a given that she needs to know so no regret there. The rest of my family members are scattered world wide and if they do live in the country they along with my parents are not even aware that Black and I even talk. No, I started regretting my decision right about the time my cousin Tenielle popped on to the scene. Teni is gorgeous. Not in your "oh do you know Teni from next door/down the street" kind of gorgeous. Teni is gorgeous in your "she just looks like Tyra Banks but prettier" sort of way. Growing up we used to call her QUARTER because she is a 1/4 black zambian, 1/4 white zambian, 1/4 latina, 1/4 Hawaiian.

Back in the day she was also friends with Black and in fact most people thought they would date and were quite surprised when he asked me out. It was like Boris Kodjoe asking out a regular girl when he he hangs out with Gabrielle Union. Now I am not saying that I am not cute but what I am saying is that I know that in the beautiful stakes I know I would be in the race as an under dog but I also know my ass would be fortunate to beat the top seed. So anyway there I was chilling with my man, a glass of wine, listening to some neo soul on a rainy Wednesday evening after a hard first day at work when he starts receiving texts like it was an Olympic event. Now I don't normally question men about what texts they get or phone calls they receive BUT this is Black, this is my man so I after the fifth text I simply say " That person must really have a lot of credit, why don't they call you?" To which my man replies casually, "Oh its Teni, she just wants to know where I am because she wanted to come over but because we are not telling people whats up with us at the moment I am just trying to stop her from dropping by." I swear I broke out into a sweat because I was wondering what in the hell she wanted to drop by for at 11.30pm on a weekday. I knew what I was doing there at 11.30pm and it was not just to drop by. Anyway she ended up ringing him anyway to "chat" and an hour later as I lay in bed waiting for my man I was seriously asking myself "why did I agree to keep it quiet again?" Because ladies need to know that he ain't available to be on the phone giggling with them in the wee hours when he should be here making me....

In any case by the time he came to bed it was 2am and we both needed to wake up at 6am. Needless to say I didn't get any loving putting me in a bad mood. The next day as I walked down trendy Collins Street heading to a cafe for lunch who do I see striding her way down the street just looking as fresh as rain. Teni. I plastered on this fake grin I swear I was channeling Heath Ledger's the joker with that smile. So up she comes to me all sunshine and our conversation went like this:
Teni: Hey Cuz long time no see, whats good with you? Probably busy with work because I know it can't be a man keeping you busy.
(you wonder why I know people in my life that say some messed up ish to me like they dont have any sense)
Me: Ha ha hey Teni, yeah just busy with work, life. You know. whats good with you?
Teni: Oh nothing, I am actually on my way to surprise Black at his office. Did you know he was back? I just need to invite him to my birthday party this Friday. I would invite you but you never pitch to these things and besides every one needs a date and I spoke to your mum the other day and she said you were still single.
(Reminder to self to tell my mother that my love life is not a general knowledge fact sheet she should be sharing with family and random people now!)
Me: (FAKE GRIN SPREADS WIDER)....Thats fine probably busy this Friday anyway, have to go on the clock. I had heard he was back but say hi anyway.

As I stalked away from her I swear I was probably leaving smoke behind me because I was pissed. When I got home that afternoon and found Black in my kitchen making us dinner my first question was " Had a nice lunch with Teni did you?". Now Black he just smiled that "I want to take your clothes off smile" because he finds it a turn on when I am jealous because I rarely am. "you jealous baby?" he asked me making his way towards me all slowly and shit. I started to back up, "Let me make this clear, I am a 1/4 jealous...do you hear me..a 1/4 jealous?". He obviously thought it was funny because he was laughing at me within seconds, "Baby" he said "On the table is an invite to Teni's birthday this Friday. In your bedroom is a dress I bought for the occasion at lunch which you can wear with those sexy shoes you have been meaning to wear. On Friday you will be my date...don't stress yourself...besides Teni has a man". Its hard to stay mad when your man does something good, even harder when you know you are going to wipe the smile off your cousins face....I wasn't a 1/4 jealous anymore but aint jealousy a bitch???

P.S Praying for City girl during this time...baby girl life will show you fire at times but its a good thing that God is your firefighter.

Till next time peoples...

In a Confused state of mind

2008-11-07T01:16:00.005-05:00

Times square was hyper tuesday night.... i voted and it counted! Go Obama. im so happy and emotional. Another issue is driving me crazy and here goes it:

"Dinner at River cafe, 8pm tomorrow night...... come looking really attractive please" read the text i sent to him. Baby bro moved to NYC in June after living in Florida for over six years and i had been trying to hook him up with the many girls that always oohed and aahed when they met him. He's very good looking, no doubt but he worried me that he had never introduced me to any special girl. Boyfriend suggested i introduced him to Andrea (anorexic girl) and hopefully sparks would fly, hence the text i sent on Monday. My mum had been questioning me on who he was seeing or random dates at least, u know mothers!
On Tuesday, I asked Andrea to have dinner with Boyfie and i. Trust home girl to dress really hot. My brother actually showed up, thank God and he seemed he was into her. They talked through dinner and i felt like i did a good job. Andrea was ecstatic at work the next day. She said they made plans for another date. woohoo! baby bro was dating.

Here comes the shocking news, im still numb! I went to 40/40 with boyfie and some of his friends and their girlfriends, u know we did the whole clan thing. I had never met any of the girls before and they all seemed nice, but professional, boring investment people. We started drinking and dancing. It was a blast. I love 40/40 cuz the dj is just too tight. He used to have the hots for one of my friends tho so i could go up to him and request a song. I asked him to play Beyonce's single ladies and boyfie was taunting me, asking if i thought i was single....lol...
Around 1:14am, i remember the time..... who walks in, Baby bro and i was excitedly drunk and wanted to shout across to him. I was stopped in my tracks with the sight in front of me. he had his hands round some dude and they looked too cozy for comfort. I was dazed and dizzy. The next minute, he had his tongue in his throat..... wtf???????????? Every part of me wanted to jump him and punch the living shit out of both of them, but calm boyfie stopped me. He said there may be an explanation. We left the club immediately and he never saw me.
I am confused, should i confront him? what about Andrea, my mother, me? al the people who r getting hurt? Is my little brother who was the worst 16yr old player with girls now gay? Wake me up from this nightmare.......... Im not homophobic but i dont want a gay brother........... SHould i talk to him? or what?????????????

Part Deux.....Bond Girl's view from the top

2008-10-29T05:16:00.008-04:00

So Black stayed. I would have killed him if he had left but although he felt bad about leaving his friends in the lurch I am sure he forgot about it when we were in the bath together. As the the last strains of Joe's Love Scene faded away and the soulful voices of Floetry's Say Yes began my trembling legs were slowly but surely not shaking as much. In between the music somewhere I could hear Black's and my breathing steady but exhausted. His phone had been switched off and we were lying side by side legs intertwined, sheets thrown off the bed and the scent of sex and vanilla candles were heavy in the air. After all that time apart I realised that it was nothing like I remembered because he and I were more grown. We had learnt things, different positions, liked things a certain way and were not afraid to voice them. For example although I like being on top, I love what I and Black like to call the Nando's full chicken...LOL (use your imaginations and those who need further clarification...uh...uh...ah well ...shame).

