Bond Girl Pushes Back....  

Monday 22 December 2008


Black has gone to New York to finish up his move. Now he has lived here for awhile told the firm he works for he would like to be permanently based here. Although I won't spend Xmas and new years with him at least I know he will be safe with City Girl....if not drunk half the time. LOL! City Girl is excited because he is bringing her, her Xmas gifts from me and the rest of my family including Black and his family (she's like an adopted fifth child that one!) and those two love to gossip so they are both excited about seeing each other. Even with the twins here the place seems so much quieter and larger without his presence. I have to say though I was quite happy because Teni doesn't need to be around him during xmas. My family Insurance has worked brilliantly, his whole family kept him so busy in his final days here that he didn't even manage to see her and forgot to text her he was going. He asked me to text everyone on his phone and sort out his messages.. hahahaha...he trusts me too much sometimes. By the time I got to the T's in his phone I skipped Teni's name called or emailed everyone else. It was only by the fact that she is a persistent hood rat that she even found out he had left.

Four days after his departure she came to my house looking for him....the exchange was funny. Apparently she was worried because she had not seen or heard from him in a while and she was going through some ish. I took so much joy in telling her that he had left for New York four days prior and was returning "when he was returning...after all if he wanted you to know he would have left contact details right?". She had the audacity to still ask for his number! I told her that I was not going to give it her because she had no business using it. This child then put her hands on her hips and her true colours came out again I knew that sweet and innocent act was not going to last. She proceeded to tell me that she would make my life a living hell, that she will tell Black that I was rude to her when she came crying for his assistance. Now I think I have said on this Blog before that I am the sort of person who will take a lot before I give back a little of what has been done to me. But when I do you will feel it. If you back me into a corner and dare me to make a move I will not climb above or dig below to avoid you, I will go straight through you. I warned her twice to let the issue go and for her to leave my house. she refused. At this point I had Ludacris's song stuck in my head "Move bitch, get out the way, get out the way....you don't know me like that"...it was like speaking to me! Teni eyed me up and down like she was daring me, like she was challenging me to do something and that's when I lost it. I mean here she shows up at my door questioning me about the whereabouts of my man...I am sorry but who the hell are you? I had, had a stressful week. My man was not around...the prospect alone of getting no xmas or new years loving had me in a grumpy mood then here this child comes acting like she suffering as well. She was standing half in the hallway and half outside so I decide to shove the bitch out. I pushed enough that she fell on her ass and then I told her to get fcuked and stay away from my house. Then I slammed the door. I walked over to the table where I had left a vase full of water to put in flowers and picked it up and walked to my kitchen window which overlooked my parking spots. I could see Teni stalking angrily in a bad mood to her car which she had the audacity to park in Blacks usual spot instead of guest parking. I waited until she had opened her door before I threw that water on her. Granted it missed her head and splattered her top and the car but the look on her face was pure glory. The twins who were sitting on the lounge suite sat with their eyes and mouths open for a few seconds before they started laughing and congratulating me.

The first thing I did was call Black and tell him, didn't want her twisting the facts now. Surprisingly he laughed so much. He even asked was I ready to walk at night by myself because he didn't think she would let it go. I asked him what happened to the whole "try be friends with Teni" ish he was on when he was here. He explained to me that he had the pleasure of going to dinner with City Girl and bumping into her man's dramatic foolish thinking ex and he had seen how she spoke to City Girl (apparently she was a real bitch) and how it made City Girl look and feel. It made him rethink how he had been looking at the Teni situation. He promised he would not have any more contact with Teni. When he said those words it was like I had a weight lifted off me. I wanted to fly the distance and kiss him....in the end we somehow had phone sex. Which was fun while we were talking but then when I got off the phone it wasn't like I could do anything more about it. What made me laugh though was City Girl's text which I received 5 minutes after talking to Black ...it said "Jezebel, what have you tempted your man with now he can't sit properly, crossing and uncrossing legs, sighing looking sad and drinking beer like water??. P.s don't tie up my phone with your phone sex you think my man does not need to call to get his dose as well? lol"

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August Visitor: The Ex  

Monday 15 December 2008

Q: What other way can you spend the week after thanksgiving ?
A: Go to Aruba with your man.........

Thats what i did..... three days of sun, beach, sex and food....... have i mentioned sex and food? gosh, im such a foodie. It was an unexpected vacation. I planned to take a week off work after thanksgiving to move apartments (now i live further from the boyfriend), have a spa weekend and just hang with myself cuz Christmas period is the busiest at work, with parties and alot of events. It drives me crazy! Anyway boyfriend asks me if i could spare 3 days out of my one week and i reluctantly gave in, honestly i wanted it all to myself. I even told him he shouldnt call me during that week...lol
He showed up at mine with the tickets and could i resist? heck no...... i thought of the sun and heat......... divine! Thank goodness i'd been working hard at the gym so my body was bikini ready. We were to leave the next day and trust me, it took me 5 mins to pack...lol..ok i exaggerate, i think it was like half an hr. I had a lot of fun...... enough said

Guess who's in town? Boyfriend's ex! I have never met her, she stays in Connecticut and she's here for work meetings and decided to meet me....... When the man told me that babe, remember my ex i talked to u about, she's in town and she said she wants to have dinner with u, one on one! I didnt even know what to say, all that came out was sure, i'd make reservations. what food does she like. I had no clue what we were going to say to each other. If the ex was going to be there, it'd have been better. I have never met her or talked to her...... hence my worry!
We met friday night for the dinner. I had seen pictures so i knew it was her from afar. She looked good in her skinny jeans and blazer. I wore a dress cuz i was meeting friends for drinks later. It was awkward at first, how were we supposed to say hello. was i to hug or kiss her cheeks? we settled for a stiff handshake. We placed our orders and the conv started, no wait, the grilling and the sermon. She went ahead to say she was still in love with my boyfriend and came here to see if i was serious with him or we were just passing time. imagine the nerves! wait, shes also Nigerian so u can imagine my shock! She talked all through the meal about how she made the mistake of letting him go, and so on........... Mschewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