I was grateful for the air conditioner in my apartment because it was hot inside and it was hot outside. The music provided a great back drop to the flash backs in my head and my body was tingling remembering each kiss along my thighs, each caress on my body and each toe curling, hands digging into the mattress, body twisting, screaming orgasm. I felt sorry for my neighbours after each session but they had put me through their 2 minute wonder shows for years. It had been a long six months and I don't think I had, had enough. I felt Black stir next to me and pull me to him so that I was cradled in his arm. Our legs still intertwined as he placed his other hand on my hip slowly caressing my skin in circles. You know when the sex is good and you have nothing to say. There is no need for deep and meaningful conversation. My advice to guys out there if your woman is still talking after you have finished you ain't done nothing to shut her up. Believe me bloggers I think I might cancel my gym membership or at least stop going to my aerobics classes.

Sunday morning rolled around very quickly and while we ate breakfast I decided I would go with Black to see if Jack's S.O.S was real and if his dumb ass was in jail. I offered to drive because I wanted to go past Jack's house on the way to the police station to see if his car was outside and lo and behold as I drove down Jack's upmarket street his Black BMW was parked safely in the driveway. I stopped the car and looked at Black whose face was all of a sudden unreadable. All he said was " park". Somewhere inside me my heart was jumping for joy. First, great sex and now Jack's lying, conniving, manipulative ass was about to be caught out. I quickly parked the car and followed Black who had practically jogged to the door and was banging on it. When Jack opened the door he looked like he had been asleep and was surprised to see us.
Black: WTF dude? So you were lying?
Jack: Hey man, listen you didn't come anyway so there is no need to get upset. She (he points at me) is top priority I get it.
Black: That's not what its about man. You said you were in trouble and I asked you is this a joke and you were like its serious. How can you test me like that?
Jack: Look man here is my advice if the P***y was good enough to miss out on coming out with your boys I am not hating on you but remember its your boys you will need when she screws you over like she will because the B***h doesn't know what she wants.

You see that's where he overstepped the mark, he does not know me and he thought the only person he had to fear was Black, now Black does not need to defend me. I defend me. So it was not a coincidence that Black kind of took a step back without Jack noticing, allowing me to step forward and slap that idiot across the face with my clutch bag. It took Jack a second to realise that I had clocked him across the face, he looked towards Black as if he was going to intervene. Black shrugged his shoulders as we backed away from the house back to the car. In the car, Black and I cracked up laughing. I was still laughing when Black leaned over and kissed me. A slow, sensual kiss "I love you B and I have missed you. I want this to be official. How about seeing my parents again for dinner next week?". I had almost forgotten about parents, siblings and friends being involved in this relationship.... am I rushing it even more to say yes to being re-introduced to his parents? I was hoping for the sex to be our focus for a few weeks before we had to bring parents into it. I wasn't concerned about Black's parents they were lovely....I was concerned about mine, they were not exactly fans.

Two Can Play that Game.....Pt.1

2008-10-27T17:36:00.007-04:00

Before I started my seduction plan on black I thought it would be good to reinforce the whole friendship thing we had and just spend a night in hanging out without the sex. Little did I know that if you don't plan for something...its more likely to happen.

We were watching movies and eating junk food at my house on Saturday night. Black and I were just happy, laughing, cracking jokes, making fun of each other, the movies and telling each other old stories. When I went to the kitchen to refill the popcorn, I returned to find him leaning back on the couch, eyes closed head tilted back and rubbing his temples. "Are you ok?" I asked concerned. "just a little headache...nothing to worry about" he replied without opening his eyes. I placed the bowl of popcorn down and went to my bedroom and retrieved a headache ointment my mother gave me when I was working at that stressful law firm. Black was still rubbing his temples when I got back. I leaned over him and removed his hands and started to rub the ointment on his temples. I remember chattering away about the miracles of the oil, how he should probably work less hours to avoid the undue stress, that my mother gave it to me when I started to have migraines...blah blah blah blah.

All of a sudden in seconds I don't remember how or what triggered it but Black pulled me down so that I was straddling his thighs and he had his mouth on mine. Now if this was the movies the stupid idiot of a girl would have stopped to ask "what are we doing"....fear not bloggers...It took my mind exactly 2 seconds to understand the situation and I was not going to question it so I hungrily kissed him back, unbuttoning his shirt the deeper the earth shattering kiss went. I felt like I didn't need air, oxygen or a break, my body was shaking with every touch and as piece after piece of clothing went I was yelling "yes! yes! yes!" in my mind. When with all his strength he lifted me and flipped me on to my back and was over me sucking my earlobe, slowly kissing my neck working his way down I started praying "Lord, Jesus...Oh my God...help me...Oh Lord" (you know the ish is good when a sister starts praying while she is in the middle of sinning). When I started to hear the dull ringing of the phone piercing my hazy sex filled mind with its repetitive annoying tone I really started praying that Black would ignore it and let his tongue and hands continue their outstanding job so far. When I realised that it was not my phone but his my heart beat started to slow down as I felt him pull away to answer the bleeding thing (whoever it was clearly was not hanging up). As he answered the phone I felt kind of exposed in my black and cherry red underwear and tried to cover myself up with a nearby throw while Black stood dwarfing everything in my living room wearing black Armani boxer briefs as comfortable as pie.

15 minutes later he got off the phone a concerned look on his face. "Gotta go babe, it turns out Jack and the crew got busted for DUI and I need to go see what I can do" he said as he started picking up his clothes thrown randomly around the room. I realised I had quite a throwing arm when I saw his shirt had landed in the kitchen somehow. I got up and went up to him blocking his way "You have to leave now? Like you can't stay an extra....(at this point I paused calculating how long a quickie would take)...hmmm like an extra 20 minutes?". He laughed so hard and kissed me on the forehead "you are so precious, you even calculated that...but if I stay 20 then I wont leave at all". In my mind I was thinking how was that a bad thing? "I was also quite mad, Jack was Black's workmate who was a distracting force because he was single and thought all his friends should be single players and as such went out of his way to make Black have limited contact with only one woman and increase his ho-asis database (Jacks words not mine). Jack also knew that Black was spending time with me tonight and that Black was loyal to his friends. I doubted the seriousness of Jack's so called S.O.S because I didn't believe a lawyer at his age would be so dumb to be caught out on a DUI. So I decided that two can play this game.

With that in mind I picked up Black's phone and his car keys which he hadn't spotted yet as he was still tugging on his jeans. When he heard the jangle of keys he looked in my direction and smiled "oh thanks babe,saves me from looking all over the place...please pass them over here will you?" I shook my head and the poor thing looked confused for a second, I had seen the preview and there was no way this man was leaving without me watching the movie and I was prepared to play dirty. I let the throw drop down and started walking backwards up the stairs to my bedroom. Black started following pleading for the keys, "Babe come on I don't have time for this". I shook my head again and took a further three steps up "you know those boys have to stay in there over night, police protocol....so its a serious waste of time and petrol for you to go". I could see Black wavering, the dilemma was in his eyes. To make it a little more difficult I removed my bra and dropped it to the floor. He followed its path and groaned "Come on B, you are making this hard". I smiled and said "and here I thought I was making it easy". He licked his lips trying hard not to look at me standing in only my panties. A further few steps and I was at the top. I went in to my room, removed the panties, came out naked, placed his phone and keys at the top of the stairs and said "there are your keys and phone, if you are going to leave at least pick up my bra when you come up and chuck it on my bed...I'm going to shower". When I looked down at him he was halfway up the stairs still contemplating what to do, I knew he was in a dilemma stay or go? As I turned around to go shower he gasped "When did you get a tattoo on your back? I looked over my shoulder and winked at him "there's a lot about my body you don't know and need to find out...its been a long time you sure you want to wait longer?." I left him there decide.... after all how loyal could he be to his boys?

2008-10-21T19:49:00.002-04:00

I am officially in a committed relationship with New guy...... someone shout Hallelujah!!!!!! Firstly his name has to change. he's no more new guy, he will now be called "Boyfriend"...... lol, i cant believe im in a relationship. Remember my last post, i was going to tell him that day that i could not date him and all....... He invited me to dinner that night at some new restaurant down his street. Trust me, i wore a very sexy sage dress and i knew i looked good. Anyway, half way through dinner, he started with the i love u speech and he wants to know what i want from us cuz ive been avoiding the subject (ha! how did he notice??? i was acting well!) Blogvile friends, guess what urs truly said? "i have been meaning to talk to u too and i think i'd love to be your girlfriend exclusively" Boyfriend was very excited and i could see he really liked me. Oh well, ive always wanted to date someone who loved me more than i loved him. Its been going so well. The past 2 weeks have been great. he's been acting like the perfect boyfriend. I made him have a heart to heart conv with my mum and he didnt freak out. Even my brother who always hates the guys he sees me with likes him. Thank you for all ur comments, it helped my decision greatly, I love you guys here!

Speaking of which, remember the Andrea the anorexic colleague of mine? I talked to her and i think she listened cuz she's gradually picking up a healthy eating habit and she told me she's started seeing her doctor again. We've been hanging out together and she lives in boyfriend's apartment building so we sometimes all have dinner. She's a beautiful and smart girl and im thinking of hooking her with my brother cuz its been a while since i saw him with a girl o.

Work's going great, hectic but fun. My love life is so nice and i can say im gradually falling in love. Im just really scared cuz i dont want to be heartbroken again. Any advice on making this really work? what should i do, what should i avoid? I try to give him space, let him hang with his mates and not call or text everyday............ whats ur take?

Bond Girl and her seduction mission...like Floetry said all he has to do is say yes.....

2008-10-12T00:09:00.009-04:00

*sigh*....*sigh* again...Yesterday (Saturday) was a gorgeous day in Melbourne. Its daylight savings here so the sun goes down later and rises earlier, the weather is warming up and so is the sexual tension between Black 007 and I. Now followers of the Blog will note that he and I have decided to take things slow by re-establishing our friendship and "seeing where it goes". Bloggers I have a confession this is more Black's idea than it is mine.... I have not had sex in 6 months and holding out for longer when there is someone to help release the tension is crazy in my book...I can resist anything but temptation. However I do realise that jumping into bed with him can set this relationship back a lot because we all know sex complicates things. It creates intimacy,a little addiction, trust and love...all because someone has seen us naked and didn't laugh...(obviously its more than that but you get what I am trying to say...no sex with Black 007 until we are both ready to be in an exclusive, committed relationship). Somehow though I know that this go slow approach only exists because Black 007 wants to be sure that I am sure that I am ready to handle being in a relationship, he wants to be certain that this time I am really ready and open to love and trust a man without sabotaging it. So I have to be patient and really show him that I AM READY FOR HIS LOVE. BUT its hard being patient with this weather...what is it with warm weather and sex? The temperature rises and so does the libido. Black 007 and I went to a Barbie aka BBQ AKA cook out aka braai and while we were sipping on mojito's sitting on lounge chairs looking out at the beautiful beach and the waves crashing he suddenly gets up, leans over me with a cheeky grin, as he stares into my eyes, I could feel our bodies inching towards each other until our lips are inches apart,the he whispers "right now kissing you would be as normal as breathing air but I know I wouldn't be able to stop at your lips"....then he pulls away and walks back into the party. The whole night was really weird after wards because he was acting like nothing happened! Like he didn't leave me in a quivering mess outside busy fantasizing and shit....WTF??? I swear bloggers I was in the zone...I was ready to be taken advantage of and this man pulls back! To make it worse whenever my drink ran out or I needed water he would be right there to lean in, place his large hands on the small of my back and ask in a whisper if I needed anything knowing that his warm breath was tickling my earlobe and sending shivers down my spine right to my happy place. So you can imagine how pissed I was when this man dropped me off, kissed me on the cheek and acted like the electricity in the air was normal. I am on a mission bloggers. I am going to SEDUCE him...I am tired of playing the slow game. He wants me and I want him. So how does someone go about subtly seducing someone ....SUGGESTIONS PEOPLE!!! A male perspective is also wanted...how would you want someone to seduce you? SHONA VIXEN I know you know some subtle seduction items...joll and tune us exse! LOL... Until next time bloggers....watch the video of Floetry..say yes...my inspiration for this mission...

"loving you has taken time (taken time)
but i always knew you could be mine
i recognize the butterflies inside me tonight(tonight)
all you gotta do is say yes"

Breaking up

2008-10-03T00:20:00.004-04:00

"Baby, im sorry, i like you, i really do...... but im not sure im ready for this commitment. You are a wonderful person and you deserve someone who will appreciate you better than i am doing......... "

How's that for a break up line? I am trying to find the perfect words to say to NG cuz yep, u guessed, im breaking up with him. Im sorry to disappoint but he's so perfect, i like him alot, yet i cant bring myself to tell him i love you back. Im really sad about it but it'll be unfair to lead him on so its better i end it before he buys me a ring, who knows! We have spent a lot of time togeth er these few days, he took time off work to hang with me. He does everything right and some of my friends at work are so jealous of us. they think im a fool to want to dump him. Do u guys agree? Bondgirl thinks i should still hang in there for a little while, but hey im not listening to her, when she's still pushing her own perfect man away......

Lets figure this out together? He dresses well, has a great job, makes mad money, very handsome (very!), his family loves me, he's got a great personality. Our differences r compatible, hell, he watches ANTM and gossip girl with me.... We have our personal once a week away from each other, he's all ive ever dreamed off. My mum thinks he's the best thing since the microwave....lol.... So whats my problem. People say i have a commitment phobia. Do women have these? I need to settle down u know, my clock is ticking or how is it said? My mum is on my case, everyone believes that a single girl in NY and in my field may never settle down so this is a perfect opportunity to let them down. I think the problem is i still want my freedom. I hated giving up Chris, i still want to chat up random guys at bars, flirt endlessly with our models and even have some crazy night stands (ok, ive only had 2! and i want more). Is there anything that can be done to make me realise im getting older every day? So bloggers, ball's in your court. i think i need help. I plan on breaking up with him on sunday cuz he's got this romantic weekend get away planned and i dont want to spoil it.

On another issue, if you know a colleague is anorexic, should u confront them? When u do and they deny, what do you do? I have this colleague, lets call her Andrea who i have so much proof to believe is anorexic and it kills me to see it. SHe seems like one who's never going to listen to what i have to say anyway. You dont have to be skinny to be beautiful. She used to be so pretty but now shes too skinny and sometimes i wish i could take her home and feed her with my home cooked meals. Do you think i should say something to her? I dont want to seem like im interfering into her private life though.
I am really excited about work tomorrow cuz we;ve got a new consultant coming in and word round d streets is that he's HOT, STRAIGHT and SINGLE! i'm so getting in there.......lol......

Bond girl acting too white or Robin acting too Black?