All i said was, i was sorry they ended things but clearly hes over you now cuz as a matter of fact, we just got back from Aruba last night and he talked of our future together. I was filled with rage and resisted the urge to throw my glass of wine over her skanky ass...... i thought of BG at that moment and i knew my home gurl would have said more than i did! As soon as i finished my food (hey i was paying), i dropped my card to pay and can u believe what she said, oh, ur now flaunting like u can buy me dinner, hell bitch i can! still dont know how i kept my cool, grabbed my coat and walked out of the restaurant.
BF was so lucky i had a girls night out so i had drowned my anger in Cocktails and champagne...... She's been ringing his phone for 2 days straight now, i wonder what she wants. Someone needs to beat the bitch up men.

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Bond Girl takes out Family Insurance (spy cover inclusive)  

Tuesday 9 December 2008


First off City Girl is on vacation in Aruba with her man (early Christmas gift)which I hinted at Black would be really GREAT if that happened to me. LOL. So because of my absentee partner in writing its just me again....let me hope I do not bore you whilst she's away.

Last week I swear I was not snooping. I swear I had no overt or subconscious plans to snoop. The file I had been working on was on his lap top. I remembered saving the file on it and emailing it to him to go over it so that’s what I was looking for when I came across the email from Teni. I stared at it for 15 minutes not moving and breathing slowly. Black was taking a shower and I could have easily read it. I did the most abnormal thing for a woman I went against every bone in my body telling me to read it and looked for the file. When Black came downstairs he found me at the computer working on the file using his computer. I watched him intently to see if he got jumpy, I leaned forward straining my ears to hear when he spoke if he stuttered or if his truth rang false in my ears. He looked at me and asked “looking for something?”. I couldn’t resist, I replied “hiding something?”. He shrugged and said “ there’s an email I received from Teni today, I am trying to decide what to say in response. Otherwise hiding is not my thing. Delaying telling you stuff yes…lying no” I wished he had lied, I wished he had tried to cover it up. I wanted a reason for my insecurity besides Teni being interested. I wanted my fears to be justified and instead he told me so matter of fact. He was no stranger to the truth this one. For some reason my body temp started to rise, I started to feel warm…....ah shit I realised that I was turned on.

The next day Black told me to forgive, forget and move on. Teni had apologised profusely and in his eyes he sees her remorse as the rebirth of our fractured relationship. I was close to telling him to stop smoking crack on his lunch hours and see that Teni and I have never gotten along before, during and after he was in the picture. My twin sisters Kiki and Lila who are staying with me at the moment can not stand her because she ruined their 21st by calling the police and saying there were drugs being sold on the premises (In Australia they take those calls seriously especially when its a black party...the cops turned up with the fire brigade, paramedics and the dog squad...seriously WTF). My parents and her own think Teni is the devils love child,at 18 her parents kicked her out, she stayed with us for 4 days before my mum kicked her out saying and I quote verbatim "lets give the child to Jesus" (unable to control her psycho ass). My brother doesn't trust her ever since she gave him weed laced with cocaine (dude was so high that day that the next day he missed his first exam in his final year...still very bitter about it). So here comes my sweet boyfriend thinking her apology actually means something to me. If I was evil I would harness his goodness for my own purposes. As it is I try to behave and not abuse his kindness.

I decided to deal with Teni myself. I can't stop her from calling him, texting, dropping by his house and office unannounced but I can keep tabs on her without doing anything myself. The first thing I did is what I like to call taking out family insurance. If you are ever dating a man that likes you enough to introduce you to his family make sure you insure your position by getting along with the key family members. Not only will he be chuffed that you fit so well in his world but you are more likely to know his movements. When Black offered to go Christmas shopping with my sisters, I chose that time to drop by and see his Mum. I baked my famous white chocolate, marshmallow and macademia nut cookies and had a good catch up with his mum for 4 hours. She invited me shopping next week. Next stop was to call his 5 sisters...yes five...and invite them for drinks and dinner with Black, my own sisters and I. That went down a treat, I am attending 5 Christmas work and after parties. Last but not least I went golfing with Black, his Dad and his childhood best friend Craig. We now have a standing arrangement to go golfing every two weeks. By the time this weekend came around I was exhausted but I felt that I was back in the family loop. You know when you are back in the loop when you get the texts, emails and phone calls inviting you for family outings, being asked to baby sit in the case of his 3 married sisters and drinks with his boys. If Teni tries to break into the house of Black while I am away or napping I have FAMILY INSURANCE to cover me.

It worked so well that when Teni dropped by to have lunch with Black for the 3rd time since her fake ass apology, Black's sister Marissa who works in the same building took it upon herself to call me to warn me. Although I acted unconcerned she still told me she didn't trust Teni and would from now on make sure that Black's lunch date would be with her and only her. When he went to lunch with his parents they noticed the number of times she calls him and advised him "to ignore some of the calls because it could give the wrong idea to the wrong girl". I have noticed in the past week when she calls he answers 10% of the calls unlike before where he answered every single one. However Teni is still clever we were chilling out last night with the twins and she called Black four times in a space of an hour. When he finally called back he got off the phone two hours later stating that she was having boyfriend troubles and was quite distraught. In unison Kiki and lila looked up from watching the movie and said "Maybe if she called her own boyfriend as much as she calls you she wouldn't be having problems". I had to secretly dance with glee at that....I love family insurance it makes me sleep a little easier without doing much......

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