2008-09-26T07:40:00.007-04:00

For all the bloggers that follow my crazy life you will be happy to know that Black 007 has found an apartment of his own and we have settled in to a comfortable routine of being friends. So much so that I dragged him out on Wednesday night for dinner with my brother TQ and his girlfriend Robin (not their real names) both of whom I have not seen in over 6-8 months. TQ and Robin have been dating for over a year and when I first met her I immediately liked her because she had this shy yet endearing quality about her. She had a sweet if not bordering on naive nature that made you want to look after her. I soon got to know her better and found her to be someone I could go to movies, the club, museums, fashion shows basically anywhere and have a really good time with because she was always enjoying the moment. The last time I saw her, she was coming out the hairdressers her long shiny black hair curled and coiffed to have this effortless farrah fawcett-esque like hairdo. Her hair framed her usual make up free face and I could see her tiny diamond studs twinkling at me. She was wearing a purple jersey dress that accentuated her ample hips and tiny waist, black stockings, black boots and purple tote bag with a gold medallion chain hanging from her neck. Now months later I had been hearing from a few sources that she had gone "GHETTO FAB" on my brother who was just as confused as everyone else.

On Wednesday night I got the confusion. Before me sat a very tanned, slightly slimmer girl her gorgeous black hair tamed into cornrows with extensions. As I leaned over the table to kiss her hello I could see up close the thick layer of matte foundation, kohl eyeliner and mascara encircling her green eyes as if caged. Her gold plated bangle like hoop earrings clanged as we kissed french style. Or I thought it was the earrings could have been the 2 neck chains or the 5 bracelets encasing each wrist. As I noticed all the jewelery her tongue ring and the extra ear piercings taunted me to comment. To top it off as she said hi to black007 she popped a piece of gum and then said "sorry homie, I am trying to quit smoking so you know how it be, gotta be on this gum shit". My mouth literally dropped open at the use of the word homie and you know how it be, the fact she had taken up smoking and that she now swore this from a girl who took classical music lessons, ballerina classes, french classes and had a degree in Arts/English Literature.

As we ate and caught up I realised she had changed a whole lot. Robin by the way had decided to shorten her name to Ro (insert rolling of the eyes here please). She was a lot louder and as she relayed her club stories, her recent fights waving her long french manicured nails with diamante in my face I cringed at the total destruction of her vocabulary. Imagine Katie Holmes suddenly dressing like Foxy Brown and speaking like one of those chicks on Maury Povich (No offense but this chick is Australian for goodness sake!). I sat back in my chair and surveyed the scene. I looked at my brother in his immaculate suit and her in mini black dress with very low back and stripper like shoes and wondered if he could see what I could see. By the way he was so focused on his plate of food and refusing to look at me and his one word answers to my questions he obviously knew what I was thinking. To top off our bizarre dinner at the end I had been eating honey and sesame prawns and she had been eating ribs I asked the waitress for two finger bowls with lemon and Robin turns to me and says "damn girl, you is soooo white, asking for finger bowls and speaking all correct with it...you know how we do. Keep it real and use napkins". I kid you not bloggers my eyes widened, my heart beat quickened and I semi attempted to rise when I felt Black007 quickly clamp his hand on my hand to drag me right back down. I was too shocked to speak. Did this girl think that my good behaviour, my parents expensive investment in top education and my cultural experiences = WHITE?? And implied her trashy get up, her tacky jewelery, make up and her language was what being black was about?? I didn't even know who to be angrier at my brother for allowing her to go this far or myself for not correcting her there and then?

Now I should add here that I love my black people. We come in different shades, from different places with different values and attitudes. We live in ghettos,in mansions, in middle class neighbour hoods, in council flats, in huts and on the street. Watching BET entertainment will never convey who we really are nor can watching Soulja Boy Crank That define what we strive to be in life. How someone thinks that by speaking a certain way, wear certain clothes, walk with a certain swagger, sleep with the black men of the hour can make them black just lets me understand that Talib Kweli was right...they just know the name they dont know the pain.

As it turns out I didn't have to give her a dressing down Black007 was the one who took her back to school. We walked to our cars and Black007 walked towards his car a black Audi to open the passenger door for me and then Robin says.."Dang...Niggas is rollin...whaaaaaaaaaaat!!". My brother stepped in front of that girl so quickly because he knew that was like the word that made it the last straw. Black007 paused, I could see the vein in his neck throbbing. He turned slowly and walked right up to the couple. All he said was " Ro, Robin whatever you call yourself... I am not a Nigga, I do not speak the way you speak, my beautiful black sisters dress sexy and modestly and are always leading fashion where it should be not where it has been. You.... you are a lost child. Find your way home before you get so lost everyone forgets who you were and what you looked like.... you are you mothers daughter act like it".....

Ah that man.....always says it so well... so what are your opinions people, did she deserve the dressing down?? until next time bloggers....

The 'L' word............. hmmmn!!!!!

2008-09-22T08:01:00.002-04:00

I'd never been happier to be back in NY. I had to stop over briefly in London during the fashion week which i wont lie was great. I'm just a bit tired of tartan! I love shopping in London, the high street stores are so cheap and nice, top shop, next, river island, new look, even Primark.... you get good bargains which no one knows where they r from in NY. I remember i wore a dress to work some months ago and my boss couldnt stop admiring it. When i told her i bought it for approximately $30, she flipped!
Anyway, so i land at JFK at like 2pm on saturday and guess who i was standing there holding a bouquet of yellow roses? yep! NG...... i was really tired and in my mind i was like what the f**k? i was so not ready to deal with him. I put on my Oscar performance. Shouted Baby! across the baggage claim, jumped into his arms, kissed him and oohed and aahed the 'i miss you baby' lines! You should have seen me, you'd think we just got engaged. He took me home. Pls note, i only told him my arrival time, i said specifically pls dont pick me, i'd take a cab..... So i guess guy was feeling romantic. I really dont need this now.....
Remember in my last post, i said i was telling Chris. I did, he was heartbroken, oh no, i think he feigned it cuz we both knew we had no future. he's french, im Nigerian and the only condition my parents were still putting up with my job, personality, and lifestyle (My mum hates everything i do, where i live and everything cuz she believes a decent Nigerian girl should be a doctor, lawyer, and not dress people up ! or one of those things, yea she loves bondgirl cuz shes a lawyer) was if i vowed to marry a Nigerian; and i intend on keeping it for peace to reign. Chris and i split over a final breaking up sex which was wow! too explicit to describe. It involves a jaccuzzi, whipped cream, strawberries and water proof sex toys... so go figure! Its over for city girl and Chris, i hope!

We get home: NG and i, and he drops me off asking me to come over to his for dinner that night, did i tell u guys he was a good cook? he actually did go to a culinary school for a year. What dont they do in new york. At 7pm, dressed up and looking very french with my red beret and pumps..... (i love dressing european) i set off for his house. We had dinner, which was lovely, lamb sure tastes good, had homemade chocolate cake for dessert and watched a movie, the notebook.... how hopelessly romantic! i was quite uncomfortable with all the mushiness he was acting out. He asked me to spend the night which was no problem. The man has needs right? Now here comes the problem, when we were cuddled and all silent and about to sleep, NG says, city girl i love you......... Stunned and shocked, i let out a fake soft snore.......

This is hanging in the air. He thinks i didnt hear him so im sure he'd say it again. How am i to react? i like him, but love? not yet, lets still see how it goes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As women, why do we love someone who doesnt love us back and when we meet a guy who's totally into us, we hesitate??????

Im going for an early morning work out and yoga class...... help figure how i'd respond the next time he uses the L word

"If you dont stand for something you will fall for anything"

2008-09-17T06:19:00.003-04:00

Bond Girl is still single. Don't worry this is good news. Black 007 is back and he and I discussed our relationship at length. I am a person who can not be rushed nor pushed into something as big as a relationship without laying the ground work first. He is a man who knows what he wants from the beginning and works hard to lay out and keep his goals. So after talking so much this week (yes just talk bloggers, I was tempted, he was VERY tempted but we have held off for now)we came to the decision to be friends for a little while. We have been out of each others daily lives for awhile now and need to get back into the routine of being friends..... for now at least. It is very tempting at the moment especially because he has moved out of his hotel and is staying in my spare room while I help with apartment hunting.

As for work...I quit. I called Ms DWP's bluff and I handed in my resignation giving her a full months notice of my departure. She tried to give me back the job I was demoted from, then tried to give me the head position. I had to decline bloggers because I could see that this woman only worked well by having a hold over her employees. The constant threat of redundancy, the constant feeling of being close to a breakdown due to the work load, the constant humiliation of public dressing downs via her cutting remarks or lectures was how she controlled everyone in that office. Funnily enough City Girl and Black 007 gave me the same good advice

If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything

.

After cleaning my house for 4 hours and hiding any sign of Black 007 which included burning incense to clear any male scent that might be lingering I then had to do the most difficult thing. Tell my mother. When I told my her of my decision she was not impressed. First she looked up at the ceiling of my apartment with an annoyed look on her face as if she was asking God why he had given her me, why not a simple child with simple issues? Then she clicked her tongue and said casually "you know joblessness is a disease that has an expensive cure?...I hope you are thinking with your wallet and not your heart". It was hard not to laugh but you know African mothers if you laugh when there is no joke...you might as well slap yourself and save her the trouble. I tried to reassure and promise her that I had enough of my savings to last me 6 months of joblessness during which time I would not succumb to prostitution, stripping or god forbid working at KFC. (How she equates or puts prostitution and working at KFC as part of the worst things I could do is just funny but that's my mother) As she was leaving she said "I hope the man living here is paying rent, I did not raise my child to be a charity haven. Make sure you clean your lounge suite as I can smell his cologne. In fact ask him what it is, it smells nice. Maybe your father might like it eh?"..... Bloggers I was speechless....still am... Ah well the powers of an African mother....until next time bloggers

Live from Paris

2008-09-13T05:56:00.003-04:00

Warning: Post may be incoherent and mixed up due to excessive drinking and partying....... Sorry!

Arrrgghhh!!!!!! Hangover is a biatch....... Ive this splitting headache and i can barely look at my screen! i cant even remember what i drank. i think i stopped counting after the third champagne bottle. Blame sexy Christian, forcing me to go out last night to celebrate a new client he got. Yea, im still in Paris, even though the events are officially over. Let me rewind to a day before i left NY.

Packing for my trip, NG (remember i blogged about him earlier) buzzes my apartment, i opened the door in my VS sweat pants and tank top, looking a bit dishevelled. Looking at me, he burst out "I want us to be committed"... see me see trouble. Ha, when i had plans for Paris, to enjoy my days of non-commitment while they last. He said he was up all night thinking and realised he wanted me, he even used the L word. I was shocked and stunned. I told him i cant answer him now cuz my mind is on the trip and we will definitely talk when i get back.

I got on the plane very confused the next morning. I like NG bu im not sure if i want to be in a relationship. I have been wary since Akin and i have actually never been in a serious rship since then. Besides, i have Chris and some other guys im not sure i want to cut out of my life yet. By the way, reading comments here have changed my opinions slightly about Nigerians. I left nigeria at an early age and didnt get to fully converse with nigerian girls my age and most Nigs i interact with here and while i was in Europe are so hypocritical and quick to judge. This made me steer clear and i really dont have a nigerian friend i can say is cool. They talk behind ur back, judge u and all that s**t. I was particularly stunned at the advice i was getting here. I love u guys im meeting here.
Anyway, i got to Paris with the girl from the London office who i joined at Heathrow to come down together. She's actually really nice and not stuck up like some i meet. Getting to the hotel, guess who i saw first at the reception. Christian! Thank God i was looking on point. Ladies, skirts are verryyyyyyy sexy. trust me. He comes straight to me grinning like a cat's who found milk....lol... I love the way french people greet cuz u cant tell if its romantically or professionally so it suited me fine. Dont want office rumors. The five days of the event were great, with Chris i mean. We had dinner, went round town, the partied and basically did something every night and he always came over to my hotel room after. Btw, Afrobabe i went shopping and got NG beautiful shirts..... :) (part of my being nice technique) I have been having the best time of my life and im dreading going back to NY cuz im not sure what to tell NG. I asked my boss for a couple extra days to learn a few things in the Paris office..... lol...... Can you imagine who signed off the request from the office here? yep. Chris! and who says office romance doesnt pay????
Im tired, i have to meet Chris for brunch in one hour and i think i should tell him about NG since im leaving in 2 days..........

Enter Black 007 into the City of Sin (Beware long post )

2008-09-10T06:16:00.008-04:00

Let me take a breather because I am so confused and don't know where to begin with the story of the man I never let go of, the man who puts L to shame, the man who I should be married to, the man I still yearn to marry, the man who knows me inside and out and who would leave no doubt that I was his when I was in his company. He is Black 007 the one who changed me from a naive girl to a street wise sophisticate. Sometimes I ask if he is real or imagined? Perfection can not come in this divine human form and surely can not be owned. But I digress bloggers I need to calm this erratic beating that I think is my heart but sounds like drums of mother Africa within me.

I call him Black 007 because when we met we both were looking for a bond movie at the video rentals. I was 16, he was 18 and to me he was so mature and to be honest he is still so mature. We dated for 4 years and in that time he never pushed for me sex, all he said was "its yours and you decide when". In our 3rd year my parents marriage started to crack and all the ugly stories started to come out. They never divorced but the she said, he said war took its first victims...the naivete and trust of the three children (myself, my older brother and my twin sisters)Before my parents marriage was exposed I was so sure that I would marry Black 007 because he was goal oriented, ambitious, intelligent, gorgeous, kind, loving and supportive. When I met him he was working 2 jobs and studying for his double degree in Business and Law, by the time he was twenty he had purchased an apartment with his parents help. At the time I was 19 and I think my parents thought they did not need to shield me anymore. I found out about other relationships in the family I had envied and wanted to emulate where the truth had been hidden,(you know the usual stories of abusive husbands, cheating husbands, second and in some cases third families). It shattered my belief in love, marriage and trust. By our fourth year I was drifting away from Black 007. Finally he confronted me and asked me to make a choice. I made it on my birthday. For the first time in four years we made love. The next morning I woke him up to tell him it was over. We parted as friends but he made me promise that I would only contact him when I needed help. It has been six years and in that time I have seen him twice. One time I went to him when he needed me and the other time when I needed him. I don't know where he has been for the last two years, last I hear he was working in New York (thanks to City Girl!) The only contact I have is his email address that he set up especially for me, if I need him I email.

When I was leaving the office last Friday my heart was heavy even though the mood around me was light and jovial. Ms DWP has given the job I was after to someone else and has now demoted me. (All this in another blog I promise) I was annoyed at peoples laughter and chatter. As I stepped out of the elevator. He was just standing there. It's hard not to miss him. Not that many black well dressed good looking men in Australia. I saw him and started to wail...not cry bloggers but wail. I feel so ashamed saying it now. But seeing him was like as if God had sent an Angel to say everything was going to be alright. I looked at him and took it all in and when I reached out to hug him I was so sure he was going to disappear.

I love his bald head. I would love to lightly run my perfectly french manicured nails across his shapely head and down his chocolate neck and back up again. I love the fact that his Hugo Boss suits fit him so well. Tailored to fit each athletic thigh, hug his tapered waist while his Jacket hangs effortlessly loose and comfortable off his 6 foot 3 frame. When he reaches for me I can see the bulge of his biceps straining against the soft fabric and his crisp white shirt crackles as if electrified by being so close to that steely carriage. I close my eyes to breathe in his Issey Miyake signature scent transporting the images of he and I to an island far from here. His LL Cool J style lips almost made me lose focus of what he was saying but his hazel eyes with those little specks of gold hypnotized me, willing me to stay focused. All I hear are the words "I have moved to live in Australia, Melbourne to be specific." They say God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh... On Friday I believed it. I had stopped crying but I was unsure of what that meant. For years I have been trying to replace this man with men not even worthy to take his place and now that he is here I only want him to resume his place.

Oh ladies and gentleman summer's heat is nearly here and its light breeze has blown into Melbourne the city of sin bringing with it the sweet torturous return of Black 007. Whoooooosh!! I am in so much trouble....you won't believe the week I have had with this man, I feel so tired but there is so much to share.I am so grateful that this blog idea came up now because who else would I share with so candidly? So I ask blogsville before I leave how do you deal with your past? I need to go now I can smell a beautiful dinner wafting upstairs. Can't disappoint the Chef now? Until next time bloggers...

Questions 2

2008-09-09T11:32:00.003-04:00

Today's post is about answering the second part of the questions we were tagged in. Sorry Mona its coming late. Im currently in paris and its been hectic. I have so much to tell, but thats for the next post.. very very soon. dont let me start spilling. Fortunately for me, im in this boring seminar about colour analysis and body types.... like i need more info for my clients, so im blogging away while some size zero b***h is blabbing (im sorry, i hate her. we've clashed before on a seminar like this). Anyway, where was i? yeah, questions! Happy reading!

36. Are you a beach, country or city person
Definitely City: i love my New york... ok maybe the beach when in love...

37. Best vacation spot you’ve been to?
have you ever tried Morocco?

38. Have you ever had a “secret affair?”
Numerous times.... the more secretive, the more interesting, trust me

39. If you could own a non-traditional pet which would it be?
Maybe a lion

40. Favorite show as a child?
Sesame street

41. Where do you spend most of your money?
Saks, Barneys and Vintage and thrift stores in Europe

42. Are you currently working at a job that you hate?
Yes and No.... complicated

43. Have you ever been so heart broken that you called in sick to work?
Yes, for 2 weeks..... lied i had an operation

44. Favorite summer drink?
Iced tea

45. Can you change a car tire?
Hell yeah

46. Favorite cologne / perfume?
Givenchy, very irresistible

47. Favorite candle scent?
lavender (Mona and i r so alike)

48. Would you consider yourself adventurous?
does it involve wearing over 4 inches heel on a rainy day, then yes

49. What is your My Space profile song?
Not into social networking. i meet enuf people as it is. Blogging is my first

50. Favorite concert attended?
R Kelly

51. Would you date an already attached man / woman?
Been there, done that. its bad right?

52. Would you sing Karaoke in front of co-workers?
Yea, alcohol induced though

53. Can you shoot pool?
Yup....

54. Do you like your siblings’ significant others?
One brother and his boyfriend.... hes cool, he does my hair so y not?

55. Can you drive a stick?
Nope. never!

56. Did you wear white at your wedding?
Single and proud. dont think i will tho

57. Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?
WHen i was naive

58. Ever skip school and spend the day at the beach?
Skipped school for parties...... teenage wild years

59. Favorite TV show/s?
ANTM, Project runway, Prison break, ugly betty, Sex and the city, brothers and sisters, friends....

60. What do you think about gay marriage?
indifferent

62. what are you waiting for at the movies?
Nothing really. maybe a movie with wentworth miller naked

63. What is your favorite holiday?
Thanksgiving!!!!

64. Describe your fighting style: drunken master or angry monkey?
i dont think i have one

65. Piercing?
a few too many....imgaine the places.... guys love it!

66. Tattoos?
No, im kinda not into it.

67. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Hmmm... too many choices. probably victorias secret

68. Thongs? yes or no.
Yea,

69. Write 2 truths and 1 lie.
- I have once had a threesome
I never wear flat shoes
I am addicted to coffee

Mona's questions answered!!

2008-09-08T10:09:00.003-04:00

City Girl and I were recently tagged by our fellow blogger, Mona to answer a few questions. It has taken us a bit of time....Sorry Mona!! City Girl and I spent a few hours over the phone until we decided we would halve the questions (we hope that's allowed?)LOL. Anyway happy reading!

1. What’s worse - Physical or Mental cheating?
Physical! I catch you …you will never look in the mirror without looking behind you.

2. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
It’s easier to forgive and forget if you do not know someone well but if its someone who I love that has wronged me…eish its pressure for them to get in the good books again!

3. Can men and women be “Just Friends?”
If one is uglier than the other or gay…yes…LOL Its possible if people are honest about their intentions from day one

4. Dating co-workers?
Mona said never but I can’t say never…what if I work with Tyson Beckford one day?

5. All expenses paid vacation to anywhere?
South of France

6. On the way to the electric chair - What’s your last meal?
A good merlot with steak, creamy mushroom sauce and crispy chunky hot chips. Oh and dessert a nice baileys cheesecake.

7. Water parks are…?
Are great for 40 degree days!

8. When you are “In Love” do you notice other people?
What other people, if he aint will smith, denzel, Tyson Beckford….are you getting the drft??

9. Is flirting cheating?
Flirting is relative these days… so I would need to see what the other person terms as flirting

10. Would you rather have 1 great friend or 5 pals?
1 great friend.

11. If someone called you a bitch would you be offended?
Depends on who it is...

12. Are you ok with your significant other being friends with an ex?
Again relative because some ex’s are ok others are like a danger to leave your man in the same country with let alone room.

13. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
No, that’s giving the milk away for free when they should be considering buying the cow

14. Favorite sport?
football, running

15. Is toilet paper hung over or under?
under

16. Do you squeeze toothpaste from the middle or end of the tube?
Middle!

17. How do you feel about tanning booths?
I am black so I don’t need to feel anything.

18. Friends with benefits?
Its good for short term but once over the 3 month mark you might as well be dating each other

19. Do you believe in angels?
Yes.

20. Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures?
Take, any day

21. Have you ever flirted with someone you had no interest in?
Well yes, I needed something at the time

22. Ever kissed a random person and then walked away?
Yes….. blushing…. Alcohol induced of course!

23. Would you buy bootleg merchandise?
You can not say you are black and have never bootlegged….its survivor mentality. What you can not get for free we will bootlegg

24. What color looks best on you?
Purple, red, black, white, gold and silver

25. If you could play any sport professionally what would it be?
Basketball but I can’t play it for real

26. Ever break up with someone and regret it?
Yes one time and tried to correct it and then I regretted trying to correct that

27. Are you a jealous person?
Again it depends on how I feel about you.

28. Would you ever have plastic surgery?
Never

29. When do you want to get married?
Is it by force? Whenever!

30. Who has the sexiest accents?
Spanish, French, Scottish, irsih

31. Next concert you’re attending?
Alicia Keys and Snoop Dog if they let him in the country this time!

32. Favorite song?
He loves me- Jill Scott

33. Favorite movie?
Ah too many but I love the Usual suspects

34. What’s your occupation?
Currently Legal Research assistant

35. What’s your sign?

Sagittarius

Ghost from the past

2008-09-05T03:53:00.003-04:00

I am going to Paris on Monday. I should be excited right? cuz its for a fashion event and the who's who in the fashion industry will be there. A lot of people want this opportunity and will do anything for it. Unfortunately, i am not excited. 2 years ago, yes! i'd be jumping up and down, rushing home to pack. Now, i wish i was not chosen. I'll tell you why. Before i do that, i read some comments about how fab my job is. Ok, i admit, its really glamorous and fab, you get to meet fashion designers, celebrities, models and important clients and also get a lot of free stuff which to to the outside eye, looks perfect. Trust me, im a black girl, size us 6, who constantly has to deal with racist motherfuckers and size 0 models, persuading them to let you dress them. The pay is excellent, the contacts are great but the harshness, the tears, the stress, are another battle. As time goes on, i'd share the good and the bad times of my job. One of the perks is i get to go for fashion events. Hence, this annual Paris event by a famous designer (sorry confidentiality agreement at work, cant mention his name). We r flying first class, staying at a 5 star hotel, good service, u name it. Still i am sad at going. This is due to a senior consultant in our Paris office. His name is Christian. I confess here, ive been very wild. When i broke up with Akin, i threw caution in the wind and got pressured with work and started hanging out with a different crowd, had wild fun, used guys and all. It was on one of these wild ocassions that Christian came to NY. He's french and he's a senior consultant under my division. He's HOT! seriously. i never had a flair for white guys but he's different. Im getting horny just typing about him...lol.... One thing led to another and we had a week long of great sex with no commitment. As per the sex, i have no regrets. we never broke it off. I flew to Paris a couple of times and he came to NY to see me. Our affair was great esp the phone sex aspect. After a couple of months, i got tired of him and i never told him why i cut all contacts. I avoided him when he came to NY and when i went to Paris. He still wants me and i think i secretly still do. C'mon dont judge me :). Now i ve new guy (NG), who i'd be gisting u about soon and i never told NG my past, he doesnt have to know, does he? and even though we are not totally exclusive, i dont want to cheat on him.... It will be hard cuz temptation!!!!! Chris is so romantic.... (drooling). I cant avoid Chris at the event cuz only 3 people get to go from my office and he's one of the group. He emailed me yesterday to tell me he was looking forward to the event esp, to seeing me.
Now see why im not looking forward to the trip. I cant tell my manager im not going, whats my excuse? Its a career booster. I need advice on how to resist Chris, maybe i should tell NG and that may make matters easier, cuz if i know he's aware, i'd be very careful. Ive told Chris im in a rship but he' french, cant be bothered! what will u do if u were in my shoes?

The afternoon delight and Devil Wears Prada

2008-09-03T01:53:00.006-04:00

Hi bloggers after calming myself down with the assistance of City girl I have now returned to give you some more insight into this crazy life of mine down under. Unlike City girl my job is relatively boring. I work as a legal research assistant for a boutique law firm based in Melbourne's central business district. It already sounds boring right? Well it would be if you did not know what went on in the hallowed halls of D & D associates. My immediate boss Ms. DWP (Devil Wears Prada) wears the latest and only the most expensive outfits to work, her Christian Louboutin sky scraper stilettos are surely a health and safety code violation nine times over, her Chanel perfume is so strong you know whether she has just entered, is about to enter or has just left a room by the sstrength of the scent. She has her hair appointments every Friday at 3pm and her full spa session at 4pm on a Monday. I pity her secretaries and I am eternally grateful I only need to see her 3 times in a week or when I am required. My job is to research legislation, facts about clients and the other side that is relevant to the case. I am like a detective but better paid and if I might say better dressed. Now today was a funny day as it turns out Ms. DWP has just fired her 2nd Secretary (she has three in total, do not ask me why) Anyway Secretary 2 was fired today, her offence you may ask? Well to the outsider it was a simple case. It would seem that Secretary 2 was caught blogging about her boss and some clients! LOL If I had known about this blog I would have been a contributor (don't worry bloggers, I am hoping that the Blog has not been deleted because we can all delight in reading the blog post link from here.) Unlike Secretary 2 I do not stupidly blog at work. Our computers are regularly checked for "illegal downloads, unsavoury folders or files or any like documents potentially harmful to the privacy of the firm and its clients" or so says the contract we all signed when we started.
As Ms.DWP is currently sleeping with the head IT manager who also happens to be....wait for it....drum roll..... Secretary 2's fiancee it was only a matter of time before she was going to be caught out. I hear Secretary 2 is planning on suing the firm for invasion of privacy but believe me she might as well give up now. Her boss has her job, her man and will have her dignity if she goes down that path, tha woman is quite ruthless. Now you may wonder how I know about Ms.DWP and her boy toy aka afternoon delight. I do not know what is with people these days and the lack of professionalism they show. Two weeks ago we had after work drinks to celebrate a recent highly publicised court win and Ms.DWP feeling particularly jovial and generous invited us to her house for more drinks. Now normally invitations like these I would respectfully decline but as I am currently angling for a promotion getting into Ms.DWP's good books was important. So I attended, besides I have a little crush on Ms.DWP's younger brother who lives with her....make the most of every opportunity I say! Now Ms.DWP got quite hammered on Grand Mimosa's and I became her new best friend. She told me more than I needed to know like the places they had made love in all over the office like the photocopier room, the kitchen (eeeeew), the conference room...etc etc (I am so taking anti-bacterial spray and wipes to work tomorrow). She also told me the people she intended to fire this year (thankfully I was not on the list). Now the day after she took a week off work and returned this week to fire Secretary 2 and some other employees based in Sydney. I approached her today to discuss my promotion which had been hanging in the balance for the last 3 months, it had been dangled over my head to make sure I continued working the sweat shop hours I currently work. Today was my appointment to discuss my promotion and do you know what this woman said to me? After working for 3 years for this firm, Monday sometimes through to Saturday, covering for people who were late, absent, quit, got fired without complaining once, never been sick or late either. She HAS THE AUDACITY to advise me that "You are still a bit young to handle the very difficult position of head researcher as it requires a certain level of experience and professionalism which I think you need to work on for a few more months." Now bloggers I was speechless, I tried to point out that I had effectively held that position unofficially for the last six months as the head researcher had suddenly quit and they had not replaced him in all that time. Who did she think had been running things? Now I feel knowledge is power bloggsville, should I use my knowledge? Fraternising with fellow employees is not looked favourably upon at our office and in fact I can say that unofficially it is not allowed. So what should I do? I deserve this promotion and I can see that this woman does not listen to reason.....

As per City Girl, I hope Akin has decided to see the light now and maybe her and I can now focus on this problem at hand. I am not a Naija babe but I can invoke some of that Naija strength she has in her. Till next time bloggers.....

Confused

2008-09-02T06:39:00.003-04:00

" I want us to get back together"......... Akin said as soon as i met him at the starbucks near my office 2 weeks ago. Ok, let me give you his background. He was one one of the first people i met when i got transferred to New york from the Boston office five years ago. We got really close and eventually we started going out. I loved him a lot. I was 21 then, in a new city and in a career where everyone was a snob. He treated me right, made me feel less lonely and i adored him. Besides, he was 25 and was an investment banker on wall street. We dated for three years, even got close to being engaged. He left me for a girl he met at one of my company's fashion shows: a fellow nigerian. I was heartbroken, and threw myself in my work. We stopped talking and the last time i heard from him was a year ago when i ran into him at the annual office party. You can imagine my surprise when he started calling my house, office and stalking me till i agreed to have 5 mins coffee with him on a lunch break that fateful thursday.
I was stunned. He further explained that he made a mistake cuz he felt i pushed him away while we were dating. Can you imagine? He knew my nature of work. I am an image consultant and i work with fashion companies to dress up their clients, update them on the trends and sometimes attend fashion shows all around the world. He was supportive and said thats what he loved most about me, the fact that i took him out of the boring finance world whenever we were together. His story was the girl, Michelle, dumped him cuz she felt he was too boring. This made him realise that i was the one for him and if only i could give him another chance to prove that we can still make it work. He still loved me, bla bla bla......
I had dreamt of this moment, a time he'd want me back. I'd imagined ill be excited cuz honestly i kinda still love him. Now im confused. I just started seeing this guy, though he's not Nigerian and he's been good to me. I dont want to get hurt by Akin again. Am i a rebound? if things had worked out with Michelle, would he have come back?
All these thoughts were in my head when i looked tearfully at him, telling him No, i'd moved on. The moment i said it, i realised that i'd indeed moved on.
How do i stop him from harrassing me with his constant apologies, letters, emails, flowers and expensive gifts? Oh well, ive been enjoying the Balanciega bag he sent me on last friday.

P:s: im loving here already. everyone's blog is so different..... don't regret accepting bondgirl's invite.

An Introduction

2008-09-01T18:32:00.003-04:00

I met bondgirl when i was 5 years old, our fathers worked for the same company. we became best friends and were separated at age 7. She moved to australia, and i moved to Nigeria. We never stopped being friends........ years later, i moved to the UK. We r the definition of best friends. Always been there for each other and never cared about the distance. When she sold me the idea of us creating a blog together to unleash our views, pains, experiences and general life issues anonymously, i was glad. we have been through a lot together and its time we let other people in. Welcome to our world. I currently shuttle between the US and the UK, while bond girl stays in melbourne. The funny thing about our friendship is we have not seen each other since we were 7, yet we can account for every second of each other's lives. This blog is kind of a self discovery and stability. we give and seek advice from more experienced people, share our pains and pleasures...... hopefully, y'all wil enjoy our blog as much as we r thrilled to be here. I have to go, my phone's ringing.... its bond girl who i guess is calling me to update me on her evening with L

Rule number 1 for any girl...let alone a bond girl..

2008-09-01T09:30:00.005-04:00

I can not believe I broke rule number 1, I thought last night as I stamped my frozen clad feet on the pavement in nothing but a pair of dainty sky high, black gladiator style stiletto's. I knew it, I just knew it. I was fuming, you might ask why any self respecting female over the age of 21 would be standing at a taxi rank with no taxi's located on a dark street, save for the fluorescent street light flickering over head in a neighbourhood she was not familiar with and wearing under her coat a flimsy black cocktail dress. It all started when I broke rule number 1. My on/off man friend shall we call him had requested I appear as his date to some fancy cocktail party hosted by one of his flashy friends in Melbourne's social scene at some place I had never heard of. When... lets call him Lucifer shall we? called me on Thursday night I knew that even saying the word yes was dangerous. It went something like this:

BG: " Hi Lu, hows tricks?"
L: "Nothing doing babe, just this and that"
(L never answered a question specifically it was always in general terms...ask him how he was and he would reply...."oh not mad not sad" Anyway I digress...)
BG: I wait, he rang he should speak next... silence for 2 minutes at which point I realise he is brushing his teeth. "Ah, Lu" I say impatiently "What is it that you wanted?"
L: finishes brushing his teeth, spits, gargles and then says "You...babe...only you..."
BG: At this point I sigh and look outside my kitchen window to see a young kid of about 13 with a G UNIT tracksuit breaking and entering into my neighbours car. I didn't yell...the man is a racist...deserves to get his car broke into. Anyway I then turned my attention back to L.
"Look L," I begin "Life is short and time is money...I am in short supply of both...so please"
L: Chuckles, "You always did have a sense of humour baby. Well here it is, you and me have been invited to a swanky do tomorrow night @ 9pm, Frankie's house."
BG: By now I knew L not to ask too many questions as I think he suffered from ADD the only time he focused I believed was when he was trying to get me into bed. So my window of opportunity to ask normal questions like dress code, what to bring, how many guests etc etc was limited. I stuck to asking the important ones. "So are you picking me up and what time?"
L: "no babe. cant have some stuff to take care of but let me give you an address."
I waited while he looked for the invite and when he finally found it he sounded out of breath when he came back on the phone. While I jotted down the address I realised that this must be the height of being pathetic and single because who says yes to a date the night before with her only questions being where and when? Just as I was about to go I heard L say my name in that barely there voice, that was so deep and velvety and smooth... it always made my knees weak..
"Yes L" I whimpered, fool I thought.
L: "Wear something sexy.short. something I can enjoy looking at. I've really missed you babe"
By the time I had realised he had hung up the dial tone had rung out, while my imagination had run rampant about soft butterfly kisses and....
Ok back to the reason I was standing there in the cold. L and I met up all right and the party was great. I looked great, he looked divine. He looked better than the chocolate fudge sauce they put on top of the ice cream on top of pancakes....divine I tell you. We were inseparable. He introduced me to all his friends and commented on how I was the most outstanding woman at the party. 20 minutes into the party I was ready to drag him home with me. However 6 hours later at 3am we stumbled out of the house with his three best mates, all of us high in spirits or more precisely high on Makers Mark. Leaving the party I assumed that he and I would go on to my place (his was an absolute tip and I swear last time I slept there I had to see the doctor soon after about some weird skin thing on my arm). However his best mate of the group and the drunkest one had lost his keys so as a favour the boys decide that they would help carry him the 2 or 3 blocks to his house and help him break in. I with my heels was not having it and thought L after seeing my protestations would break rank and let the other two haul his drunken mate home. Instead L comes over to me and wraps his strong, warm body around mine and in between the sweetest of tender kisses he says..."Babe...(kiss)...it wont take (kiss) long to (kiss) drop him off....(kiss) ok....(longer kiss). I like a deaf mute first nodded my head up and down for a few seconds, then realising he required actual words to proceed, told him I would wait for him at the taxi rank across the street but he would have to promise to be back within the half hour. And bloggers you know what this sexy, tall, chocolate, divine being said to me? From those full succulent lips, shining slightly from my cocoa icing lip gloss kisses he said..."TRUST ME'... and I upon hearing those words like the drunken fool I was, smiled and walked to the taxi rank. Number 1 rule of the Bond Girl or anyone else for that matter never trust anyone let alone a man who says trust me. TRUST is implied, there is no need to make it explicit and put it out there. Trust me had me waiting next to this taxi rank in the cold for 1-1/2 hrs.... TRUST ME he had said. When a taxi did finally arrive at the rank, I took one long look down the darkened street for any signs of life , I saw nothing except for the street sweeper making its way noisily down the street. I wiped icy tears from my eyes and climbed in. When I got home I went straight to bed, switching my mobile off dare he should ring. Knowing he would not. I woke up this morning bloggers and switched my phone on to hear this message from L with the bass of his velvety voice running through me,
"Hey babe, lovely night last night. Dropped Cam off finally but the boys asked me to stay for a few at the pub round the corner. I figured you would have gone anyway. You know how those boys are can't trust them! Anyway any chance I can drop by today....maybe we can play.......poker...yeah poker. Call me."

I threw my phone against the wall after i had replayed the message about 10 more times..... TRUST ME, I won't be calling him tonight, my phone is broken now isn't it? Which is a bit of a problem because I still need to call city girl.....